Gus Pixelmaid — Post 6 Dog

by Alphaville Herald on 11/12/10 at 12:55 am

[This week it is an honor to introduce Gus Pixelmaid, Post 6 Dog. I believe that Gus is the first dog avatar featured here at Post 6, and while it may be an adage that in seeking job satisfaction one should never seek to work with children or animals, I must say that working with Gus was a sheer pleasure. As Gus wishes to remain in character he has asked me to say that his avie is by Realistek, so I say that and then get out of the way for Gus Pixelmaid, Post 6 Dog. ~Timothy Morpork]

Gus Pixelmaid

Woof. Woof errff Gus. Burp. Woof woof woof rrrrrrrrrr mmmmph. Woof woof woof woof woof woof rrrrrp! Glrp? Ruff ruff errf ? Woof Woof. Hrmmm? Arf gr woof arf woof Ginger Rarf arf arf! Hmbrger mmph garph arf woof erf. Grph hmmm gurff woof arrrrrrarrrrrarrrrrpph!

Ok, enough of that. I can read and write in English and even speak it some. Most dogs can, we just don’t, but because I have several thousand readers’ attention let me throw a few things out there. I apologize to my fellow canines for breaking the code.

-Bassett Hounds. They will never completely understand housebreaking. Yes, they really are that dumb, just love them or don’t get one.

-Poodles really are assholes.

-Julian Assange. I’m not yet convinced he’s a good guy. If we give him a break in the name of transparency what’s to stop him from eventually pissing on the carpet too?

-Cheese. More of this please. Doesn’t matter which type, it’s all good.

-Cats. They really do think about ways to murder you all day long, that’s all they do. I don’t know why some of you people like them.

-California. Knows how to party. We keep it rockin, we keep it rockin.

-Peanut Butter. Yes, we really will lick anything if peanut butter is involved.

-The Couch. Yes, we sit on it when you’re not home, deal with it.

Gus Pixelmaid

-Clothes. No dog likes being dressed up. Cats love it. Dress them

-Barack Obama and Sarah Palin, 2012. Ok. I’m sorry. He went to Columbia and Harvard. She went to Hawaii Pacific, North Idaho, Matanuska-Susitna College and University of Idaho. I could get into some of her schools and I’m a dog. I don’t like partisanship but she’s an idiot and he must have busted his ass to get to Columbia.

-Cats. Seriously, if you have one, it’s thinking about ways to kill you right now.

-Tennis Balls. These are great. You should toss one to a dog for several hours a day. Exercise for you and for us. Win-win.

-Cheese. More please.

-Howard Stern. I’m glad he’s not retiring.

-Dry Food vs Wet Food. They are both pretty craptastic, but dry food tends to be better for us as long as it’s not on the cheap end of the scale. Throw in something fresh with it once in a while. And some cheese.

-Nails. Take us someplace nice for a wash and a trim once in a while.

-ESPN. My owner leaves this on all day. How do they call themselves a sports channel if they only show sports once in a while? It should be called a "People talking about sports" channel.

Gus Pixelmaid

-Licking. Yes, we lick it because we can. You would too, you know you would. You’d sniff your guests too especially the hot ones. Don’t be such a hypocrite.

-Post 6. Love it. Thanks for having me.

-Cats. Evil.

-Cheese = Love.

27 Responses to “Gus Pixelmaid — Post 6 Dog”

  1. Trinity Dejavu

    Dec 11th, 2010

    Sexy.

    Something for the dendrophiliacs next please !

  2. Jessica

    Dec 11th, 2010

    Just when I thought it didn’t get any worse than, “Whazup bitches? Here’s my fine black ass for you fappin’ freaks and dimestore analysts and libertarian crusaders and cranky bastards….” I’m proved wrong with a paragraph of barking. I read less this week than last week.

    What a relief there were no pics of doggy sex or bestiality.

    Other than the angle the pics are great.

    Gus, awesome skin.

  3. Denise

    Dec 11th, 2010

    You guys @ The Herald just scored a solid 10 on my boring score.

  4. edna

    Dec 11th, 2010

    That’s a handsome hound.

    Hear! Hear! on Stern.

    As far as us licking if we could…maybe but definitely not my own arse.

  5. Skye D.

    Dec 11th, 2010

    Handsome dog…amusing write up too! :)

  6. Pappy Enoch

    Dec 11th, 2010

    Hey Gus, if’n you needs a good leg to hump, I’ll go git Jack Linden. He’s been screwing SLers for years so now it are his turn.

  7. Dread Judge

    Dec 12th, 2010

    I concur with your assessment of Julian Assange and Sarah Palin, and I like me some cheese as well.

    Good dog.

  8. marilyn murphy

    Dec 12th, 2010

    i have no party affiliation.
    you bring up sarah palin and barack obama. did you know that way way more people have an education resembling sarah palins than the presidents? in fact, im sure that we can include all the senators, with a few exceptions. the ivy league has run the country for years and where did they take us? why not give practical normal people more of a say in government?
    when the tea partiers started making noise they were dismissed by the ivy league as astro turf. heh. discounting those of us who were not blessed with the fancy education may be the elites biggest goof. in fact, i wonder what gus’ education level and scholastic background is.
    one thing for sure, the people who plundered social security for years to fund god knows what, didn’t go to university of idaho, because someone who did, and had to handle a real budget wouldnt have done that.
    just because your pedigree is educationally robust, does not mean you have a lick of common sense. according to the record the ivy league has produced for us, its high time we gave some graduates from state universitys and real life more of a voice in our government.
    is educationally actually a word?

  9. Tux

    Dec 12th, 2010

    /me has a poodle, despite being mad he does actually make a very good pooch (except mothly bills of £ 120.00p for grooming)!

  10. Dread Judge

    Dec 12th, 2010

    Marilyn

    I am a believer in Populist movements also, but I agree with the dog here that in simply looking at the resumes of these two candidates, you have to say the scale tips in balance of the Harvard Lawyer.

    The best and the brightest students in the WORLD apply to Harvard and Columbia. (Foreign students are keeping many of our best prep schools full just to learn better English to enhance their chances at getting into Ivy League Schools).

    Last year Harvard accepted just 7% of its applicants.
    In 2009 The University of Idaho accepted 80% of its applicants.
    (US News & World Report)

    I know many people that I would consider brilliant that went to state colleges. For that matter, some of the “smartest” people I know didn’t go to college at all.

    We only have access to both of them through scripted moments these days, so we kind of have to use their resume as the basis of comparison, so here, again, I agree with the dog. If we were picking teams for something that required brains, and all I have access to is their respective colleges, I’m going to go with the Ivy Leaguer every time.

    Of the last ten presidents, though, several have been Ivy League:
    (I’m talking just undergrad here)
    Obama- (though he transferred to Columbia) Columbia
    Bush- Yale
    Clinton- Yale
    Bush- Yale

    And one could (successfully) argue that if Bush Sr. weren’t so successful and Bush Jr. were just a regular schmoe, he would not have been an Ivy Leaguer.

    So it seems like they were all Ivy leaguers, but before that:
    Ronald Reagan- Eureka College
    Jimmy Carter- United States Naval Academy
    Gerald Ford- University of Michigan
    Richard Nixon- Whittier College
    Lyndon B. Johnson- Texas State University-San Marcos
    John F. Kennedy- Harvard University

    The economy was in a similar shambles when Carter handed off to Reagan. I don’t think the college they attended had much to do with either situation, but going into 2012, I would rather have a Harvard Lawyer than a woman with a BA in journalism from Idaho if only because the Harvard Lawyer has been vetted much more thoroughly.

  11. Skye D.

    Dec 13th, 2010

    I’m with Marilyn…I’d much rather have someone with practical business management and/or accounting experience in the White House instead of yet another freakin’ lawyer.

    Oh, a little military experience would be great too. It distresses me that most of the Congress has *never* served, and yet are the ones making decisions about our troops.

    Street smart trumps book smart any day, in my opinion.

  12. Skye D.

    Dec 13th, 2010

    P.S. That said, I’m not much of a fan of Palin *or* Obama. Hell, I’m not much of a fan of anyone in power right about now.

  13. marilyn murphy

    Dec 13th, 2010

    dread judge: well said. furthermore you have info i did not have such as what president graduated from where.
    i understand that to go to columbia or yale is difficult, and that you must be a top tier scholar to attend. thats fine, i just wish when it came to politics, these guys didn’t assume they know more than i do, and that they will do my thinking for me. history tells me that government takes forever, and way more people and money, to get anything done than private industry does. you may not remember, but when the government paid for amtrak, it was supposed to pay for itself in a few years and go private. social security was supposed to pay for itself and largely did until congress in its wisdom robbed the account. the post office. i will stop belaboring this point.
    i should not single out the ivy league as responsible, i think anyone who assumes office finds out that they are a bit limited by a system of governance that won’t allow real budget cuts and real reform. the lovely compromise to keep the taxes low and extend unemployment recently is so like some caricature of business as usual, it resembles something snl might script. hey, we saved a lot of taxes and extended unemployment and it will only cost 900 billion dollars.
    then the pols clap each other on the back and explain to the breathless masses how great this deal is. ugh.
    i agree with you also skye. it would be nice to see someone who actually has management and business experience running the show. maybe donald trump is not such a strange idea.
    well, thats all i have to say, ty and good night.

  14. Horton Hoonoo

    Dec 13th, 2010

    Presidential Fun Fact

    The US has had exactly ONE president who had an advanced degree in Business (MBA).

    George Bush Jr., whose presidency was brought to you by Big Oil.

    So much for that idea.

    But it really doesn’t matter.
    Politicians haven’t run the US country since the 1960s. It is run by the lobbyists by special interest groups, who buy our politicians by donating to their re-election coffers and personal foundations. This is not fiction or paranoia, it’s truth. Tea Party, Republican, Democrat, they’re all whores in nice suits. Even if they arrive honest, they leave rich.

    The US is run by corporations whose only concern is Profit and Public Relations to keep us consumers consuming. Fortunately for them, the US makes good movies and television shows and has decent broadband internet to keep its public entertained and not angry and protesting in the streets.

    Presidential Fun Fact #2
    It will get worse in the future. Obama swore he’d bring us transparency and has failed because the machine won’t let him. This is not paranoia.

    Ok, that wasn’t a fun fact, so here you go:
    The “S” in Harry S. Truman’s name isn’t short for anything, it was just an S.

  15. Horton Hoonoo

    Dec 13th, 2010

    Just because it happened to fit exactly what I was sayin’ they published this on the front Page of USA Today today: I love it when the internet gods back me up:

    7 incoming GOP leaders rode wave of PAC gifts into power

    WASHINGTON — Incoming House Republican chairmen raked in hundreds of thousands of dollars from special-interest groups shortly before the November election, as it became apparent their party would take over, a USA TODAY analysis of new campaign-finance reports shows.

    Starting on Oct. 1, political action committees (PACs) pumped nearly $1.2 million into the campaign accounts of lawmakers who are slated to take over seven key panels in January, ranging from committees guiding tax policy to the energy and commerce panel that will oversee implementation of President Obama’s new health care law and weigh climate-change legislation.

    Overall, the chairmen took in $7.8 million in PAC money from Jan. 1, 2009, through Nov. 22, 2010, a more-than-40% jump over the entire 2008 election cycle.

    PACs distribute contributions on behalf of companies, labor unions and others with common economic interests.

    http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/2010-12-13-RWchairmenmoney12_ST_N.htm

  16. IntLibber

    Dec 14th, 2010

    Horton,

    One man’s “Special Interest” is another man’s public interest, and vice versa. Democrats claim corps are special interests but unions are not. GOP says environmental groups are special interests but the NRA is not. All of that is bullshit. Either ban all groups from donating or allow them all to donate. Anything else is partisan discrimination.

    There would be no motive for powerful groups to donate if we didn’t allow the government to concentrate so much power in one location. The government of today isn’t the sort of government the founders wanted or made. It’s now a fasco-socialist behemoth of power to regulate, tax, and police with thugs. Such concentrations of power follow Acton’s Law, that power corrupts, and its corrolary, that power attracts the corruptible.

    You and your parents made it this way, eat your own dogfood or clean the kennel.

    As for the debate over the educations of the Presidents: Ronald Reagan went to pissant Eureka College, which is about as podunk as anything Sarah Palin attended. He was 10 times better as a president than anybody else in the 20th century.

    You can’t judge Obama on his education either. He was admitted to the schools he went to on a “let every black guy in” affirmative action program (so claiming he was a winner in some exclusive lotto is false), and he refuses to make public his grades, and, from his own admission, he was at least as much of a druggie in college as Bush Jr was.

    If Julian Assange really wants transparency in government, let him leak Obama’s grades.

  17. Dread Judge

    Dec 14th, 2010

    @Intlibber said:

    [Ronald Reagan] was 10 times better as a president than anybody else in the 20th century.

    Please elucidate us on how this is true.

    I am particularly interested in hearing how his defense spending policies juxtapose with your apparent distaste for big government, and how you might explain that many economists believe that his “trickle down” economics policy, combined with his love of deregulation, led to not only the 1987 stock market crash but also the Savings and Loan crisis, which by itself cost the US taxpayers hundreds of billions. I believe many detractors also credit his deregulation and apparent disinterest in things like the environment and AIDS as contributing to current climate crisis and hundreds of thousands of deaths in the US alone. I understand that a lot of people were pretty jazzed about the collapse of the Soviet Regime around the time of Reagan, and many give his massive defense spending programs, especially on boondoggles like SDI, all the credit, but surely an intelligent man such as yourself would see through that as there were many factors that led to the collapse of the Soviets. Oh, I would also like to know how you feel about his administration’s hypocrisy with regard to their “we don’t deal with terrorists” and then violating the Boland Amendment by selling arms to the people we are now fighting in Afghanistan. Oh, and a lot of people said he was racist because back in the 1960s he wasn’t too keen on Civil Rights.

    I was just curious about that because we had some pretty good presidents in the 20th Century. Eisenhower and Kennedy inspired, Clinton fixed our finances, Teddy Roosevelt and WH Taft took on big business and if the world had listened to Woodrow Wilson, they might have avoided WWII, which FDR steered us through along with the Great Depression. (Which, I should add, was deepened by an economic policy almost identical to Reagan’s).

    Looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks.

  18. marilyn murphy

    Dec 14th, 2010

    well. gus, look what u started. i have to say, i am liking this thread. and i can blame gus for it being political. i agree with everyone here on some point or other. president gerald ford was our finest president. he didn’t do anything extraordinarily dangerous and he gave us the WIN button. lets bring that little idea back.

  19. Senban Babii

    Dec 14th, 2010

    I remember when Post 6 was all about trolling the model about their wonky boobs and freebie skins.

    When will this cycle of intelligent political debate end?

  20. Horton Hoonoo

    Dec 14th, 2010

    Leave it to a cat-hating dog to get humans worked up.

    @ IntLibber

    Really? Obama’s grades? OMFG what will you want next, inseam? Television viewing habits age 8-12?
    People screamed for his birth certificate and now they want his grades? This smacks of the “prove the negative assertion I make is wrong” crap that Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh and the people who believe them pass off as intellectual debate, whose foolishness was highlighted by the case Beck v. Eiland-Hall over the website
    GlennBeckRapedandMurderedaYoungGirlin1990.com

    When you understand something besides “Gotcha!” politics, come back and try to sit at the grown-up table again.

    Your affirmative action statement is just racist. While it’s too early in the discussion to invoke Godwin’s Law, I will guess that you would be great at making all the trains run on time.

  21. Persephone Bolero

    Dec 14th, 2010

    @Dread “I am particularly interested in hearing how his defense spending policies juxtapose with your apparent distaste for big government,”

    Allow me to interject here…Reagan was not a deregulator or defender of small government. Like both Bushes, he only gave it lip service. And it’s simple to illustrate this. Under Reagan, spending rose 22 percent (adjusted for inflation) and the government debt tripled. So, really, he didn’t deregulate. He just regulated in favor of a different set of special interests, like all big government conservatives. When you change the rules of an unfree market, as opposed to actually creating economic liberty, you only create economic opportunities for the wealthy and politically connected, since they will ultimately write what those rules are.

    So, Reagan may have been anti-union and took away a rule here and there, but ultimately, he only served corporate cronyism, which is the “free market” we have today. Likewise, Reagan was all for small government until an adult wanted to consume an intoxicating substance he didn’t think they should. So, he greatly inflated a massive and expensive war on drugs, which is a big government operation of police running around telling adults, “Don’t put that in your mouth!”

    Reagan had no small government principles that guided his policies. When he wanted to eliminate individual choices he didn’t agree with, he expanded government as quickly as any liberal would. So, it’s not surprising that his policies preceded (though not necessarily directly or exclusively caused) the economic troubles and scandals of his time.

    I can’t imagine why IntLibber or any small government proponent would defend him. But I and many small “l” libertarians do not, and never will.

  22. Free Obama's Grades

    Dec 14th, 2010

    Obama graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard Law, and made Law Review* while there. Fact.

    So, even if he got in because of Affirmative Action (which I’m not saying he did) it looks like the program worked because uh, he did really well and then went on to be President. It’s the sort of stuff that becomes one of those old uplifting Disney movies.

    Just sayin’

    *really hard to do

  23. Gus Pixelmaid

    Dec 15th, 2010

    I don’t want to chime in here and ruin a good debate, but I do want to thank all the people that said something nice about me. Happy Holidays and pass the cheese. :-)

  24. IntLibber

    Dec 15th, 2010

    Horton,
    You liberals made a big to-do about Bush’s C grades at Yale as if a C at Yale defines a retard. In recent history, we see republicans either have to make their entire life an open book or else they are secretly evil arch-villains or something if they hide the smallest thing, and if anything bad does come out they are vilified in the press, yet a Democrat is allowed to hide illegal alien nannys, unpaid income taxes, past drug use, sexual infidelity, misuse of government funds, illegal fundraising, hiding undeclared cash in the freezer, voting fraud, having undeclared real estate property and income, not release their tax records, not release their college transcripts, not release their military records or whether or not they actually are validly natural born citizens, and if anybody calls them on any of that, they are a mean bastard. Sorry, the double standard is bullshit, and you can rant at me all you want, you are still a hypocritical asshat.

    Persephone,
    By no means am I saying Reagan was any kind of libertarian, and yes, he gave lip service to a lot of conservative and libertarian ideas. What still puts him head and shoulders above the rest of the 20th century (except MAYBE Calvin Coolidge), is that he actually talked the talk of libertarianism and conservatism, even if he didn’t always walk the walk. That is still 10 times better than the rest of the 20th century presidents (except, again, for Cal) who were 100% empire building big government bastards who talked the talk and walked the walk of big government socialism and job-strangling overregulation.

    Free Obama’s Grades,
    Making magna cum laude at Harvard isn’t that hard once you are accepted. Harvard is notorious for grade inflation, something like 75% of the student body gets straight A’s cause the professors figure that if the student is at Harvard, they must deserve those grades, and if they don’t give them good grades, the student is more likely to sue them than study harder. Oh, and affirmative action at Harvard is a lot more than just an admission policy, it also applies to their grading policy too. A decade ago some Harvard students got in trouble because they illustrated this fact with a bake sale, scaling the prices of cookies based on the official Harvard rules for admission standards and grading based on race: Blacks paid $0.50 for a cookie, whites paid $1.00, and asians paid $1.10.
    This isn’t me being racist, this is a fact about Harvard. You can’t be racist for stating facts.

  25. see?grades!

    Dec 15th, 2010

    I agree fully with Intlibber on this, Yale c grades do not make bush jr a retard. They have nothing to do with it. I only from Intlibbers post above learned about his grades, yet ive known Bush was a retard since he gave his hilarious “putting food on our children ” speech.

  26. Dread Judge

    Dec 15th, 2010

    IntLibber

    You didn’t really answer my question with anything specific about what made Reagan 10x better than all the Presidents in the 20th Century. Based on your style of arguing I can say anyone is the greatest thing ever and then just spew random venom over the rest of the field and call that good? With that then I say that Sen. Larry Craig was the greatest Senator in World History because he tapped his toes very well and all the rest of them were just posers. Is that how it works?

    I try to stay out of partisan arguments because history ebbs and flows, but I will personally hate Reagan for a very long time because his inclusion of the Christian Coalition’s ideals as part of the Republican platform was a cynical use of religion to get votes and a violation of the principles of the US Constitution.

    As for the rest of your diatribe:
    illegal alien nannies- There have been so many of these scandals on both sides of the aisle it amazes me you brought this up. My favorite of recent memory is incumbent and outgoing Governor Jim Gibbons (R) of Nevada, who in addition to a nanny scandal, plagiarized a copyrighted speech, and is facing both sexual assault charges and is being investigated for bribery.

    Income Tax- Again, there are so many on both sides here:
    Charles Rangel (D-NY) seems the most obvious, but you might also be referring to Ted Stevens Senator (R-AK) convicted on seven counts of bribery and tax evasion October 27, 2008 just prior to the election.

    Past Drug Use- I think Obama admitted to it, and said he inhaled, “that was the point” he said. Clinton admitted to it, but didn’t inhale. Bush sidestepped the issue but there are so many rumors of his love of cocaine in the 1980s it seems like there is too much smoke for there not to be a fire there. Anyway, of the last three Presidents, he’s the only one that didn’t address this so I’m not sure what you mean.

    Ok, so looking at your list, I could go on and on and on pointing to the foibles of both parties. Certainly we agree that many Politicians are scum in any party. I think the thing that you’re missing here is that a lot of people are especially offended by the fact that Republicans, due to their close ties with the Religious Right, tend to hold themselves up as purer of soul than Democrats. Their falls should be harder because they hold themselves up on a higher pedestal.

    For example, if it turns out that Sarah Palin’s youngest child is actually her daughter’s child and there is a LOT of circumstantial evidence to suggest that this is the case, (and speaking of Birth Cerificates, go try to find Trig’s), it should effectively end her career because much of what she purports to be about is truth, justice, family values and all that.

    For example again, I don’t think there’s a person alive who would say John Edwards isn’t a scumbag. I wouldn’t have voted for him before his scandal, and I hope someone slaps him if he runs for anything again (no doubt he will, humbled) and tries to run on “family values.” Newt Gingrich, who also had an affair while his wife was battling cancer, has popped back into the spotlight and is hinting at a presidential run. The whole Republican Party, thanks to your man Reagan, is about family values. If you cared about your party you would become active in it and make sure that scum like him do not run. It is an embarrassment of American complacency that we put up with such things.

    If you want to beat the horse, here’s a list. It’s not authoritative because it’s wikipedia, but it gives you a pretty good idea.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_scandals_of_the_United_States

    As for the “it’s easy to be magna cum laude in Harvard Law” don’t be stupid. It’s a title given to less than 10% of the graduates, and those are some pretty smart people in the queue. So even if grades are inflated across the board, his were good. Law Review IS the harder of the two to achieve, actually. Your concerns over affirmative action in schools is, I believe, being heard by the Supreme Court, by the way, so your fears of educated negros or whatever your issue is will soon be decided.

    The kicker here is that I’m a registered Republican, by the way.

  27. Scooby Doo

    Dec 20th, 2010

    “Woof. Woof errff Gus. Burp. Woof woof woof rrrrrrrrrr mmmmph. Woof woof woof woof woof woof rrrrrp! Glrp? Ruff ruff errf ? Woof Woof. Hrmmm? Arf gr woof arf woof Ginger Rarf arf arf! Hmbrger mmph garph arf woof erf. Grph hmmm gurff woof arrrrrrarrrrrarrrrrpph!”

    Rare rou rying ro rake re riss? Re ron’t ralk rike rat!

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