by Alphaville Herald on 04/09/09 at 10:33 am
Farmers demand chicken-replacement program
by Pappy Enoch, Pullet-Surprise Winner
Herald readers been a-carrying on worse than a coop full o' hens when the fox gets in, about dumb-heads shooting birds and Sion ripping folks off for feed. So I decided to hit the poultry-beat for Miss Pixeleen.
I put on a big ol' chicken getup (Miss Pixeleen figured it might draw some griefers) and did me a search for you-know-what. Hoo whee! 956 hits!
So I started wandered from here to yonder, looking for griefers. But griefers ain't the worst thing that them farmers of fake chickens runs up against.
I done found out who am the rotten egg in the henhouse: it are Linden Lab.
Them rascals smokin' funny cigarettes in the hot tubs of fancified Sanny Frisco cornduminiums don't know nothing about no chickens. In fact, LL am a-killin' them wholesale…ol' Frank Perdue ain't got nothing on them Lindens for chickenocide.
Of course, my point o' view might be a little–and I means a leetle–warped by who I talked to. All I found am pretty gal-farmers! I died and done went to the Chicken Ranch, boys, and I were the only cock-a-doodle in the pen. So I sparked an' courted them gals somewhat, in hopes of getting a good story, of course.
I figured the chicken suit didn't hurt my chances none.
Pappy Enoch: howdy ma'am
Sexy Farmer 1: hi pappy
sionChicken egg: Hatching prevented due to sionChicken radi-O-static.
Pappy Enoch: I comes from the Alphaville Herald. I'm on the Chicken beat about them griefers attacking Sion chickens. I hopes to catch me one…undercover don't you know. You had trouble?
Sexy Farmer 1: No i have not
Pappy Enoch: How about your customers?
Sexy Farmer 1: Not that i know of
Pappy Enoch: Good [notices Sexy Farmer 1 has an egg in her basket, so to speak]
Pappy Enoch: When am the little one due?
Sexy Farmer 1: Thursday
Pappy Enoch: Hoo whee! That's tomorrow!
Sexy Farmer 1: Yes I cant wait
Pappy Enoch: Boy or gal?
Sexy Farmer 1: Boy
Pappy Enoch: What you gonna name the lil rascal?
Sexy Farmer 1: Devin
Pappy Enoch: So do you sell them-there Sion chickens or raise them?
Sexy Farmer 1: Both
Pappy Enoch: Lots of business?
Talking tummy: Sexy Farmer 1 is hungry and needs a Yougart Cup
Pappy Enoch: Why does folks enjoy Sion chickens? [trying to ignore the talking tummy, wondering if walking around in a chicken suit is any weirder]
Sexy Farmer 1: They r fun to have around lots of colors and breeds
Pappy Enoch: Are it an expensive hobby?
Sexy Farmer 1: Yes
Pappy Enoch: Most hobbies am
Pappy Enoch: I wish you all the luck with the chickens..and your little bundle o' joy
Her tummy were as big as a tobbacky hogshead..so no action for Pap there. I tried me another landmark.
Pappy Enoch: Howdy Ma'am. I comes from the Alphaville Herald and am reporting on Sion Chickens
Pappy Enoch: Am you a chicken farmer?
Sexy Farmer 2: Yes i am a farmer
Pappy Enoch: You might wonder "why am that feller dressed like a chicken?"
Sexy Farmer 2: Yes hehe
Pappy Enoch: Well, my boss said it were a good idea
Pappy Enoch: And two, I plans to catch them chicken-griefers by being in disguise. You ever had trouble?
Sexy Farmer 2: I hope you do we have lost a lot of chickens to sl lag lately hehe
Pappy Enoch: Lag but not griefers?
Sexy Farmer 2: No i have my well protected i think. That is not the biggest problem i have had with the chickens.
Pappy Enoch: How does lag get them?
Sexy Farmer 2: They lag off the sim and end up in our inventory and then you can not put them back out cause they died
Pappy Enoch: That's a dang shame…expensive too
Sexy Farmer 2: That is not the biggest problem i have had with the chickens Lag gets them to where they dont eat and then they die from hunger when sl has issues
Sexy Farmer 2: Like the past two weekends
Pappy Enoch: How many did you lose?
Sexy Farmer 2: Other then the costly healing kits to bring them back I am happy with the chicken business
Sexy Farmer 2: I think the weekend before about 14 of them and last weekend I had to bring back 18 of them
Pappy Enoch: How about the turtles?
Sexy Farmer 2: I dont know i am gonna try the turtles they look like fun
Sexy Farmer 2: But i really love the chickens cause you can breed them and try to get really nice colors from them
Pappy Enoch: how did you stop the griefers? no damage sim?
Sexy Farmer 2: What is the biggest complant you have had about the chickens from the other farmers ?
Pappy Enoch: Well, the expense
Sexy Farmer 2: You mean the expenise of the food or healing kits ?
Pappy Enoch: The expense was the cost of raising them, generally
Pappy Enoch: And earlier on, the griefers shooting them
Sexy Farmer 2: Shooting them ? Wow that is not good
Pappy Enoch: Griefers were doing that. I would love to catch one
Sexy Farmer 2: I am thnkfull that I own my own sim so a griefer comes I can ban them on the spot
Pappy Enoch: The healing kits add a new angle to that
Pappy Enoch: That's great about having your own sim. Some farmers were wiped out
Sexy Farmer 2: Well he has [a healing kit] set for 90L so think about how much I have spent in the past two weekends cause of sl issues
Sexy Farmer 2: Yeah because of the taxing issues with lag on mainland I think it was
Pappy Enoch: So when you cain't log in, your chickens still age and get hungry?
Sexy Farmer 2: Yes i always lay down plenty of food for the or use a silo
Pappy Enoch: Do you reckon that LL should provide a you with something when that happens…a chicken rebate?
Sexy Farmer 2: Yes I think they should do something to fix that espically if they get sent off world ..LL should offer a replacement
Pappy Enoch: [wondering about something called a "fence" but trying to be polite] Thank you for all the info.
[A Sexy German Chicken farmer showed up, wanting to buy some poultry]
Sexy German Chicken Farmer: bin gerade auf einer huener und eier markt.
I were thinking of putting myself up for sale as their own Little Red Rooster, but them gals got down to business and I went on home, with nary a hen in my coop.
Say…Miss Pixeleen, you reckon I can cover Zindra in this here chicken suit? I might find me some game-birds over there!
[Pappy, with that suit you are teh sex - I'm sure you will be a total chick magnet in Zindra -- the Editrix]