Linden, do not harm

by Alphaville Herald on 13/12/10 at 12:42 pm

How Linden Lab’s good intentions turn into public wrath

by Mony Markova

How is it that good ideas turn into complicated and alienating actions that keep Second Life client base perplexed?

To find out, a brave group of concerned citizens managed to place a bug into one of the many LL meetings, and this is how the destiny of the Second Life users is shaped into a rewarding experience. The following happened a few days back and started in a traditional early week meeting on a Wednesday noon. Names of employees have been changed.

Linden 1: Good morning everyone…. Anyways, what’s on the cooking pot today Linden 2?

Linden 2: Oh well Linden 1 we have this, and I should say great idea of how to help make the
noobies, more comfortable, more at home.

Linden 1: Cool! Great job! What is it about?

Linden 2: To give them the option to show a different names to their account names.

Linden 1: Mmmmhjum, go on, go on.

Linden 4: This way they can correct their names like “Thomas24252 Marooned”, you know the numbered ones?

Linden 3: Or if they used lower cap by mistake ya’know “druggie78 Ballokiard” they can mend that too.

Linden 1: I see… Those names certainly are a cause of shame to many of them and what else? And not only the noobies!

Linden 2: The team working on this idea feels this will greatly help the new population mingle easier, and be happier, and feel less threatened in their personas, you ‘know in comparison to the veterans.

Linden 1: I hate when you use “veterans”, number 2, to describe that mob of ingrates…. we are the true veterans here, remember that.

Linden 2: Yes of course.

Linden 4: And Linden 1, the opportunities are endless…

Linden 6 and Linden 8: Yes! Imagine the uses for role play, to be someone one week and to change it to pro-stuff for classes later and such and such and such!

Lindens 1 to Linden 22: Yaaaay, whooho, ROCK OUT! –[continued cheering edited for space reasons].

Linden 1: Good work everybody! Yes, thinking of the main source of value to our organization, excellent thinking well focused… dang I am so proud!

Linden 5: So there is no more need for surnames?

Linden 1: Of course!

Linden 6: …but… what about the surnames of the veterans?

Linden 5: Oh, shoot! You are right Linden 6, that’s something.

Linden 7: But that does not matter, is just an option… an option! Everyone can keep their surnames, and also why are we talking of giving to the same surname, is not meant like that!

Linden 2: Sir don’t forget your visit to the High Tower Sim, is to be started any minute

Linden 1: Oh Yes I love High Tower Sim, you guys go figure it out, doing a great job, go on. Number 2 walk with me when this is over.

Linden 13: Well… if we want “a” and “b” is the problem… why don’t we subtract “b” from the whole equation and that is it!

Linden 1: Hey brilliant 13! So call them all whatever they want and same surname for all!

Linden 2: Protagonist?

Linden 1: No that’s been taken. What are they? What are they? Think Number 2

Linden 2: residents?

Linden 1: Exactly number 2! Residents! They all can be named “whatever Residents”. Yes exactly, I like it. Get in rhythm number 2, learn from this team, and make me proud, y’all

Linden 7: Linden 1, some people really like their surnames, polls show they care for them.

Linden 1: Polls? Oh come ‘on! Like it was their real family name! It’s a gameeeee! … I mean, it’s a game for them, or should be at least!

Linden 12: With all due respect… is not a game, I am real, I have feelings…

Linden 1: Lord not that! We will continue that other time, on next meeting or something… also use a power point you people, it gives structure to your ideas. Okay, go on with this. Do exactly as you planned, exactly you hear me… Just give them all the same surname, Resident, is fine by me and toss the surnames of the “veeteerans”. That will make the noobies feel welcome and mingle, and hopefully getting into using real cash into this. Okay I am gone now. Thank you for good work well thought everybody.

30 Responses to “Linden, do not harm”

  1. Just Me

    Dec 13th, 2010




  2. Pappy Enoch

    Dec 13th, 2010

    @Just Me, you am right, but on the Titanic they didn’t charge folks for drinks at the bar when the water came up.

  3. Darien Caldwell

    Dec 13th, 2010

    Only new signups get last name of Resident. Oldbies keep their surnames in perpetuity. (which means forever)

  4. Persephone Bolero

    Dec 13th, 2010


    This is a silly comparison. Those who were on the sinking Titanic couldn’t just log off or log on to another ship. So, your analogy…holds no water.

    You’re not stuck on a sinking ship where they charge for drinks at the bar. You’re choosing to go to the bar and buy drinks, where you meet some arguably unsatisfying service. But you can leave any time. So, while the analogy sinking ship with the arranged deck chairs is a pretty good one, yours, Pappy, is just ridiculous.

  5. Tarrah Egregor

    Dec 13th, 2010

    Second Life? What’s that? I’m playing Minecraft! Wheeee!

  6. Horton Hoonoo

    Dec 13th, 2010

    I liked this one better:

    Especially since the Lindens released the new 2.4 viewer with the display name feature like the very day after Justine’s story ran. (I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence).

    Nice try tho, Mony!

    While we’re on to quoting movies:

    This here blog is five miles out of Pappy’s usual route, so by the time he delivers the mail here he’s good and liquored up and mean. I wouldn’t do nothing ‘cept be sure he doesn’t run you down when he goes flying by in his pick em up truck.

  7. edna

    Dec 13th, 2010

    “Only new signups get last name of Resident. Oldbies keep their surnames in perpetuity. (which means forever)”

    Or Linden Lab goes belly up. Whichever comes first.

  8. Just Me

    Dec 13th, 2010

    Is there any real reason why the Lindens insist on working on things that no one wants or has asked for, while ignoring “residents” (pun intended) requests? For example, how hard would it be to increase the number of groups from 25 to 50 ? That’s been a request for years and years, and it’s something many people would welcome. But, do they actually ever DO it? noooooooooooooooooooooo

  9. edna

    Dec 13th, 2010

    @Just Me

    I started in Second Life in 2005. You know what one of the hottest topics was back then, nearly six years ago? Expanding the number of groups. Clearly LL has no intention of ever doing anything with this. They aren’t ignoring the topic after this many years, they simply made up their mind long ago that it will stay at 25.

  10. Pappy Enoch

    Dec 14th, 2010

    @Persephonopoly who done writ,

    “So, while the analogy sinking ship with the arranged deck chairs is a pretty good one, yours, Pappy, is just ridiculous.”

    Yep. You got me cold but I cain’t resist. I are rite good at ridiculous stuff. Comes wif drinkin’ too much.

    I cain’t leave SL. I are just like one o’ them looky-looks who done stayed on the Titanic when the ship hit that-thar icebug just to see what the Sam Hill were happenin’ and then said “oh oh” just before his mouth went under.

    In the future, fake worlds am all a-gonna be serious bizness tied to that-thar FaceBook thing and they won’t be no room for fake hillbillies, hobos, fuzzy-wuzz furries, Gor slave-gals who am 400lb fat men, or Prokofy Neva.

    Well, it won’t be all bad, then :)

    Anysohow, I plans to go down wif a drink in both hands.

  11. Kinoko

    Dec 14th, 2010

    The biggest problem with Second Life isn’t really just Linden Lab, it’s the community, and what certain groups do allowing copybots in their groups, and giving around of stolen content. People who take SL too seriously that they have to lie to their friends, brainwash their best buddies, and drag down an entire groups reputation because they are only 300 or less days old, and are newbs to sl inviting other newbs.

    Also the sandboxes, and PN griefing them constantly driving people away all the time. This again is the community of SL, not Linden Lab’s fault, we can’t expect LL to wipe our asses for us.

    Really I don’t know what to say but when I started SL it was really great, but now the community of SL, and followers of evil doer’s are just taking a dump. I can say for a fact that there is not one Copybotter I know of, or content theft wearing person on any of my sims, groups, or militaries, if they are caught they are warned, and refusing to respect the rules, and be nice they are gone. I remember when NOR was once 32+ Regions, and BloodLines was actually decent, but now all it is really is inviting newbie copybotters or n00bs giving away stolen content constantly to people, and group leaders who do nothing about it, when its their group and on their land its their responsibility. Honestly if I had the scripting knowledge, or control over an RP system, I would Ban any player, and all players participating in these type of activities from ever using the system again as long as it was done knowingly, or they just didn’t care.

    SL needs to be cleaned up and fast because the last 3 days in sandbox gougen = Big Ouch.

  12. At0m0 Beerbaum

    Dec 14th, 2010

    the biggest problem with SL is the fact life’s social rejects are trying to control other social rejects.

  13. hobo kelly

    Dec 14th, 2010

    Linden 1: “Ok you grunters, grunt me a grunty grunt what I can grunt all over that thar big grunt pile called second life so that it will die under the weight of its own grunt and we can finally close these grunty doors and go home and take a real good grunt and call it a Job Well Done…”

    Linden 2: “ah, how about those grunty Display Names, they will grunt things up really good really fast, grunt grunt grunt…”

  14. Ella Keng

    Dec 14th, 2010

    Just to add…the name ‘Resident’ has disappeared, or so I am told, on the new version of Phoenix. New residents are now just being left with a single name. Which is all fine and dandy until a second person called ‘John’ or ‘Bob’ signs up.

    And then we’re back to Jonh321 and Bob45327.

    As many of us (myself included) signed up with our own, real Christian names, or diminutions of it, it looks as though we’re going to end up with a bunch of John321′s, whereas pre-set surnames meant that we could have 100-200-300 Johns or Bobs or Ellas prior to that Christian name being exhausted.

    Was this ‘fantastic new development’ properly thought through?

    I’m also informed that signing up with a Christian name and surname in the Christian name box led to being a player named ChristianSurname Resident, for example. As the name ‘Resident’ would appear to be disappearing, that would leave new players with just their ChristianSurname. So I wonder how long it will be until I bump into ElvisPresley or BarackObama on the grid?

  15. Van

    Dec 14th, 2010

    What happens if you meet someone really important and want to contact it later? Confusing….

  16. Senban Babii

    Dec 14th, 2010

    Actually that’s an interesting point. Do these new people show up on your friends list as alice123 Resident and bob456 Resident? I guess they must do because showing up as their display name wouldn’t be much use.

    So, I get to know Darth Dingbat and like him so I add him to my friends list but the name that actually shows up is eric24 Resident? Exactly how do I know who the frack is who on my friends list?

    Luckily I’m an anti-social cow who almost never adds people anyway. I don’t think my feeble kitteh brain could handle the confusion of having friends in SL \8

  17. Dread Judge

    Dec 14th, 2010

    No, they show up in your friends list as their display name.

    I have a bunch of people in my friends list now who have obviously adopted a display name because I have no idea who they are.

    As in when I friended they were Joe Smith, but now they are listed simply as Hammertime.

    This will be a grade A clusterpuck. Getcher popcorn.

  18. Marx Dudek

    Dec 15th, 2010

    Pull up their profile. It will show their account name and their display name.

    Of course, you have to be inworld to do this. If you’re checking your friends list on the dashboard, you’re out of luck.

  19. IntLibber

    Dec 15th, 2010

    Ms. Keng,
    It’s called a name or first name, not a christian name. Only christian bigots call it that. Or are you claiming Jakob Cohen has a christian name?

  20. Van

    Dec 15th, 2010

    What if you crashed before adding friends or something? Can you do a search on their display names and get back in touch? Of course “crashing” long shot, silly me.

  21. Senban Babii

    Dec 15th, 2010

    @Dread Judge

    “No, they show up in your friends list as their display name.

    I have a bunch of people in my friends list now who have obviously adopted a display name because I have no idea who they are.

    As in when I friended they were Joe Smith, but now they are listed simply as Hammertime.”

    You have to be kidding? Seriously? This actually has to be one of the dumbest decisions ever. The friends list is now just about worthless, wouldn’t you agree?

    I haven’t seen this for myself yet so I’ll log in later and befriend some random n00b. Craziness.

  22. IntLibber

    Dec 15th, 2010

    I see this sort of stupidity on Skype too, Senban, theres, lets see the latest people I have no idea who they are:
    Dat Toph
    Insert Garbage Here <—
    Nuclear Pudding
    Spankety Spankety
    Egg Consuming Criminal Bastard From Hell

    (if any of you are herald readers, give a shout out.)

  23. Ella Keng

    Dec 15th, 2010

    ‘Ms. Keng,
    It’s called a name or first name, not a christian name. Only christian bigots call it that. Or are you claiming Jakob Cohen has a christian name?’

    Yes, well….I’m not sure I need lessons in pedantry from someone who has broad-brushstroked all Christians as bigots.

  24. Ella Keng

    Dec 15th, 2010

    ‘What happens if you meet someone really important ‘

    The inworld marriage* would’ve been annulled in about six weeks anyway, so consider it a LL service to save you from heartbreak.

    *partnership, for whom the political correctness is apparently important ;)

  25. hobo kelly

    Dec 15th, 2010

    wellsum, I reckon the only reason I can think of ta ‘splain what that thar Linduns are doin to us what with this here Display name stuff, is, think fer a moment about multiple grids where you all are forced to signin with different Usernames cuz they are different grids with different naming conventions, i reckon, but iffen they all had that thar new Display name feature, wellsum then a person could keep their same name on every different grid or world that they go to…

    Kinda like virtualizing the username. But why are they doing it now? Is something happening that they arent telling us about?
    Is this how they are going to get their worlds to finally ‘scale’?
    By breaking them up so the asset servers can be managed
    and having a Display name will ensure that you are known the
    same way across the whole land even though you might have 3 usernames?
    Breaking up second life? hmm thar thar just sum wild thinkin I reckon…

  26. Yordie Sands

    Dec 15th, 2010

    Sorry it took so long for me to reply, had to call ralph.

    I have used the feature for my hyphenated married name, and while it’s kind of nice to do that… this Linden idea is so bad I just can’t believe there is anyone in that org who things anything thru.

  27. Van

    Dec 15th, 2010

    Odd effect that new feature will mess “friends” list, I bet they did not see that one coming!

  28. Intdribbler Ignoramus

    Dec 16th, 2010

    @ IntLibber -> It’s called a “label”, you semiotic bigot. Geez, get with the post-structuralist programme, dude.

  29. brinda allen

    Dec 16th, 2010

    @IntLibber… would seem to be spot on. For the life of me I’ve never understood why a minority religion would seem to try and run so much. I dont have a christian name… I’m a practising Buddhist… but I don’t have a Buddhist name either.

    The display name fiasco… I recently blogged that I’m beginning to wonder if there really is anyone in charge at Linden Lab. The total lack of any single responsable individual would explain so much.

  30. Van

    Dec 18th, 2010

    Like Linden 7 said perhaps in desperation…. “But that does not matter, is just an option… an option! Everyone can keep their surnames, and also why are we talking of giving to the same surname, is not meant like that!”…

    Actually it’s the IT people, classic example of an idea or concept getting all messed up towards it’s execution. THINK OF THE CLIENTS DUMBERS!!!!!!

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