Op/Ed: The Loss of Civility

by Alphaville Herald on 10/07/10 at 10:40 am

by FoxM Ember

Is it art that imitates life, or is the other way around? I forget, and perhaps with today’s technology they have become interchangeable. 

At the risk of exposing my “old fashion,” I believe we have now become fully immersed in a self-created culture of declining morality and non-existent shared values.  We live in a world – both real and virtual – where ethics and integrity have become rarer than a fully funded government entitlement program.  Today’s freedom from the constraints of societal acceptability, has given rise to a near total disregard of societal sensibilities; where an offender becomes the offended should anyone question their right to express themselves in anyway whatsoever, regardless of how repugnant or offensive you – or for that matter, the majority of citizens – may find it.   

“Do not impede my right to expression lest ye be called a prudish, racist, bigoted, close-minded Neanderthal; and if I do not receive a proper apology and restitution, you can add ‘defendant’ to the list.” 

a culture where arrogance and conceit is exalted
 

We live in a culture where arrogance and conceit is exalted, and self-control and modesty ridiculed. Is it any wonder that our SL is reflective of this cultural reality?  Or perhaps it’s SL and the technological advancements in communication, including our virtual worlds and anonymous avatars that have emboldened purveyors of a new strain of crassness.  No…this isn’t exactly a new trend, but it is becoming increasingly virulent; and to what end?  What purpose? 

Why do griefers, grief, or posters insult?  Why would someone choose to ridicule, insult, or attempt to discredit on a personal level, another’s values, opinions or perspective?  Some make it their mission to insult and offend those who either possess a different perspective than their own, or who dare to engage in creative arts and self-expression.  I cannot count the number of times that I’ve come across a vulgar, pointless posted comment in a forum or online publication targeting a work of art, or a written work, expressed opinion, (yes, both from personal experience and from reading others’ works) or even entire publications and online communities for no other purpose than to inflict ugliness (I do own a Thesaurus and tried numerous words here, but none was more applicable that that one). 

Ah, I feel a hankering the good ole’ days.  Remember the innocence of a good old fashioned email flame war?  But the chat rooms of days past slowly deteriorated into screen’s full of obscenities, which then gave way to “click-here-to-see-my-panties” bots, pornographic pop up ads and crass instant messages.  The advances in communicative technology, coupled with near limitless anonymity have birthed a virtual “Rosemary’s Baby” of rudeness. With no societal consequence for offensive or insulting speech, much less shame, save that of having creating a new onscreen name, ID or avatar, the hounds of ugliness hell have been unleashed upon us all; and they are bold, and they are growing in number and vulgarity. 

While I have certainly been guilty of exalting the ne’er-do-well hacker turned IT security professional, or the intelligence of someone able to crack a code that allows them to do what was seemingly undoable, in either the real or virtual worlds, I believe there is in fact a distinction for those whose motives are to do, because it can be done, and others.  

“Why do you want to climb that mountain?”  

“Because it’s there, damn it.” 

“Why do you want to hack the code in order to stampede a herd of virtual elephants through this sim?” 

 “Because it’s there, damn it.”

Love them, hate them, but it’s clear to me that their motivations, while perhaps not quite altruistic, are neither malevolent.   

However, there are also those who choose to engage in mischief because they find a form of sadistic pleasure in the intentional infliction of offense and insult, for insults sake.  These little people have little or no shame, nor sense of propriety, hiding behind their screen names and avatars, where it is safe to throw out baseless insults and scornful criticisms without accountability.  At least someone who engages in this loss of civility in the real world is prepared, in most cases, for responsibility to be ascribed to them.  But here in the vastness of our virtual worlds, boors are allowed to push the envelope of incivility, if not vulgarity, with impunity and cowardice. 

While I fully anticipate becoming something of lightning rod for having written this piece, I shall cling to the adage that “any press is good press.”  Yet, I cannot help but to mourn this death of societal politeness in our second and first lives.  This is the unintended consequence of our ability to communicate with those around the world, from different walks of life and share our beliefs, customs, creativity and opinions with them.  It is the unfortunate price now paid.   

At least I’ve learned some new curse words…in Dutch.     

31 Responses to “Op/Ed: The Loss of Civility”

  1. V

    Jul 10th, 2010

    I have a feeling you want to tell us something.

  2. Mary Elizabeth

    Jul 10th, 2010

    ‘Why would someone choose to ridicule, insult, or attempt to discredit on a personal level, another’s values, opinions or perspective?’

    The SL version of a Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh show or a speech by Sarah Palin. Nasty small minded people looking for attention, not worrying about facts, not caring about the people affected, and certainly not living a spotless live themselves.

  3. Brookston Holiday

    Jul 10th, 2010

    Seems to me this argument has been expounded by people since time immemorial. The person who says they are offended has added nothing to the argument, and is cheaply complaining, attempting to make what should be exclusively their problem the responsibility of someone else. Get over yourself, hang out with other’s of your taste if you cannot take the risk of rubbing up to minds of differing values and opinions. Your delicate feelings of offense are your providence, not mine or anyone else’s.

  4. JustMe

    Jul 10th, 2010

    QUOTE With no societal consequence for offensive or insulting speech, much less shame, UNQUOTE

    I think that phrase explains it all .. with no consequence, people feel free to do anything they want

  5. Senban Babii

    Jul 10th, 2010

    @JustMe

    “I think that phrase explains it all .. with no consequence, people feel free to do anything they want”

    That works both ways though. Anonymity also enables a person to freely comment on say a social injustice without fear.

    We can’t blame society’s fall into uncivility on either too much anonymity or too few consequences. At the end of the day, we *choose* as individuals as to whether we act with civility or not.

  6. Deadlycodec

    Jul 10th, 2010

    “While I have certainly been guilty of exalting the ne’er-do-well hacker turned IT security professional, or the intelligence of someone able to crack a code that allows them to do what was seemingly undoable, in either the real or virtual worlds, I believe there is in fact a distinction for those whose motives are to do, because it can be done, and others.

    “Why do you want to climb that mountain?”

    “Because it’s there, damn it.”

    “Why do you want to hack the code in order to stampede a herd of virtual elephants through this sim?”

    “Because it’s there, damn it.”

    Love them, hate them, but it’s clear to me that their motivations, while perhaps not quite altruistic, are neither malevolent. ”

    I wish more people understood this, instead of feeling threatened. Well said.

  7. Tux

    Jul 10th, 2010

    As one who seems to have successfully played many roles in SL (mostly for personal reasons). I have lost much and gained more. And have acted with deliberate intentions at times.

    At no point have I relied on being just an anonymous avatar. For my RL identity was known very early on. And in fact I have had two cars now subjected to red paint because of choices I have made in SL, with comments like: ‘don’t you think your Range Rover looks better in communist colours, Dominic, I mean er . . . Tux’.

    That said, I still am there pushing to see what can be done. Why? because I can. And why not? after all it is my virtual world, right? To all the wannabe law types I say a big FU, you have no more right trying to tell me what to do, than I you. And, if I do happen to be blessed from a linden, they are usually more interested in how I am doing something than playing the hand of god.

    I am still surprised by the number of emotypes crying over something I am doing. Just because they have zero skill and couldn’t fight their way out of a hollowed plywood textured prim. If you interrupt me in an aggressive way then don’t be offended when I show you something you have never seen!

    So in short: If I can I will so unless you can stop me, FU!

  8. Little Lost Linden

    Jul 11th, 2010

    All we can really hope for is that Pappy can have many offspring. Pappy would never be affected by cruel intentions that are so widespread in the metaverse these days. If Pappy ever runs for president, he has my vote.

  9. Darien Caldwell

    Jul 11th, 2010

    Things are really no worse than they’ve ever been.

  10. Pappy Enoch

    Jul 11th, 2010

    LittleLost, I reckon I’d scribble you in for VP.

    I’d git you rite on them Chinese bots what am makin’ all that cheap stuff at the Wal-Mart. It ain’t fair!

    But to the point here: I are far beyond cruelty because it don’t matter none. Life am cruel an’ painful, ya’ll: why should that-there fake life be better?

    This am why God give us drugs an’ strong drink an’ wicked gals: to forgit the pain o’ livin’ in a mean old world.

  11. Marc Woebegone

    Jul 11th, 2010

    Speaking of morality, it’s interesting to read Lindens’ motion to dismiss in the evans v. sl land class action suit, and the muli-layered inconsistent morality demonstrated…. http://secondlife.typepad.com

  12. marilyn murphy

    Jul 11th, 2010

    it all started with, “Gone With the Wind”.

    at the time of it’s release, word of mouth spread that Clark Gable actually said “damn” on screen. people flocked to the theater for this bit of outre’ behavior.
    moguls took note. the rest is an escalating attempt at tittilation to gain more bucks. i think we must have hit the tittilation overload in the mid nineties with a president who didn’t understand what “is” is. (although kudos has to be given that president for balancing the budget, and the whole smear over the intern was incredibly over blown, and wasted media).
    so we now land in the “there is no over the top anymore” media experience. good luck to us all.

  13. [...] Alphaville Harold has published an op-ed by FoxM Ember. (10y/07m/10) Using the title I copied, The Loss of Civility. The loss of civility and the inability of people to debate controversial issues and move [...]

  14. Kendra C

    Jul 11th, 2010

    A turd is still a turd regardless of how pretty of a bow you wrap it with.
    A pervert is still a pervert regardless of the adjectives being used to make them seem acceptable to the rest of normal society.
    If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck… chances are it’s a duck.

  15. Nalates Urriah

    Jul 11th, 2010

    Tux shows a confrontation style of response, which is neither good nor bad. Often there are issues and people that need to be confronted and called on the ideas, information, and claims they make and put forward. I think Fox’s point is about how that is done.

    Tux also makes a point along the line of; if you can’t take the heat, stay out. Good advice.

    I think much of the problem in what people see as uncivil discussion is a lack of knowing how to debate an issue with intellectual honesty and rational thought. Logic escapes many people.

    It is my belief that one needs to do more than just lament a problem such as the loss of civility. If it’s worth blogging about then it should be worth enough to think of a solution. I believe if one wants to raise the level of human discourse, or even just complain about it, they have an obligation to be well informed on the subject.

    In December 2009 I started a project to figure out how discourse in forums might be improved. I blogged about it, again, in response to this post, The Loss of Civility. (http://nalates.wordpress.com/2010/07/11/the-loss-of-civility/) The thread Standards for Discussion and Debate (http://forums.openuru.org/viewforum.php?f=46&sid=b717aa21cf19635f89d47760fce27a52) is a project to find good solutions for forums and forum members to implement to combat disagreeable behavior.

  16. c3

    Jul 11th, 2010

    well marilyn…youre kinda right…

    but its more about “electric recorded media” and its century long affects on us as a society. When “virtuality” is considered “reality” and with that “assumption” the rules of each – merge- you end up where we are today..

    the greatest damage beign done now is by the “3d meta gamers” and the “new gov 2.0 ” folk who cant seperate the “video” from the “game” and are flying from city to city, and blog to blog and university to university .

    to kendra, though you may be right, and a turd is always in reality a turd, no matter how its wrapped…. you fail like so many to realize that the reality is not the affector online. only virtuality -is.

    the civil war in reality released many to freedom…the “movies” about it, when no longer “allowed to be virtuality = movies” but now risen to “icons of reality” via faith, mayl return them all, and more to slavery.

    in many ways the real failure of this Herald is this dance it does between reality and virtuality…. but it amuses its overlords i assume. as they refuse to disclose if they understand this or not.

  17. Pierce Kronos

    Jul 11th, 2010

    The mute button works very well as does de-rez. If you don’t like what you hear or see, eliminate it from “your” world. Wall up your garden and live in ignorant bliss.

    The best thing about incivility is that it gives your their measure without you having to figure it out.

  18. K.T.D.

    Jul 11th, 2010

    “I think that phrase explains it all .. with no consequence, people feel free to do anything they want”
    ^^ THIS.

    It’s the same IDGAF attitude that I see daily from most of the 21 and under set RL. People are just rude cunts and only the consequence of getting their ass kicked keeps their mouth in check.

  19. Hylee

    Jul 12th, 2010

    Wow! I knew the Herald had some writers hidden somewhere!
    Very good job FoxM! Thank You!

  20. Sylauxe

    Jul 12th, 2010

    Maybe you’re just a big sloppy vagina?

  21. Hylee

    Jul 12th, 2010

    Why hello Mr. Zhao.
    I see you are pretty much the same as the last time we met. ;)

  22. Sylauxe

    Jul 12th, 2010

    If by that you mean naked and eating a can of olives irl then yeah, that’s me.

  23. Levity Monday

    Jul 13th, 2010

    “At least I’ve learned some new curse words…in Dutch.”

    Well, good for you.

    But how is this related to the rest of the text?

  24. Glenn Beck

    Jul 13th, 2010

    Didn’t Hitler say something like this before tossing Jews into ovens?

  25. Emperor Norton hears a who?

    Jul 13th, 2010

    No, that was Obama who said it Glen. Your’ mistake is understandable since it is so easy to mix up Hitler with Obama but keep in mind; even Hitler never went after the tanning salons.

    With tanning salon taxes trolling and flamming on the internet are to be expected. People are upset and rightfully so. It hits people were they live.

  26. Ted

    Jul 13th, 2010

    Working on the new BP simulator design. When entering, you land on a gushing river of oil that spreads out over the ocean waters. With three large tankers and pipes connected to the ships above, the oil is dispersed up through a pipe to the surface. Dead oiled grasses at the shoreline with scripted oily foam textures, dead seagulls and turtles coupled with dark brown oily beach sand textures bring new reality to the virtual world. All that is left is a few dark oily plooms for under the water and a few dead fishes, a whale, etc.. and it should be ready.

    On the beaches, you have the don’t breath, swim, or even think of coming close to the methane gas signs with the BP logo.

    Over head few small planes flying over the ocean pouring out the mega barrels of toxic corexit dispersant. Of course this will be accomplished with a small particle script.

    Good article.
    We need more articles that relate to reality.

  27. Emperor Norton hears a who?

    Jul 13th, 2010

    Ted,
    To complete the simulation you need environmentalists meeting secretly with a rigger to help him blow himself and his rig up just to ruin BP reputation. Then you can cut to the out of control government witch hunt were they steal 20 billion of BP’s money.

    Let’s not forget the real victim in the Gulf; BP. It was hard working American companies like BP that make this country the greatest on earth. Don’t let the Nazis on the left destroy it.

  28. Jumpman Lane

    Jul 13th, 2010

    Why must I cry these tears from my eyes

  29. hobo kelly

    Jul 14th, 2010

    Wellsum, I reckon that thar is a picture of Sutherland Dam up thar. Could this here well tossed word salad be aimed squarely at… nah… but then again…

  30. Gundel Gaukelei

    Jul 15th, 2010

    @Emperor Norton
    BP is a british company, Mr. Conspiracy Theorist. And it has been founded as DPAG 1906 in Germany. So who’s the Nazi now ;-) .

  31. Sigmund Leominster

    Jul 15th, 2010

    “These little people have little or no shame, nor sense of propriety, hiding behind their screen names and avatars, where it is safe to throw out baseless insults and scornful criticisms without accountability.”

    This is the SL analog of the “Weak-given-Power” syndrome: The trailer-trash fast-food customer who harangues the drive-though server; the pussy-whipped Mall Cop who harasses folks because he can; the humorless DVLC employee who makes you re-do a piece of paper because it’s the only power they have; the TSA reps who smile as they make you empty your bag; or the refuse collector who refuses to pick up a bag because it’s the wrong color.

    In SL, the weak and powerless can adopt a new identity and pretend to be someone else. And unfettered by accountability or responsibility, they can revel in imitating some reality TV diva or infantile sports celeb by being crass, obnoxious, boorish, while hiding behind the “if you can’t take the heat” argument typical of the self-absorbed and insecure.

    Of course, every society in recorded history has claimed itself to be on the edge of moral bankruptcy, decadent, and moribund, so there’s no reason to suspect we in the 21st century are any worse- or any better. The anonymity of SL just heightens the poor behavior of its worst residents.

    “In reality our fellow-citizens have not sunk so low as we feared, because they had never risen so high as we believed.” Freud, 1915. Thoughts for the Times.

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