Five Reasons Why Free Realms Kind of Rocks

by Alphaville Herald on 30/04/09 at 7:34 am

Butthurt divas of Second Life appear as NPCs in Free Realms

by Tenshi Vielle

Last weekend when I signed in to Free Realms, I cringed upon logon. How fruitcake could a game get? It looked like IMVU and World of Warcraft had a drunken night of debauchery and spawned some kind of freak. The more I looked at it though, the more it reminded me of something else. Spyro the Dragon!

Anyway, here are my five reasons why Free Realms kind of rocks. I would have come up with ten, but the application started glitching on me and wouldn't let me access my friends list so I logged out.

5. They have racing.

I haven't figured out how to get through the gate yet, but anything has to be better than trying to race a car across sims in Second Life, right?


4. The Club Douches have also migrated.

Check out that ROCKIN' BOOMBOX behind him. For more information, please see Vanilla Ice.

3. The same butthurt divas from Second Life appear as NPCs in this game.

The only difference is, you can GET THEM TO SHUT UP.

2. The sexy Second Life Models had no problem making the transition to another platform.

1. They have pie.
Frpie copy

Free Realms just moved from Beta to open access, and can be found at Beta players have to re-register to reclaim their screen names. I am currently awaiting approval on my custom screen name, Tenshi.

8 Responses to “Five Reasons Why Free Realms Kind of Rocks”

  1. Adric Antfarm

    Apr 30th, 2009

    Third direct hit.

    You are on a roll.

    Will you marry me?

  2. Tenshi Vielle

    Apr 30th, 2009

    At the time of this article writing, Free Realms was still in Beta. They went live early Wednesday morning.

  3. Pappy Enoch

    Apr 30th, 2009

    Adric dun writ:

    “Will you marry me?”

    Dang it boy, that are MY line. It are bad enuf bein’ burned in elegy by that rod-up-her-butt prude, Miss Petunia! Now other fellers am stealin’ my come-hither-from-ovur-yonder lines!

  4. Adric Antfarm

    Apr 30th, 2009

    My bad pappy.

    You should very familar. You weren’t in that jug band at last year’s Tulsa State Fair were you?

  5. Alyx Stoklitsky

    Apr 30th, 2009


  6. Jumpman Lane

    Apr 30th, 2009

    IT ROX

  7. Jumpman Lane

    May 1st, 2009

    Hello JumpmanLane,

    We’re sorry to inform you that we have reviewed the name you created in Free Realms and it has not been accepted. While our approval process considers many different factors and there can be many reasons why a name is not approved, this decision is final. Your character will keep the name Jay Goldenhero.

  8. Stephie

    May 2nd, 2009

    Holy shit, Jumpman can copy and paste?

Leave a Reply