The Alphaville Herald

11 Responses to “Second Life 7th Birthday”

1. 

   Pappy Enoch
   

   Jun 22nd, 2010
   

   PS Y’all: I done forgot me one thing. I needs advice befo’ my date. What in the Sam Hill am a “tarot reading”?

   Are it (as I hopes) actin’ out scenes from one o’ them-there love-picture books? Ya’ll knows–the one wif drawings of fellers an’ gals all bent into them love-knots? Camel sum’fin or other, I think it were called.

   Ol’ boy down in Galax at the Fiddler’s Cornvention one time telled me them love-books come from sumwhere called “the Mystical East.”

   I ain’t never been east o’ Danville so hell if I knows.

   Anysohow, come what may this am better’n bankin’ any ol’ day. Git over to that 7th birfday par-tee. They mite not be no #8.
2. 

   Pappy Enoch
   

   Jun 22nd, 2010
   

   Now the sexy Fortune Teller gal done said I could share a SLURL wif y’all so’s you can talk to that head in the bubble and git a card-readin’ too, hoo wee!

   http://slurl.com/secondlife/SL7B%20Sideways/67/189/21

   That am straight to the goodie bag wif all sorts o’ free stuff. Git it, ya’ll!
3. 

   Sinead McMillan
   

   Jun 22nd, 2010
   

   @pappy enoch “I heared from Mistophur Au that the pictures o’ nekkid gals was tossed out, but you knows SL. Who needs pictues?”

   would you say that’s funny, though?
   really?

   (anny culture?)
4. 

   Sinead McMillan
   

   Jun 22nd, 2010
   

   i am not saying that you support that kind of attitude.
5. 

   Sinead McMillan
   

   Jun 22nd, 2010
   

   uh, drunken, but content is okay
6. 

   It's Unfixable
   

   Jun 23rd, 2010
   

   SL7B was one big yawn. Pappy’s write-up was the best part of the whole thing.
7. 

   Tesseract Toxx
   

   Jun 24th, 2010
   

   Hee Haw and Merry Christmas! Pappy is the best!
8. 

   hobo kelly
   

   Jun 24th, 2010
   

   Wellsum sumtimes I think ole Unfixable outs themselves as sum kinda alien from outer space sayin’ things like sl7b were a yawn. It were one o’ the biggest hootenanys I ever dun seen. It dun took me two whole days to see that thar whole thing. An it were crammed chock o’ block full of good stuff from hundreds a people.

   Pappy, they sure enough do need ta pay ya more fer tenderin’ fine stories like this here one, what wif pictures too, and whatnot. It were definately On the Road wif Pappy Enoch at the fair. You dun walked right up to that thar Linden and started engagin’ the enemy just like nothin’. Had ‘em coughin’ up strategic infos an everything. Sweet.

   I was just kinda lookin around and takin’ a few pictures too. I was just kinda standin’ thar. Mindin’ my own business you might say, lookin’ around takin a few pictures. When all of a sudden I just about got run over by one of them thar floatin’ Tram Cars. Fer them what don’t know, they have some floatin’ Tram Cars that go around the Birthday Fair. They travel all over and um take about an hour ta go all the wayz around and all…

   But them Tram Cars ain’t too smart. Iffen I hadn’t dun moved it would have run me down sure enough wif out shakin’ two sticks together. That damn Tram dun gave me an idear fer some fun right thar. Next thing ya know I gots me my own Floatin Tram Car and I was goin down that thar line…

   Tram dun rhymes wif Ram and thats what dun happened hardly before ya knew what were even goin on. BLAMMO. I were sittin real comfy ridin along in my Ram Tram, seein’ all them thar sights that thar is to see in that big Birthday Fair. So many streets to turn down, so much junk to see. But just as I thought I was on easy street fer an hour next thing you know some dumb sombitch were standin’ smack in the middle of the road right where that durn Ram Tram thought it had the right-o-way.

   Well that durn Floatin Tram car just ran him down like nothin flat. I felt a bump was all as all that thar fake iron and steel Tram just subducted that dum hapless accident victim right underneath that thar Tram. Knocked him down and ran him over. I seen him come out from under it all flat as I snuck a look back… He werent lookin too good at that point.

   Next thing you know, the blood were barely dry on that thar Tram car hull what when another obstacle presented itself to that thar Killer Ram Tram from hell. Sum fancy gal who were wearin’ one of them thar big hoop skirts were just standin’ thar. In the middle of the road. In the middle of the road she were just standin wif that big colourful old fashioned hoopskirt dress on. Best move maam’ cuz the Ram Tram frum Hell dun has its own mind about things, like goin forward and all…

   Welp, it dun happened. You can about imagine it before I even have to break the awful news I reckon. Yep. That thar Ram Tram dun knocked ‘er down right on her arse but that weren’t the worst part I reckon. After that hungry Tram from Hell dun knocked her down, it dun run ‘er over and subducted ‘er right under that thar tram only her big ole hoop skirt acted like a natural scoop once she were down and that thar front of the Tram done locked into that hoopskirt like it were made fer it and I’ll be go to Heck iffen it didn’t drag that poor gal fer the better portion of a whole sim before she dun dislodged at that thar sim crossin’. What can I say? That thar Tram had a mind of its own…

   Wellsum I thought, that kind o’ comedy lightnin’ only strikes once or twice at the most so youall can imagine my surprise when another gal, kinda of a tall skinny hippy type this time, were just a standin’ there IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, in the middle of that thar road, and fer sum strange reason, maybe it were that funny cigarette she bees bein smokin’ but her arms were a flailin’ all around in some kind o’ dance or sumthin’ but her arm dun got lodged in one of them windows on that thar Ram Tram and next thing ya knows I gots me a hippy bein’ dragged along side, just a runnin real fast at full Tram speed. I reckon that was cuz she wanted to keep her arm and all. Welp, she was flalin’ and flappin’ and runnin all at the same time until she done bumped into this Shifty lookin’ guy.

   That shifty lookin guy were just standin there all innocent and all, dreamin his dreams, sendin’ his prayers up to that thar Spirit what watches over that thar fake world, I reckon, when all of a sudden along comes me and that thar Ram Tram what wif Hippy Girl in tow, and by heck iffen she didn’t slam right into Shifty Guy, at what time she dun come unstuck from the Tram.

   I reckon that thar shifty guy dun thought his prayers were bein’ answered in instant karma fashion or sumthin’ cuz as soon as that thar Jittery Hippy Girl done land in his arms, it weren’t five seconds befer he started talking all this French to her and makin them little happy faces what cut across most language barriers I reckon. I had to chance me a look back to see iffen she was slappin him or strappin him, but all I could see were the newly formed couple just standin there, receding into that thar fake parallax of an unfashionable corner of that thar SL7B birftay party, as my Tram dun moved on…
   .
9. 

   It's Unfixable
   

   Jun 24th, 2010
   

   Pappy Enoch in fine form. Good stuff.
10. 

    Pappy Enoch
    

    Jun 24th, 2010
    

    Hobo, I shoulda warned you about goin’ to that-there fake fair drunk. But even if’n you was sober, which I doubt, they ain’t no sense in lettin’ fellers like you an’ me within a mile o’ no mersheens. I kin bust stuff by lookin’ at it hard.

    To set sum facts straight: I were a-tryin’ to get me a date wif Courtney Linden–she am a little ol’ hot hot hottie rite out o’ hotville. But no dice.

    Just as well, I reckons. Them office-type city gals don’t know how to deal wif no natural-born man who was born 8′ tall in his bare feet in that fake world they done made.

    But the fortune teller gal says she likes my story. I sho’ hopes she don’t end up wif no prim babies. I still gots me a wheelbarrow full o’ the ones I done found that time.
11. 

    Wolf Baginski
    

    Jun 28th, 2010
    

    Girls vary.

    I could tell you about what Freya did to get field-commissioned as a Warrior-Priestess, but then I think she’d have to kill you.

    She changed my life, but it’s been worth it.

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