Opinion. Finally! PETA Joins PETSA Crusade Against Killing Virtual Animals
by Alphaville Herald on 09/04/09 at 7:00 am
by Mrs. President Chomsky
Faithful readers of the Herald will recall the dark days of the pet culling operations in The Sims Online. Those events led St. Frank of Alphaville and me to form PETSA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Simulated Animals). While those pet culling operations and TSO have thankfully gone offline, a new menace has descended upon the metaverse — the killing of baby seals inside of World of Warcraft. But there is good news! PETA has taken up our cause and will be staging a protest inside WOW against these sick killings next Saturday. They have also released a video which aptly illustrates just how boorish these virtual animal killers are (not surprisingly, they have southern accents — nothing says thugish neanderthal virtual pet killer like a southern accent!).
Humans= omnivores
Apr 9th, 2009
Yay for PETA for saving hundreds of animals!!
and then killing them. Because people should not own pets, and finding new owners for the saved pets, is too costly.
And yay for other animal welfare organisations, saving furfarm animals by releasing them into the wild!
And thus killing them. A mink born in captivity of course knows instantly how to hunt for food and what predators to avoid.
Killing animals is bad, y’all! (unless you’re a PETA member, then it’s very ethical to off some innocent, cute little creatures.)
Pappy Enoch
Apr 9th, 2009
This am a offense tu Suthern Fellers in generul n’ tu mee erpecially. Nobody talks thataway in Canada!
How on Gawd’s gray earth did them Peter-head Peta folks git intu a fake wirld? I figgered they didn’t like corn-putin’ Web stuff an’ were a’ sittin’ round smokin’ Wacky Weed an’ playin’ “Kumbyyou” on the git-tar.
They ain’t got the brains Gawd give geese (or me). But even I knows ONE thang: If’n the good Lord didn’t want folks tu et animals, why in the Sam Hill did he make ‘em out of MEAT?
Them-thar baby seals looks rite tastee. An’ yu gits a fur hat out’n the carcass! Hoo whee! I’m signin’ up! Look out PETA! Ol’ Tug-boat am a’comin’ and he am HUNGRY!
Satan
Apr 9th, 2009
I would condense that and say nothing says thuggish neanderthal more than a southern accent. And you’d be right. Ever see that movie Jeepers Creepers? Scared the shit out of me the first time I saw it before I realized that guy was a monster. See, at first I thought he was a redneck! Way scarier than monsters IMO. Gee, I sure am glad that I don’t have a southern accent, since I’m not a native southerner and whatnot.
Ava.Cartier
Apr 9th, 2009
Dear Lord: Please let me understand satire and sarcasm more than I do. On the Interwebs, it’s difficult for me to discern when people are lunatics or asshats or for real and my meds don’t help. Yours very truly, Ava.
Urizenus Sklar
Apr 9th, 2009
>If’n the good Lord didn’t want folks tu et animals, why in the Sam Hill did he make ‘em out of MEAT?
Sage words as always Pappy.
Debi Dastardly
Apr 9th, 2009
What the H*** dose having a southern accent have to do with anything.
Oh and Pappy its really getting old people from the southern hills don’t talk like that stupid. And your not funny you insanely retarded.
We
Apr 10th, 2009
To their own credit, they’re not actually protesting killing virtual baby seals in WoW, rather using WoW as a medium to protest the real life killing of seals.
Still a stupid idea, but a bit less ridiculous than protesting the death of virtual animals.
Overcast
Apr 10th, 2009
Yeah – PETA never mentions the twp PETA volunteers that got busted for dumping dead puppies in a strip mall garbage can or the fact they own large freezers to store dead animals in… Hey, I’m not making it up – go google it.
But I avoid killing the happy little creatures in WoW, just because… I’m like that, I guess.
Professor Enoch
Apr 10th, 2009
Debi, don’t be so harsh on Pappy. I have to say that ever since the roasting he got with his first Second Life article, his command of the English language has improved. It still retains its essential flavor, but is now less seizure inducing to read. I say we give Pappy an honorary degree from BP and Manchester Business School for Writing and Composition. Hard work deserves reward!
Ari Blackthorne
Apr 10th, 2009
I’m a PETA member…
“People Eating Tasty Animals”
…and there is PETSA, too: “People Eating Tasty STUPID Animals.”
Got A-1 Sauce?
Pappy Enoch, PhD
Apr 10th, 2009
Awww…Perfesser Enoch…Do I git me wun o’ them graduashun gowns?
I kin take a roastin’ fine: long as they pays me to git cooked up
Ain’t no such thing as bad press….
Anysohow, I saves my “pure raw hillbily” for my comments hear an’ puts on the cityfolk translatur fo’ my articles.
Now ff’n Debi read ANY of “As I Lay Dying” or George Washington Harris’ “Sut Lovingood” stories or Flannery O’Conner’s Wise Blood she mite–jist mite–learn a bitty-bit more about parody of po’ boys like me.
But she cain’t remember to say “it’s” instead of “its” and “you’re” instead o’ “your” so I ain’t holdin’ out tu much hope fo’ liturary enlightenmunt on the po’ gal’s part.
Shauna Skye
Apr 11th, 2009
For a moment there I thought I was reading The Onion.
peta still sucks
Dec 11th, 2013
People Eating Tasty Animals: SUPER EPIC FAIL for animals since 1980