Adoption in Second Life

by Alphaville Herald on 24/01/11 at 12:46 pm

Part the First: Justine gets judgmental

by Justine Babii

Justine pregnantfriend
Justine and a pregnant friend

A friend of mine is pregnant in SL. I popped in to see her this morning and “Surprise!” she has an adorable little baby bump on her avie.

Now, immediately I started grilling her, because this is a normally sensible woman, and I’ve always wondered why on earth someone would want to put their pixilated self through something like that. I was relieved at the answers.

-No, she’s not wearing one of those talking bellies.

-Yes, she made her shape herself and will change it whenever she damn well pleases.

-No, she’s not planning on adopting an SL kid, or buying a prim baby.

It turns out that she and her SL husband have constructed an elaborate roleplay world and this pregnancy is part of it. She wears the “slightly showing” shape when she wants, and goes back to normal shape when she doesn’t. This, to me, sounded exactly what SL was made for, and I once again cursed her for being happily SL married, and for having what might be the most gorgeous avatar I’ve ever seen, and for being sexier than I am even while visibly pregnant.

Adoption Palace
an adoption palace

(This is one of the friends with whom I can no longer go to clubs, because she gets tied up with IM’s from people hitting on her while my IM screen is more of a “gas gauge empty, listen to the crickets chirp” sort of vibe. I would hazard a guess that this would be the case even were we to go while she’s pregnant. FML).

So, once she had allayed my fears- that my friend would not soon be walking around sims with her giant talking belly announcing random things to strangers, I got to thinking about SL pregnant women, and SL married women, and SL families in general, and thus was born this series of articles on SL families- from pregnancies to prim babies, adoptions and beyond.

Being a good investigative reporter, I decided to take my friend to an adoption agency to see if there is in fact anything interesting here. The first one in search was completely empty. The second was a gold mine. I will spare you the details of the place for now, as I hope to profile this particular agency in an upcoming story, but let me just say that I was astounded by the size of the place (64,288 sq.m), the traffic (33,713) and the number of avatars present when we landed. Adoption is a business in SL, and business is good.

Bigasses
Second Life adoption correlates with enormous asses

I was also astounded by the number of female avatars with enormous derrieres. I don’t understand the correlation between adoption and having a LOT of junk in the trunk, but clearly there is one, because when we landed there were, not including us, six “grown-up” avatars on the premises and three of them, pictured here, had enormous asses. These three ladies did not appear to be together, by the way. When I saw that I knew that my adoption in SL story had grown into a full fledged mini-series.

Before wrapping up this first installment of the Adoption in SL series, let me note that my “everyone else is getting hit on but I’m hearing crickets” clubbing experience phenomenon lived on at the adoption agency, as my pregnant friend was swarmed by little kid avatars hoping to get adopted by the beautiful woman. I got exactly 0 IMs. FML.

25 Responses to “Adoption in Second Life”

  1. Pappy Enoch

    Jan 24th, 2011

    Don’t send me no more prim babies. I still gots me a warehouse full o’ them little nippers. If’n you needs one just send me an IM. I reckon I can spare a few.

    I ain’t got no theory about how them fake gals got them such jargantic sittin-spots. 50% ain’t so bad, nohow.

    Now in Enoch Holler gittin’ a large butt come from eatin’ too many Ho-Hos, Ding-Dongs, Jolly Ranchers, and so forth. But there ain’t no good food like that in SL, so it must be a optical delusion in Miss Justine’s viewer, or maybe them three gals am Brazilian–they do gots some back on them what make for a smooth ride when a feller wants to git real knotty.

  2. Darien Caldwell

    Jan 24th, 2011

    I’ve always sincerely hoped that the people who make these ‘enormous asses’ just have really bad monitors with the aspect ratio way off. So that maybe that looks ‘right’ on their screen.

    At least that’s the little lie I tell myself so I can sleep at night…

  3. hobo kelly

    Jan 24th, 2011

    the world is so doomed…..

  4. Emperor Norton hears a who?

    Jan 24th, 2011

    Darien Caldwell @ “I’ve always sincerely hoped that the people who make these ‘enormous asses’ just have really bad monitors with the aspect ratio way off. So that maybe that looks ‘right’ on their screen.”

    Praise the game gods they can’t sit on anyone with those behinds by accident. The body count would be outrageous and this game loses enough people as it without a booty count.

  5. Pappy Enoch

    Jan 24th, 2011

    @Emperor,

    You gots it all, if’n I mite use me a term, back-asswards.

    I reckon sittin’ on folks and crushin’ em flat as fritters might bring in mo’ folks to the fake world!

    Don’t you recollect that-there Donkey Dong game where them two I-talian fellers were dodgin’ pianos and bananna peels and atomic bums and whatnot? I ran out o’ quarters many a nite at Enoch Holler Pizza Palace and Hardware Store and Funeral Parlor playin’ it, and had to rob kids to git money to keep pretending I were one o’ them Marios.

    It were what them smart folks calls “immersive entertainment.”

    Heck, if’n ol’ King Rod plans on makin’ SL into a game, we needs more slapstick I reckons. Bring on them butts I says.

  6. Pappy Enoch

    Jan 24th, 2011

    Dang HTML tags. How can a drunk feller tell when to turn ‘em off?

  7. General Drama

    Jan 24th, 2011

    Pappy,
    You’re just PO’d that its so easy for the wimminz to git in a fambly way in SL, even using a pregnancy hud that lets them make any random avatar they jiggle their fat asses on by the pappy without their cont-sent. Heck, I wouldn’t be sprized at all if those things let you make two wimminz the mommy and the daddy. But you are just worried that those fat assed booty-mommas are having yo’ babies without tellin you you’re the baby-daddy until its time to start suin’ for child support….

  8. Miss J

    Jan 25th, 2011

    The large woman bearing hips are more realistic than just a straight narrowed body. I suppose the hips just show they embrace their curves.

  9. Pappy Enoch

    Jan 25th, 2011

    Oh, General, don’t tell me ’bout supportin’ them chirren. Them fat-bottom gals am alreddy after poor me.

    I logged on the other day and some gal up and IMed me:

    “Pappy, will you knock me up?”

    “Sho’ will, hunny-bunny,” I says, and I give her a prim baby out’n my warehouse.

    “Now I can get some child support!” Says she.

    I only got me 4L in the piggy bank, these days, so I give her the slip. But you know them gals. They’d skin an onion for a few cents….oh poor forlorn me.

  10. D.F.

    Jan 25th, 2011

    General Drama, if you are referring to the Mama allpa HUD by “pregnancy hud that lets them make any random avatar they jiggle their fat asses on by the pappy without their cont-sent” then you have a better look at their website explaining it and how it works.

    There definately is consent needed, the father to be even has to have the male part of that HUD.

    And Justine, being judgemental doesnt suit anyone, not you either. So what of people choose this for their SL? Isnt this game whatever individual players wish it to be? I personally dont like talking pregnant bellies either, but there’s always the option to mute.

    There’s always going to be things in SL that some people like, and others dont. Just like real life. You can either waste your time fussing about other people’s choices, which you dont really have anythig to do with in the first place, or you can just mind your own buisiness and waste time doing what you like.

    PS. Your face looks rather… how shall I put it? young. Could just be that picture, but might very well be the issue there.

  11. Tux

    Jan 26th, 2011

    As one who believes SL is a game, I really don’t care what people do.

    That said, I actually think this is wrong. Pregnancy, babies, kids etc etc. Why? Simple really, I am forever hearing people bawwing about how SL isn’t a game. So these people create their ponsey model looking AV’s, get in a long distance relationships with people they don’t even really know the gender of. Spent nights of self intimacy (fapping to IM text). Then having prim babies.

    Now the problem is this: These people think this is real and not a game. So their idea of having children is being able to log out and forget them for varying amounts of time. I can honestly say, from experience, this is not the case. The little bar stewards require attention at all hours. Including times when you are logged off!

    It doesn’t end there. Then they feel it time to adopt a kiddie AV. Treat them like toddlers and become emotionally tied to it. When it is really an adult (or teen now) who is also of unkown gender. So there you have it, lonely George spends his nights fapping to IM’s with his wife Steven, whilst trying not to make too much noise so he doesn’t wake his daughter Richard (who is in RL Stevens uncle). Remember this is NOT a game, right?

  12. Edna

    Jan 26th, 2011

    Surely you’ve heard the term “ass baby”? It is likely that you ran into women pregnant with ass babies who where checking out the place as a possible solution for adopting out their expected arrivals.

  13. Emperor Norton hears a who?

    Jan 26th, 2011

    Tux @ “As one who believes SL is a game, I really don’t care what people do.

    That said, I actually think this is wrong. Pregnancy, babies, kids etc etc. Why,..”

    Tux,

    The Irony Moose has just has stepped on your head. You do realize you had this conversation before when you were nine and watching your sister and her friends play with dolls?

  14. Tux

    Jan 26th, 2011

    @ Emperor – erm, no, flawed comparason because those are children who are playing and openly say the are playing a game with their dolly. As opposed to adults who become infuriated whenever the term game is even implied. So therefore they themselves admit they are not playing a game with their dolly!

    I wrote a code snippet for you, to make it easier to understand:

    if(avatar_real_life_age <= 16)
    {
    avatar = "child";
    object_of_affection = "toy dolly";
    action = "game";
    // — Begin rejection script
    llOwnerSay("Unfortunately you are a child and to young to play Second Life™.");
    llOwnerSay("Please log out now.");
    llOwnerSay("By the time you are old enough your life will be so unrewarding you will immerse yourself so deeply into our game that you will believe it is not really a game, and that it is in fact better than life!");
    llOwnerSay("If you logged in to see why your parents spent so much time playing, please do not disturb them. Go and play in the street, it is safer out the because all the nasty people are your parents Second Life™ children.");
    }
    else
    {
    avatar = "adult";
    object_of_affection != "toy dolly";
    second_life != "gamel";
    // — Begin welcome message and conditioning
    llOwnerSay("Thank you resident for being a part of the better than life immersive community, where real life is a thing of the past.");
    llOwnerSay("Why not get blisters on your hands from fapping to erotic messages from genderless partners.");
    llOwnerSay("Why not also have a go at parenting with our better than life babies.");
    llOwnerSay("If they become too much you can just leave them in your inventory and never have to hear them cry again.");
    llOwnerSay("After you have sucessfully raised your baby why not try adopting a beautiful child controlled by real resident who has probably failed at real life or failed at adulthood in Second Life™ or has a fetish/fantasy involving children (probably all of the above).");
    llOwnerSay("Why not give it a try.");
    llOwnerSay("Forget they are adults.");
    llOwnerSay("Forget they have adult desires and sexual fantasies (however deviant).");
    llOwnerSay("Just imagine they are poor innocent children who unfortunately have no parents.");
    llOwnerSay("Remember Second Life™ is not a game, Second Life™ is better than life! Better than your life!");
    llOwnerSay("Forget reality, welcome to normality (where everything is accepted as normal!)");
    // — Begin disclaimer
    llOwnerSay("*normality is defined in world by anything the superheros do or by what they feel does not qualify for an AR party!.");
    }

    *btw, I have no sisters & was bored.

  15. At0m0 Beerbaum

    Jan 27th, 2011

    It’s a shame that SL never had rope physics.

    I’d drag a primbaby around and beat it with a broken bottle in front of these idiots.

    What’s funnier than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?

    one dead baby stapled to 10 trees.

  16. Gundel Gaukelei

    Jan 27th, 2011

    “pregnant in SL.”, “SL husband”, “SL married”, “SL family” …

    Pls stop it, ’cause I’m running out of barf bags!

  17. Pappy Enoch

    Jan 27th, 2011

    barf bag? What am that?

    I’ll git you a prim baby–the ones in my warehouse am all holler-like inside an kin be put to many cornvenient uses.

  18. General Drama

    Jan 28th, 2011

    At0m0,
    Make a prim baby physical and give it a follower script with one of those particle chains like the gorfags use. Little brat will follow you everywhere, soiled and bloody diaper and all.

  19. Gundel Gaukelei

    Jan 29th, 2011

    @Pappy Enoch: barf bag? What am that?

    Let me guess: Holler Airlines – only involves a couple of haystacks and a catapult?

  20. marilyn murphy

    Jan 29th, 2011

    i just never pictured sl as a reflection of real life at all. i never had a dwelling for my avatar that would have a kitchen or a bathroom, for instance. i would live in a tree or a mushroom and enjoyed the lack of restrictions on possibilities.
    people can choose to come to second life and live a version of rl if they wish to. when u can live in a mayan temple, or an old roman pallazo, and you choose to live on a street with split level homes and have the baby experience…. i am not sure what that says, but to me its just ugh.

  21. ballstothis

    Feb 7th, 2011

    omfg woman has bigger than normal belly wow great news and next week we report on dog loses a few hairs on the carpet

  22. Lady Brightstorm

    Apr 4th, 2012

    @ Tux
    Let me first start by saying that us adults..myself included..find sl as MORE than a game. Not saying it is not a game…Just MORE than that. I am a mother in RL. I take care of my child and most of my friends are mothers as well. I have met the man of my dreams on SL..he is now my RL Husband and we are living a happy ever efter. SO yes…there are those who play female but are male and vice versa, that is part of the game. But then there is something that SL does for some people, it gives them a chance to experince things that they would not otherwise be able to. For example, a man who can not walk and is stuck to a chair for the rest of his life, can move and run and walk and jump on SL..its amazing for him or her, so why down them for that?
    When it comes to the topic of SL babies….that is one i am pro for. My husband has, before he and i were even together, gotten snipped. We can not have an RL child between us unless we adopt but we do not know if our parenting will cause fights with us or if we can actually do well. So what can we do….SL offers us this chance to test out how we would react to each other, and not only that but allows me to have that experience of being pregnant all over again. Those nay sayers, maybe looking on both sides of the fence might widen your view instead of seeing the dead grass at your feet.

  23. Reader

    Apr 4th, 2012

    @Lady

    You are trying to use rational and cogent thought processes with a “person of interest” who is systematically being kicked off the interwebs because of his own blind, misgivings.

    Don’t bother..

  24. Feyda

    Jan 28th, 2014

    i truly believe that female avi’s with huge breasts and butts are really men in RL. Just my opinion.

  25. Bran Alter

    Feb 22nd, 2014

    SL pregnancy and SL children creep me the hell out. 7 years on SL and I still don’t get it at all.

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