Mob Attacks Second Life Vice
by Alphaville Herald on 28/04/09 at 10:49 pm
by Miss Petunia Amaryllis Courtney Taliaferro, SL League of Decency
An overflow crowd recently gathered to protest vice, depravity, and bad taste that mark the current state of Second Life. SLOD reserved a PG region (there being no G regions, sadly) and came well armed against any roaming perverts.
Overflow crowd demands end to Second Life vice – supports coercive interrogation of avatars
Many speakers, taking the lead from my organization, called upon Linden Lab™ to begin coercive interrogation of avatars caught “in the act,” so that a List of Those Who Must Be Lashed™ can be made available to the Linden Beadles™ who will soon be roaming all regions of Second Life, including Pervert Island™, the new concentration camp adult continent. These stalwart doers of the public good will employ my own creation, the Expunge-O-Matic™ permaban system.
The zenith of our gathering was the appearance of none other than the sensitive and talented Septimus Severus Legume, the greatest poet alive in any virtual environment. Mr. Legume read many of his heart-rending verses, including my favorite, “He Who Must Be Burned to a Crispy-Crisp”:
Stand fast! Stout heart
For we stand apart,
Upon the slippery shoals of shame.
We ponder there,
As we prepare,
To expunge an ignoble name.
For his life of vice,
He will pay the price,
For we know who to blame.
With tar and feather,
We shall punish together,
That oozing pustule, Jumpman Lane.
When the reading ended, we continued the festivities.
Well fortified with cups of Earl Grey, table-water crackers, and a wheel of smoked Gouda, we started a fire with piles of Lane's “magazine,” then burned him and other coarse and depraved individuals in effigy.
Famous poet Septimus Severus Legume
Stephie
Apr 29th, 2009
It’s a shame Jumpman himself wasn’t there to be thrown into the e-flames.
Adric Antfarm
Apr 29th, 2009
The monocle was a bit easy, but the rest is great.
I need to get a gram of whatever you are on.
Urizenus Sklar
Apr 29th, 2009
>For we know who to blame.
>With tar and feather,
>We shall punish together,
>That oozing pustule, Jumpman Lane.
So beautiful I wept.
Septimus Severus Legume, Esq.
Apr 29th, 2009
I have suffered for my art.
Now it is your turn.
Jumpman Lane
Apr 29th, 2009
hehehe i got TWo tuxes look better that that freebie shit he got on! i’m gonna getmeh editrix Ms Can Flo to put a foot in petuna’s dumpy ass!
LOL
Apr 29th, 2009
@Miss Petunia Amaryllis Courtney Taliaferro
You little Book Burning party looks to me like Nazi Germany just prior to WWII. Sig Hiel you Fat Bitch
Jumpman Lane
Apr 30th, 2009
HEHEHEH uRI wILL yOU pLEASE sTOP sTOP mAN cRUSHIN oN mEH wITH yOUR pETUNA aLT! i aINT iNTO tAT bROMANTIC cRAP! uNNASTAN! HEHEHEHEHE
Pappy Enoch
May 1st, 2009
Jumpman, Miss Petunia Amorous Courtyou Tallyho mite be an ol’ prune, but she am Hell on Rollurskates when she gits a notion in her head.
She mite crash wun o’ yore hootanannies wif Slut Mag if’n yu ain’t kareful.
But they ain’t no thing as bad pubelicity.
Wun dark lil’ cloud in this purty picture: maybe she wants yu fo’ sum heavy-luvin’ fun. Look out! Run fo’ the hills!
Jumpman Lane
May 1st, 2009
oh and uri please quit usin your pappy enoch alt too! until you learn how hillbillies reall talk. hehehehehe
Archie Lukas
May 6th, 2009
That’s a Duvet your wearing there right?
is that moral cover up of your shape or is it bloody cold there?
Miss Petunia Amaryllis Courtney Taliaferro
May 13th, 2009
“That’s a Duvet your wearing there right?”
Actually, it is a handmade silk promenade gown handed down from my Great-great Aunt, the Marquessa Calixta Matamoros y Legumbres.
I must drape my queenly form to conceal it from the prying and salacious eyes of the lowly who slink about the gutters of the vast moral slum known as Second Life.