Big Asses and Little Perverts – Adoption in Second Life Part 2

by Alphaville Herald on 31/01/11 at 2:39 am

Justine Gets Grossed Out

by Justine Babii

BigAsses and Little Perverts

A couple of days after my initial trip to investigate adoption in Second Life, I grabbed a friend and dragged her into my plan to scope out an adoption agency and go through the adoption process- stopping, of course, before the part where we actually end up with an SL child.

I should stop here and publicly thank my friend, a wonderfully creative woman who I met when I was the Post 6 photographer and who I’m trying to convince to write for the Herald. The poor woman was innocently shopping and had no idea what she was in for when I IM’d her. Believe me, we all owe her a debt of gratitude for wading into this with me.

The babytalk alone may cause PTSD.

Some Dude and Fans
Some Dude and his fans

Moving along, being new to the adoption process, we had to go to the agency and stand around and read all the signs and notecards and fine print. While doing this, I noticed that there were again a freakishly high number of women with huge asses. (I counted five). These are, for the record, different avatars than the ones I saw the other day- there is apparently a strong correlation between feeling a need to go crazy with the saddlebag slider and the need to adopt.

BigAsses 2 1

Also while standing there, I happened to “overhear” a lot of the local chat. Let me share some with you. Names have been changed.

Tinygirl: Hi everybody!!! :D :D :D
Some Dude: hi honey
Tinygirl: hiya Mister Dood
Tinygirl: Dud
Tinygirl: Dude
Some Dude: how are u
Someother Littlekid has a lil giggle xD
Tinygirl: I am berry good tank yous
Tinygirl: :)
Tinygirl: How ares yous Mister sir
Some Dude: im good ty
Tinygirl: yay I habby tew hear wit
Tinygirl: :)
Some Dude: :-)
Some Dude: how old are u
Tinygirl: Mister Dude.. you hab a lil bit of red paint on ypour tummy
Tinygirl: Blushes
Tinygirl: ✿✶ Giggles ✶✿
Tinygirl: i am fibe
Some Dude: its a new tatto
Tinygirl: ooo okays so you not hurting?
Some Dude: just alittle
Tinygirl: aww i sowwys Mister
Some Dude: im ok ty hun
Tinygirl: why yous hurting
Tinygirl: why yous hurting
Some Dude: from the tatto
Tinygirl: oooo i kissed da booboo
Some Dude: awwww ty sweetie
Tinygirl: (to Someother Littlekid) Mister Dude was hurting ans i kisses de boo boo, i trwy tew makes him feew better
Some Dude: isnt she a cutie
Some Dude: evertytime i come in here i want to take them all home

At this point I am hoping hoping hoping that Some Dude is really some sweet old grampa who misses his grandkids, or some other archetype that is purely innocent, and that this doesn’t culminate in something really gross.

Then, my friend, who had been listening to the various conversations around us with even more cynicism than I had, was approached in IM by an avatar that had been born two days before.

Some Dude and Tinygirl
Some Dude and Tinygirl

I share with you some of their conversation, both names again changed to protect us all.

Yucky Child: im’s dunt haba mommi n dadda im’s homlesh
My Poor Friend: awwwwww
My Poor Friend: so you are looking for a family ?
My Poor Friend: have you had one before?
Yucky Child: yeshm mees wookin fors famlees n nops mees neber hab wuns
Yucky Child: :-(
My Poor Friend: awwwww
My Poor Friend: i hope you find one soon

To me, that’s the end of the conversation, but the boy steamrolled his way right through the “Best of luck to you” stop sign my friend threw up and kept going. I think my friend does a great job of not throwing up, and of taking on the cover story we’re operating under, that she is looking to adopt. A half hour before this, my friend had been kicking ass at the Demure Darling Hunt, now she was listening to what might be veiled propositions from men pretending to be five year olds.

Yucky Child: is yous a mommi?
My Poor Friend: well i am hoping to be, very soon
My Poor Friend: but not just yet
Yucky Child: iz der a dadda ors bruddes n sisypoos tew ?
My Poor Friend: well i will be getting married soon
My Poor Friend: then there will be a daddy
My Poor Friend: and brothers and sisters too i hope
Yucky Child: oO mees onlees tryinz wookin 4 a mommi mees skard ob dadda’s mees wus ober a frens homs n a dadda spanky mees :-(
My Poor Friend: ooooooo
My Poor Friend: you need a good daddy


So, he only wants a Mommy. Hmmmmm. Then this nugget:

Yucky Child: ifs yous wus mees mommi wuld yous talks 2 mees ons voic tew ors noos?
My Poor Friend: yes i could
My Poor Friend: would you like that?
Yucky Child: wells mees wookin 4 a mommi dat tan talkz ons voic mees aw sum boys wik pleyin gurls n dats yuki

So he wants a Mommy that will talk on voice with him, and he needs her to talk on voice because “some boys like playing girls” so he wants to assure she’s female. He went on and on and on.

Also, he wants to play “tikls munterz & duressh ups n pillowz fits” with his mommi

/me shivers and shudders with a huge case of ewwwwwwwww.

So far, the overwhelming motifs I’ve found in exploring adoption in SL are gigantic bottomed women and “kids” who seem a little too friendly, or as I titled this piece, big asses and little perverts. I’m really hoping I find some uplifting and wholesome mixed in here somewhere, but so far, it’s not looking hopeful.

32 Responses to “Big Asses and Little Perverts – Adoption in Second Life Part 2”

  1. At0m0 Beerbaum

    Jan 31st, 2011

    I have this overwhelming urge to smash these people in the face with a hammer, claw side.

  2. Senban Babii

    Jan 31st, 2011

    In a not-really-that-unexpected turn of events, more on this breaking story was revealed when it turned out that at least one of the above photos had been photogimped (experts said they could tell by the pixels).

    Our sources however managed to recover the deleted original and wikileaked it to us, exposing the true clientele of these adoption agencies.

  3. Pappy Enoch

    Jan 31st, 2011

    “i kissed da booboo”


    “ifs yous wus mees mommi wuld yous talks 2 mees ons voic tew ors noos?”

    I thought I were a sick f*ck, bein’ a RL supermodel an’ a fake hillbilly in SL.

    Ya’ll should never let this here story go poof.

    In a couple years, I reckons a heap o’ them-there PhD fellers (Piled Higher an’ Deeper) will be a-payin’ to git this here stuff. It am a sociopathological goldmine, I’m a tellin’ ya’ll!

  4. Senban Babii

    Jan 31st, 2011

    “So he wants a Mommy that will talk on voice with him, and he needs her to talk on voice because “some boys like playing girls” so he wants to assure she’s female.”

    See if this was me, I’d say yes, and I want to hear you on voice to ensure you’re really an eight year old child and not some grown man pretending to be one on account of being a twisted sick fuckpuppy.

    If it’s just harmless roleplay then the meat gender shouldn’t technically matter.

    If they’re asking for proof of meat gender then that would imply that it’s less likely to be roleplay and thus they are twisted sick fuckpuppies that are undoubtedly touching themselves at the thought of bathtime roleplay.

    Kill them with fire.

  5. Emperor Norton hears a who?

    Jan 31st, 2011

    They’re just giving us a face full on this big ass issue.

  6. Gundel Gaukelei

    Jan 31st, 2011

    Roman Decadence Reloaded – Shure Signs Of The Decline – Vol. 2

  7. Shoshin

    Jan 31st, 2011

    SL PROFILE QUOTE “NOT A CHILD AV ROLE PLAYER ! She types phonetically.
    She has DID Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), (Multiple personalities) diagnosed RL by a qualified Psychotherapist/MD.
    Amberly is a child trapped in a rl woman’s body. . Do not friend or TP without parental permission
    She is hurt by people judging her. People can be cruel about things they don’t understand if they perceive you as “different”. SL is a MEDIUM of communication NOT a GAME remember that and you’ll have more FUN.”

    Amberly has been in a healthy, positive adopted SL family for more than a year, they also Facebook and have each other’s rl phone numbers. She knows what they look like in rl and they know what she looks like in the adult body rl.

    There is NO sexualization of the relationship and Amberly does not go to adult sims.

    SL has enabled her to have a body, a life, a family and friends of her own. She has grown and changed from an anxious, frightened child who would cry (in rl) run and hide. Her phonetic typing was almost incomprehensible initially and with the help of her SL mom and dad, she has improved.

    Oh, yes – I am one of the adult personalities in the DID system. Her parents interact with me as friends and as people who care deeply for Amberly’s well being. The growth and improvement Amberly has experienced is being felt throughout the system in a positive way.

    Her mother is beautiful, both in and out of SL I have no idea what “big butt” has to do with anything.

    For those of you who believe Amberly to be disgusting shrugging so be it. She won’t know, because while there is co-consiousness, there are also boundaries we maintain and she is not allowed to view adult content.

    I debated with myself as to whether I would respond, but I saw so many skewed view points, that I had to interject some “virtual reality” and hopefully give people a different view point.

    Are there perves in SL? As many as exist anywhere, are there predators? As many as exist here and the same rules for staying safe apply.

    The concept of what is “disgusting” is very subjective and people who are part of this web site could be considered “disgusting” by some folk.

    Amberly’s finding a family in SL is one of the best things to happen to us in many years.

  8. Yordie Sands

    Jan 31st, 2011

    I am trying to understand the adoption/child thing with an open mind, but there’s a little girls store parked right next to my plot on a mature sim. End each time I see it I can’t help thinking there are pervs somewhere. /me shakes her head in despair.

    Otoh, I have freinds who have never had children who are adopting in SL, and I kind of understand. /me tries to be supportive because they are sweet people and very happy for this opportunity.

    I really can’t come to grips with this whole thing. God bless us everyone.

    I don’t know how LL was ever decided to permitted this in the first place and it doesn’t look like it’s going away.


  9. hobo kelly

    Feb 1st, 2011

    Where oh where has Woodbury gone?
    Oh where oh where could they be?
    the Preggos need deformed short,
    and the Prim Babies orbited long,
    Oh where oh where could they be?

  10. Dread Judge

    Feb 1st, 2011

    I got a little lost with the Amberly thing- are you saying you and she are personalities within the same typist Shoshin?

  11. Pappy Enoch

    Feb 1st, 2011

    Don’t be so dang jugdemental, Judge.

    I are a fat felonious hillbilly rascal drunk trapped in a world-famus supermodel’s body. It are a ruff life, let me tell you. I needed me SL to git the true me out fo’ the world to see.

  12. Lili

    Feb 1st, 2011

    This sick depraved stuff needs to be banned! I wonder what the policy is about these people interacting with our new neighbors, the teens? It couldn’t be a very good example to set for them. And I’ve already heard the tales about how people were scarred in real life and need to do these things in SL to make their life liveable. If you gotta do this in SL, you really need to get some help in RL. How did this get started anyway? Is it a cultural thing?

    The thing with the make-believe kids is kinda creepy too.

  13. Trinity Dejavu

    Feb 1st, 2011

    Way to approach a subject in a fair an balanced way, you and “friend” found NOTHING yet you still manage to make a whole lot of SUGGESTION as to what YOUR MIND has drempt up is happening.

    Despite your best efforts, you two are the only ones thinking about kiddie sex, so do everyone a favor and stop trying to project your own perverted misconceptions onto everyone else.

    Just so you know, if you did happen to find anything inappropriate in your quest to find something inappropriate, LL will nuke the accounts of everyone involved, even yours, so hiding behind a “friend” offers ZERO protection .. they do also keep logs of all chat in SL so your “friend” would be trivial to identify should Thor Linden feel the need to play smashy smashy with his ban hammer. Who knows, maybe he baby talks and has a problem with men pretending to be women too …

  14. Nelson Jenkins

    Feb 1st, 2011

    @ Shoshin

    I understand the whole DID thing (I know two people that suffer from it as well) but I’m sorry, the internet as a whole is just not the place to let it bloom. And I GUARANTEE that very, very few of these “children” (if more than one) actually suffer from DID.

    That being said, I think it’s entirely fine – perhaps even commendable – that Amberly would use Second Life as a medium for dealing with her illness. I believe, after all, that one of the intentions of Second Life (before it blew up into this over-hyped shitstorm of dramatic nothing) was to, quite literally, provide a “second life” for those that needed it. All we’re saying (I say “we” as most Second Life residents) is that the overwhelming majority of child roleplayers are INCESSANT about their whole “I’m an innocent kid that can’t speak well” thing and, all said and done, just really fucking annoying. I would go so far as to say that child roleplayers are more annoying than furries. (At least most of us talk normal in public.)

    At the end of the day, most child roleplayers creep out the majority of Second Life residents, and I’m just afraid that there could be some pretty sick stuff going on behind the scenes. Second Life isn’t the only method of chatting. Hook up on SL and keep the naughty stuff on the down-low in some other chat method, you know what I mean? It’s just a huge fucking powder keg and the instant some lawyer gets a bit too pushy, we’re going to see some serious bloodshed.

    @ Trinity Dejavu

    I would think someone like you (who has posted here before) would realize that Alphaville Herald is the fictional equivalent of 4chan’s /b/.

    “The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.”

  15. Yep

    Feb 1st, 2011

    Go getem Tiger :P

  16. Pappy Enoch

    Feb 1st, 2011

    “Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.”

    You mean it ain’t ALL true?? Dang it, Nelson, you am lying! I lives my fake life by the wisdom I finds here.

  17. Mairead Mcconnell

    Feb 1st, 2011

    I work in education with under 5 year olds ..and it makes me wonder if the child avs have actually ever spoken to a real child

  18. SlShapeshifter

    Feb 1st, 2011

    @Shoshin: Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down, dude.

    I’m sure that your subculture is full of decent people, but it’s the Herald’s job to focus on the freaks. That’s the entertaintent value.

  19. Senban Babii

    Feb 1st, 2011

    I actually wrote a rather large response to Shoshin’s post this morning which included input from a mental health lecturer at the university I work for. Sadly the site didn’t let me post it and by the time I’ll be able to get access to the text again, this story will no doubt have been forgotten. Never mind.

    But it’s still worth making an observation. Look at “Yucky Kid”. His profile claims he’s five years old, right? Have you ever seen a five year old with pectoral muscles like that?

  20. Pappy Enoch

    Feb 1st, 2011

    “Have you ever seen a five year old with pectoral muscles like that?”

    John Henry, but he were born wif a hammer in his hand.

    These fake goo-goo ga-ga chirren am givin’ me bad dreams. More, please.

  21. Oh noes

    Feb 2nd, 2011

    My Poor Friend: i hope you find one soon


    Let these people do what they want to. If they want to roleplay as children let them. As long as they stay in their own sims.

  22. Senban Babii

    Feb 2nd, 2011

    “While doing this, I noticed that there were again a freakishly high number of women with huge asses.”

  23. Emperor Norton hears a who?

    Feb 2nd, 2011

    Going by the drama in this thread I would say most residents aren’t ready to handle freakishly large asses.

  24. Jewel

    Feb 2nd, 2011

    I myself have a child av, that I log into during the daytime, and I use an adult av in the evening. Why? I have the child av because my real life childhood was very scarred in many ways. I find SL a great place to find caring people who can show they care and nurture the small inside person beneathe the adult. Some might not understand the need to have caring parents in their SL lives, but I do. People do however have to take care in finding SL parents & Children because there are some sickos out there. Why am I an SL parent, because I can’t have children in real life, due to my childhood. I am a very good person with a big heart, and my sl child has become a great friend and I’m able to give him some of the same caring his inner child needs. There is nothing sick or gross about it when it’s realistic and not being done with the wrong intentions. There is nothing sexual going on. And as for voice, and making sure someone is what they percieve themselves to be.. mother father etc.. sometimes a kid needs that because the creeps out there have shown they lie. Inner children need trust, and to feel safe. What I think is sick is that you people went to an agency pretending to be good wholesome adoptive parents, giving children in sl hope that you mighht be a nice family match for them. And you were the next big scam. Now who’s wrong and sick minded? I think you enjoyed toying with these people for your stupid littel article that proves nothing but your immaturity level.

  25. Pappy Enoch

    Feb 2nd, 2011

    @Emp’rer Norton, You am rite on that.

    One o’ my wurst bad dreams involves ass-babies what Miss Edna talked about when this-here story first broke. I gots a rite prosperous back 40 myself, so what if’n I are carryin’ one o’ them babies?

    I gots enuff fake babies as it am.

  26. Gundel Gaukelei

    Feb 2nd, 2011

    ..mmh, wait .. so the age limitation must be all about dangers to childrens body. Because if someone is using SL who only got the mind of child, its even healthy. Weird…

  27. Oh noes

    Feb 4th, 2011

    Jewel, no offense but it seems like you’re using SL to avoid your problems. If you really wanted a child you would seek help ( or if it’s phyiscal) adopt. I’m kind of tired of people saying they do this because of a messed up child hood. If you’ve come to terms you’ve had a bad childhood you should move on. Instead of living on the negatives.

  28. ballstothis

    Feb 7th, 2011

    You see what the morons here dont realise is that nothing got said that was actually wrong, illegal, against terms of service, or any other misdeed. ZOMFG AHHHHHHHHHHHH someone wanted a roleplay mom to talk to them on voice, do you know why? its because there are perverted men that start abusing the roleplay of being a mother. The child av wanted to be sure your friend wasnt a pervert. The child av community is very very aware of each and every terms of service violation. One kid av hears someone being a pervert and within seconds that pervert is not only reported to linden labs but almost every sim where family role play takes place will have them on a ban list. Can i suggest you all go and fuck off and see how many perverts there are on your own friends lists
    If you want to clean up sl i suggest you start by dressing as child avs and see how many of your friends start wanting to tickle your fancy CLUE – GO AND LOOK AT YOUR OWN FRIENDS JUSTINE, TAKE A LONG HARD LOOK AT THEIR GROUPS, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY THEIR ALTS GROUPS THEN YOU WRITE THIS SHIT

  29. Marx Dudek

    Feb 15th, 2011

    Justine, my alt detector system tells me you do indeed have some friends you should write about.

  30. D.F.

    Feb 15th, 2011

    Popcorn – check, coke – check; let teh drama continue.
    Im very curious about what marx and ballstothis mean by this all. Please you guys, elaborate. Let’s hear the filthy little details!

  31. [...] On Feb 15th, Marx Dudek wrote the following on the Herald comment section, in reply to a story I wrote about child avatars hitting on my friends: [...]

  32. Marx Dudek

    Feb 25th, 2011

    The above comment was not posted by me.

    I am not surprised the the fact that I have been vocal against RedZone and its creator has resulted in someone from the pro-RZ camp slandering my name.

    If you would like to know my personal opinion on avatar detection, please read the insanely huge thread on SL Universe.

    And if I haven’t made already abundantly clear over the past couple months … FUCK REDZONE.

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