Mardi Gras Search Leads to Prim-Baby Moral Quandry
by Alphaville Herald on 26/02/09 at 7:52 am
Mardi Gras and virtual pregnancy
by Pappy Enoch
I dun give up on Mardi's Bras…becuz 1) I ain't got no munny and 2) I were alreddy drunk. Besides, the first dang search I did tu find “New Orleans” got me:
Prim babies!
The sort yu gits frum one o' them talkin' tummies. So I dun went thar, eggspectin' tu make sum fun. But them expectin' gals flirted an' teased me so bad that I blushed like a prize waturmelon.
Ended up wantin' a baby mahself tu git sum love in a mean ol' fake wirld (o' leastways git purty gals tu come up, bend over the perambulatur, n' say "hootchie cootchie goo" while I took a gander at sum SL fake D-cups).
When I tellyported, I got out my orange crayola n' a racin' form so's Icould git down what we said. I dun run the names intu a mix-master sothese here folks kin claim they don't know me.
PS: Aftur my furst story, the cornsensus were sum 'whar betwixt “Lynch that fat retard” an' “Make him C.E.O. o' the Linden Lab that runs the fake wirld.”
PPS: Votes were runnin' heavy on the lynchin' side, tu be honest.
Last P &S: So I ain't got nuffin tu lose by hittin' ya'll over the head wif anudder collum. Here it am.
XYZ Welcome Mat whispers: Welcome To XYZ Babies Maternity Center Pappy Enoch
Pappy Enoch puts on hillbilly-to-cityfolk translator
Patient One's Baby Sean Antony String is kicking. Patient One, rub your tummy.
Baby Samantha loves to be rocked.
Pappy Enoch: howdy y'all
Sexy Baby Doctor: hello
Sexy Baby Doctor: toss the cig. can't have the cig here
Pappy Enoch: it's a seegar, but okie-doke
Sexy Baby Doctor: cigar same thing hehe
Sexy Baby Doctor: omg lol
(I reckon I dun rezzed at that point, so she dun seen what she were dealin' with)
Pappy Enoch: they am pregnant gals?
Sexy Baby Doctor: yes
Pappy Enoch: fake smoke am bad for 'em?
Sexy Baby Doctor: yes it is
Newborn Baby Selena whispers: Diaper starts to get warm and heavy as urine fills
the diaper wow its sagging alot better get it changed.
Baby Samantha needs some attention
Pappy Enoch: Hoo whee! Don't let them lil' taters git no diaper-rash!
Pappy Enoch: I works for the Herald. I'm coverin' Mardi Gras.
Sexy Baby Doctor: and we have a high risk patient upstairs. My SL daughter
Pappy Enoch: do tell?
Pappy Enoch: I hopes she will be okay
Sexy Baby Doctor: she will be but she must take it easy
Baby Saphala love to be held
Pappy Enoch: am she about to deliver?
Sexy Baby Doctor: nope not yet
Yulie is tired and needs a nap.
Pappy Enoch: I gots a little boy in SL. That lil' shaver loves to cause his Pappy trouble 
(I didn't speak nary wurd about how lil' ol Marcus BooBoo Aurelius Enoch dun run off with his evil aunt Jezzybell. No sense rilin' up these gals so they had messcarriages).
Sexy Baby Doctor: aww they are cute. I have girls
Pappy Enoch (inchin' for the door): I hopes your grandbaby turns out as cute as you
Sexy Baby Doctor: thank you Pappy
Patient One: what a shopaholic and a loud mouth lol
Pappy Enoch (ignoring Patient One, who were staring our way): so do you git any folks here lookin' for Mardi Gras? That am how I found you
Sexy Baby Doctor: I have. And I have a LM for for a party tomorrow
Patient One feels a little itch from her expanding belly.
Baby Saphala is her Daddy's Little Angel
Yulie looks around the room for Mommy.
Pappy Enoch (beating-feet for the door): Bin nice, chattin' with ya'll. I'll put you in the Herald if'n my editor takes this story
Patient One: lol
Baby Samantha is her Daddy's Little Angel
Yulie loves playing with her bear rattle.
Teleport completed. Pappy Enoch removes hillbilly-to-cityfolk translator
Pappy Enoch: dag nabbit. I cain't make fun o' folks hoo am so nice! Oh boo-hoo-hoo, Miz Pixeleen am gonna give me the sack! I aint' got it in mee tu bee the Don Ricketts o' SL. I ain't cut out fo' satire!
Hylee
Feb 26th, 2009
huh?
janeforyou Barbara
Feb 26th, 2009
@-@ ???
Just Me
Feb 26th, 2009
I know satire and I know comedy and I know silliness .. and in no way is this any of those things .. it’s a rambling, nonsensical mishmash of … nothingness.
Orion Pseudo
Feb 26th, 2009
That’s ahh… Humm… Well, disturbing… ?
Jezz Enoch
Feb 26th, 2009
That was whut I were tryin’ tu tell ya’ll about this id’jit. He am a stain on the hole family an’ more! Mama cried her po’ eyes out over his tribulashuns.
GIT HIM! Dead, alive, ailin’ don’t matter! Jist SHOOT him, sumboddy!
Miss Petunia Amaryllis Courtney Taliaferro
Feb 26th, 2009
Heavens above! I thought you had terminated that salacious cad.
Where ARE my pills?
Oh, my head…I am overcome by the vapors! What is worse for civilization? Prim-babies or this bumpkin? He is SO coarse.
Miss Petunia
Thinks SL Pregs is Ridiculous
Feb 26th, 2009
OMG the talking pregos in SL are just too much. And a HIGH RISK pregnancy – has to take it easy…ROFL… I recently joined a SL group – The Silent Uterus Society…check it out the charter is great.
G T F O
Feb 26th, 2009
G T F O pappy youre doing it wrong
Pappy Enoch
Feb 27th, 2009
GTFO, kin yu tell me how 2 du it rite? I sho didn’t git no action out o’ them expectin’ yummy-mummy gals. May-be you gots sum gal-gettin’ secret I ain’t tried out on them fake wimmin yet.
Miss Petunia, I knowed yu wood sho up sooner o’ latur….like sum bad rash.
Ol’ blue-blood snobs cain’t ‘preciate no natural-born man.
Rag Tag
Feb 28th, 2009
I havent missed but 7 Mardi Gras due to being in combat. This is the worst journalism I have ever witnessed. This is a slam of Mardi Gras. I cant tell you how many ways you butchered it but ya did. Most of you probably never been. its a site.
Another thing I never seen a pregnant woman there but has seen a few leave that way. The Morality of Prim babies is there creepy!
TypoTypR
Feb 28th, 2009
based on the headline, i would have liked to read the article, but i gave up after the first paragraph, as i suspect many others would as well.
So you have an accent? good for you, but next time, do us all a favour and run your text through a spell checker will you. lifes to short and i’m just not prepared to spend the effort attempting to translate every word you say.
Iadga Galicia
Mar 1st, 2009
Really fucking pathetic seriously
Sitearm Madonna
Mar 1st, 2009
Pappy rocks and so do Common Taters. Miss Petunia should start a column!
Archie Lukas
Mar 15th, 2009
My wife tried this -she was a bit sad at the time and wanted to explore the idea.
She received the most amazing amount of grief and vile comments you could (not) imagine.
I was away for a week, she re-made the house, furnished a room and did the tummy thing and was so upset that when I came back she was crying (RL) and had removed everything and wouldn’t talk about it at first.
Despite offering to put an SL contract out on those bitches (yes they were female), she wouldn’t tell me there names.
Lucky then -I was prepared to go postal.
I don’t much go for this at all -but I respect the right of someone’s privilege to try it for themselves.
I mean I like Sc-Fi; so what if I’m some fecking professor -I still like sci-fi -deal with it.
See?