Op/Ed: I was wrong
by tenshi on 03/08/07 at 10:58 pm
by Tenshi Vielle, Fabulous Fashionista
"We All Have A Weakness
But Some Of Ours Are Easier To Identify."
–Dig, Incubus
Did you ever just have one of those days?
Well, as it appears, I’ve had one of those weeks. One of those weeks that, in a slew of insults and nasty things being thrown, someone finally holds a mirror up – even if it is accidental. An attempt to play the trump card.
I saw what’s in that mirror, and I really don’t like it. I can’t believe I ever said anything like that. It’s horrible to write things about people – nasty things they sure didn’t ever ask you to do. It’s even worse to pick apart something they’ve worked pretty hard on, or to stretch it in the name of "journalism".
I have no excuses, no buts, no theories for my behavior in "reporting" the fashionable events of Second Life. I owe a lot of people an apology.
I owe Sabrina Doolittle an apology for picking her apart in an unprecedented article here, several months back. I take it all back – and your dog doesn’t drool. You’re right.
I owe Caliah Lyon an apology for the horrid review and then haughty follow-up I gave her last month regarding the SLCC in-world convention fashion shows. After I organized and put through the MO Island show… I realize one is lucky to simply come through with her hair intact, let alone having some idiot picking it apart afterwards.
I owe Esmerelda Oh an apology, again, for picking apart her creativity on my blog and ripping her apart for seemingly being a Paper Couture copy cat. Her new turbans are nice.
I even owe an apology to Elexor Matador for picking apart his creative manner and recreating a Cartier piece in Second Life. I suppose that’s the point of Second Life. To have things we can’t have in real life.
For the people who say I never admit when I am wrong, I’m admitting it now. I was wrong. Please accept my apologies.
From now on, you won’t be getting gossip from me – not here at the Herald, nor at the Shopping Cart Disco blog. You’ll get fashion, pure and simple, and maybe even some grid-hopping adventures.
Thanks.
Onder Skall
Aug 3rd, 2007
Holy shit Tenshi. Nicely done.
Phoenix Chapman
Aug 3rd, 2007
It takes a really big person to apologize. I accepted your apology earlier, and I meant it. I hope that things get better for you.
Rose Farina
Aug 4th, 2007
*stands up and claps*
That took courage.
Reality
Aug 4th, 2007
I’m impressed Tenshi – I really am.
Nacon
Aug 4th, 2007
Good girl.
I’m sure you still have to do some work for them to actually make it up for them, sure… willing to admit is harder for you but saying sorry is too easy for them to hear.
Accepted.
EnCore Mayne
Aug 4th, 2007
step one in the program tenshi. pretty soon we’ll have that monkey off your back. welcome to our world.
Lucian Overlord
Aug 4th, 2007
I am not a blog follower or into drama and the what nots. But I have seen and heard
but I say this it takes a big person to admit they are wrong.
Takes an even bigger person to say there sorry.
So take this and learn from it words can be worse then punches sometimes.
Lucian
greta garbo
Aug 4th, 2007
Lets hope others learn from your good example. It takes more character, integrity and intelligence to be nice then it does to be mean. And not artificially nice . . not for show nice . . not to save face nice . . but real compassion and love. Im no fucking hippie but the beatles did have that part right. In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make so you better get busy! Fashion is fun it but its superfical even on an artistic level. I studied fashion in real life and id rather be buck naked surrounded by people who truly love/respect me then look good and be empty inside.
Marni Grut
Aug 4th, 2007
Holy Cow
Nicholaz Beresford
Aug 4th, 2007
Kudos Miss!
Morgana Fillion
Aug 4th, 2007
Bravo, Tenshi. I wish you every possible success as you move forward with this new resolution. This took guts – good job.
Tenshi Vielle
Aug 4th, 2007
Guys;
I seriously feel like a three year old that just learned to use the big-girl potty.
I’d like to put my own foot in my ass, but it doesn’t reach.
–Tenshi
Anonymous
Aug 4th, 2007
We all know this didn’t take courage. This took being backed against a wall with only one exit. Way to find the door, Tenshi. Try not to let it hit you on the ass again.
Shraud Deadlight
Aug 4th, 2007
Just when I was about to cancel my Herald subscription following Heartun’s departure and a continued supermarket-rag-like quality of many articles, … this.
I’m floored, and impressed. Goddess bless Ms. Vielle.
–
PS. For women’s tuxes, Celebrity Trollop was good enough to recommend a semi-anime-inspired design by Kru Flan. Also, I found several men’s 40′s-retro styles at VR Phlux which might work out.
Tamara Kirshner
Aug 4th, 2007
Admitting you’re wrong is never easy. Admitting you’re wrong in such a public forum must have been incredibly difficult. Tenshi, I admire you for what you’ve done here. I look forward to reading your pure fashion analysis in Shopping Cart Disco.
Scarlett Niven
Aug 4th, 2007
*HUGS* Well done.
Rose Farina
Aug 4th, 2007
Dear Anonymous:
First I want to point out that I am not a friend of Tenshi’s… when I said on my blog I was afraid of fashion bloggers she was on my list. I saw her yesterday day at Torrid’s and said hi… she blew me off.
So this is from one person to another… there comes a time to set something down. She has said she is sorry and unless she does something otherwise… why not believe her?
Hatred is a bitter thing… in time it will turn you into what you dispise… You work here is done… smile and move on.
Valena Glushenko
Aug 4th, 2007
Hmmmmm, a start at least. Whether this is a sincere apology or the only solution is debatable i guess, but I for one believe you. I’m sure you’ll agree that now some proper journalism is in order, both here and on SCD, but for now way to go Tenshi
Anonymous
Aug 4th, 2007
Dear Rosie–
There was no hatred in my comment. There were definitely tones of doubt and derision, but I’m actually entitled to those.
This apology was a reaction to a giant backlash of negative public attention to her increasingly nasty and hypocritical words. She answered her many criticizers with offensive, profanity-laden, and half-cocked denials of these events.
I don’t think she deserves a pat on the back for admitting she handled it badly. She needed this reality check, and it’s about time. We don’t have to stand around clapping because she finally can admit she was a jerk.
Tenshi Vielle
Aug 4th, 2007
Rose, I never saw you nor saw your chat. I wouldn’t ever blow a person off. I saw Emma, she said hello, I replied, and then I left. I’m sorry. In-world, I usually greet whoever greets me and such. IM me in world sometime.
And, just FYI, I still have the same hatred for anonymous commenters.
Anonymous who won't be told to
Aug 4th, 2007
Classic damage limitation exercise. Nothing more, nothing less.
Tenshi Vielle
Aug 4th, 2007
Nacon;
You’re still my camera monkey. Always will be.
Morgana Fillion
Aug 4th, 2007
Tenshi, you’re going to have to clock some time being civil to the ones who do leave their name before people give up the Anon habit.
Tenshi Vielle
Aug 4th, 2007
Yes, we can only hope.
Funboi Contrarian
Aug 4th, 2007
Ouch ouch my eyes! I can’t read this! What happened to our wonderful Paper Tiger of a newspaper? Is it now reduced to a Paper Bunnyrabbit? Did Uri accidently eunuch himself with a can opener? Did Prok suddenly discover voice in SL and forget how to type? Has the gambling/sex ban finally sanitized the grid to the point where we have nothing more to complain about, and everything works perfectly? What the hell did I miss?
Oops, I said a cuss word – is that still allowe….CONNECTION TERMINATED
Rose Farina
Aug 4th, 2007
Tenshi: I was standing next to Emma
SL being what it is though I may not have rezzed in for you yet…
Anonymous: I’ve missed most of it…Don’t really hang out in those circles. I don’t doubt that you have reason to be upset or that she lashed out.
From where I was standing though it just looked like someone stirring the pot to keep it going… and there are much more interesting things to have going
If I was wrong… then I am sorry 
Reality Bites
Aug 4th, 2007
Is it just me or does this article reek of desperation? Good thing I have my bullshit spray handy…….
Y’all need to stop kissing Tenshi’s ass for her “bravery” and “honesty” and for fuck’s sake, stop telling her how “proud” you are. What’s the message that you’re trying to spread here? That you can behave like an absolute cunt (to use one of Tenshi’s favorite words) and get away with it so long as you come to terms with your cuntiness and apologize later on? Well done, that’s exactly the message you want to spread to insipid “fashion bloggers” and the “wannabe journalists” here at the herald. Go forth! Be vicious backstabbing bitches, but we’ll welcome you back into the fold with arms wide open and loving words when it becomes obvious that apologizing is the only way that you won’t be burned at the stake. Well fuck that! Tenshi’s deep-seeded love for witchhunting should mean that she’s prone to the same treatment. An eye for an eye, Tenshi. You deserve to burn, albeit symbolically of course, for your actions. You had unlimited chances to apologize and instead you struck back in fine fashion calling people “fucking cunts” and telling them to “shut the fuck up”. Well now it’s our turn. You are and always will be a cunt, and please, shut the fuck up.
Unsure
Aug 4th, 2007
Time will tell but from where many of us sit, you were backed into a corner. In other words, you had no choice but to do this if you wanted to continue logging in. Leopards don’t often change their spots and even you must admit you’ve been stalking your enemies with incredible focus and venom since your early days in SL fashion.
So time will tell. I honestly hope this is really a new leaf but we shall all soon see because people who crave the limelight – well it’s like a drug and you’ll be back if you haven’t really learned.
In the meantime, best of luck mending fences. There are many, many more than those listed. Only, those were the most public.
Salome Strangelove
Aug 4th, 2007
Forgive a long-winded reply to this post.
Anon posters frustrate those of us who put our names (even our fake SL names) out there and walk out on limbs by stating our opinions, but they are not always wrong. It would be untrue to say that this apology makes everything okay. The reminder that there will continue to be bitter feelings is worth voicing. However, in this case, it is more important to focus on the positive statements and just take the anon comments for what they are – a reminder of what many people are thinking but hesitant to say.
Sometimes it takes being backed into a corner to come to a very somber realization. Maybe it is sincere and maybe it isn’t – but it doesn’t do us any harm to assume Tenshi is sincere and I, for one, prefer to lend benefit of the doubt when someone puts their cards on the table. If only this had come months ago – so much frustration could have been avoided, but late is always better than never.
There are a lot of people missing from your apology, Tenshi, but I’m going to assume the general sentiment extends to those of us not covered by name. No, I don’t think touchy-feely hugs are going to be in order from many of us, but at least that air of cannibalistic playground ethics will be gone.
SL fashion – like RL fasion is only as serious as you take it. I, personally, have too many memories of my white girl ass in wannabe Madonna garb in the 80s to ever consider myself some fashion plate – virtual or not. When I write about SL fashion it is in a very grown-up paper dolls way. It is shallow girlish fun and I have no problem owning to that. I wish more people would. It is that manner of posturing that makes people think SL fashion is nothing but arrogant drama when the truth is there is no more drama in SL fashion than in any other aspect of the platform. Any of us that ever read the real estate forums know drama is and always will be in all aspects of the community.
I have incredible respect for the designers who work hard to create pretty things for me to play with, and I try to stay focused on the fact that this is a business for many people, but at the end of the day, it’s fun. Tenshi took away that fun from many people – far more than I think she realized – and turned it into something stressful and hurtful and something they felt slightly ashamed for. I suspect, Tenshi, that the highest price to be paid for your past will be paid by yourself. There will be some who just won’t be able to let go – but I think if you are sincere and really do make an effort to walk the higher road, many of us will be able to let bygones be bygones. I don’t think it means you have to bow and scrape for the rest of your SL life, either, but it will take some time for those of us you ambused and stalked with such enthusiasm to let our guards down.
I will wait and see, but I am hopeful that this is a sincere statement and a genuine shift in focus. I do offer you thanks and congrats for this very public first step. The next and harder part will be to see if you keep up the more difficult road ahead of sticking to the resolve. I think it will be so much more positive for you and others. I hope it puts the fun back into SL for you, Tenshi, and allows those you’ve unfairly attacked to let go of their negativity over the experience.
My advice, for what it’s worth, is to let the anon posters take their shots. Accept them for what they are, find the truth in them and discard the bitterness. Don’t rise to the bait – there will be many who will want to see you fall back into your old form so they can say “See – told you – she’s just the same.” It will get easier to ignore them the more you take the high road and prove them wrong.
Of course, it would also be nice to see some statement of apology from the Herald mouthpieces who encouraged and supported your statements because it led to higher page views, but it seems greedy to hope for two miracles in one day.
myself
Aug 4th, 2007
talk to my hand tenshi
now if i come back in this shi* you call a blog, i will always remember that pic of yourself (are you sure you picked the best one to post?) and remember how long (and how many words) it took for you fake you have any regret. ALL bullsh*t!
you won’t fool me, and please stop blogging a little and go do something to your hair and skin, jeez, you are a nerd!
Tiffany Wilder
Aug 5th, 2007
i have to say I am impressed by you op/ed and do hope that will stick to your guns as Salmone says and no let anon asses who have no real courage behind their words and have to use the anon tag of some type keep you from reaching that goal.
They say your words are hollow but you have a real SL name attached to your comments as do I. Only those that post anon have posts worth nothing, hollow , empty & meaningless. If they are too ashamed to say their name then take that into account when reading their posts (which i am sure you know already, just thought it needed to be said).
Lastly is also in something Salome makes reference to in her post, The herald itself encouraged you in this pursuit purely for their own selfish gain. The did not care about any backlash you may get as long as it got people to read. You mention you “feel like a three year old that just learned to use the big-girl potty” well the herald staff should have helped you with that long ago, that they did not is shameful.
Shame on Uri as I know for a fact he encouraged you, his posts in the SL lifestyle article you did show it(Pixleen not sure). That he is not man enough to back your statement with one of his own shows a lot about his character that i had originally thought well of.
I hope only the best for you and that you can grow an learn from all this.
Tiffany Wilder (Sl name – not some anon bullshitter)
Simondo Nebestanka
Aug 5th, 2007
Very well stated Salome.
Tenshi, well done: it does take courage to apologise in this forum. Salome says it better than I can
but it will take more strength to resist lashing out at this lame anonymous cynicism; they are just goading, provoking to test the sincerity of your sentiment.
Whether I agree or disagree with any of your previous work it matters not; at the very least you were prepared to attach your name to your statements.
Peace & respect
greta garbo
Aug 5th, 2007
Let she who is sinless cast the first stone – yah ok some people fuck up more then others – but we are all on this planet at different levels of personal growth and evolution – there are very few truly evil people in this world. Mostly people are just really disfunctional, lost, searching, in pain or immature There are so many guilty people in sl and sl fashion scene . . maybe yall deserved the nasty Tenshi. That statement will get flamed but if you were truly objective youd see my point clearly. None of you are beyond reproach and your anger only makes you look bad too. Humility is the key here. And the internet is full of egos. Learn humility and you will be ok. Shes just an immature girl who got on the internet and started pounding out every wicked thought on her keyboard. Oh what you never done that, albeit to a lesser degree? Sounds like shes growing up a bit and alknowledging her efforts is called positive reinforcement lol a term from early childhood education. But i agree with Salome’s last post anyway. And you know, Tenshi isnt that mediocre or we wouldnt be discussing her in depth. Thats just my opinion. I didnt like Tenshi at all. So im not some fan defending her. To me this is all just common sense.
Alla
Aug 5th, 2007
Let me just quote Salome for a second: “Don’t rise to the bait – there will be many who will want to see you fall back into your old form so they can say “See – told you – she’s just the same.” It will get easier to ignore them the more you take the high road and prove them wrong.”
She couldn’t have said it better.
There are people who will continue to hold grudges, and in fact, some of those people…the nicer you get the less satisfied they will be.
Tenshi, just don’t let it get to you and don’t hesitate to feel 100% validated to pat yourself on the back for doing what you did. You weren’t backed into any corners and your genuine intentions can be felt in what you have written.
Cristiano Midnight
Aug 5th, 2007
No matter what the reason behind doing so, making a very public apology and owning your actions is never an easy thing, and should not be taken lightly. No, it does not instantly heal all wounds or make things right. However, it is an important step to take – and those sitting back anonymously ripping it apart don’t have the courage to speak out in their own name and only want to keep strife going. It took a lot for Tenshi not only to apologize, but to acknowledge what she saw in herself and to own her actions. Yeah, what she did sucked and hurt people. However, fuck anyone who tries to undermine her apology with further drama – that is just low. She is taking steps to try to make thing right – very few things are unforgiveable. Certainly in the grand scale of things, some hurtful things posted on the intarweb certainly does not rise to the level of unforgiveable. Ultimately, those who are being apologized to have to make up their own minds on whether to let go and forgive, or to not. Tenshi can’t change the past – none of us can, we can only own our action and move forward. That is what she did here, and I commend her for it.
Trinity Dejavu
Aug 5th, 2007
Its a good start
Ian Betteridge
Aug 5th, 2007
I posted this before, but I think comments were acting up: well done Tenshi.
And as for Reality:
“What’s the message that you’re trying to spread here? That you can behave like an absolute cunt (to use one of Tenshi’s favorite words) and get away with it so long as you come to terms with your cuntiness and apologize later on?”
If Tenshi took your advice, she’d carry on acting like a cunt. Is that a better option?
Anonymous
Aug 5th, 2007
It’s interesting to see the trend on these comments:
First a wave of people congratulating her,
Then one anonymous commenter stirs the pot,
Everyone else starts questioning her sincerity,
And then there’s a wave of people being “too big” to stoop to that level, but still questioning her sincerity.
You know, without us anons, you guys really would have no balls.
dannyboy lightfoot
Aug 5th, 2007
I have nothing much to do with SL fashion, but to my mind SL thrives as a community because serious residents gradually develop the same accountability for our SL personas as we have in RL, and this ultimately requires each of us to take some degree of responsibility for our words and actions.
Posting comments anonymously seems to me to imply that you’re saying something you wouldn’t be prepared to defend or justify in person, or to be openly accountable for. It weakens your argument and undermines your agenda, especially when your remarks are already so overtly provocative. And you tell us you’re the ones with ‘balls’?! By all means get your pound of flesh, but please don’t expect to be applauded for it.
Observer
Aug 5th, 2007
And Tenshi’s first reputable article was ……on Mercury?
Not a good start, Tenshi.
Seeing how Mercury is full of deceit and self promotion on your own blog….I would avoid Mercury like the plague. Apparently someone on SCD agreed, as the article was pulled, but still visible on Fashionplanet.
Anonyous
Aug 5th, 2007
I wish every one of you would remember a little piece of doggerel.
Those who can, do – those who can’t, teach – those useless at both of the above, criticise (ie. become critics).
Iris Ophelia
Aug 5th, 2007
It’s not a quick fix, and you really have made sour impressions in the past, but this is a very VERY mature and respectable message, Tenshi. Send out positivity and you’ll recieve it too. Um… *reads some earlier comments* … It’s not immediate, but you know what I mean. ^^; Like Salome said, really. Be the foam on the latte and rise to the top, catch yourself if you find yourself falling back into old habits, and I wish you all the best in doing so.
Shelley McGhee
Aug 5th, 2007
Bri got an apology, but after seeing how Tenshi treated Salome Strangelove….she almost deserves one as well. Great post by Salome, as she could have kicked while Tenshi was down, but took the high road…a road that Tenshi should take from now on.
Jury’s still out on this, but it’s at least a step in the right direction.
But still, at least one more public apology is warranted.
like_ummm
Aug 6th, 2007
the only interesting (albeit distasteful) thing about tenshi was that she was such a bitch. what’s she gonna do now? go back to being boring and stupid? good luck with that. i look forward to the new boring and stupid articles.
Kaya Lemay
Aug 6th, 2007
I think Tenshi had every right to call Esmerelda Oh out for copying Paper Couture’s stuff (and anyone who does blatant rip offs for that matter). Esmerelda was copying their glasses prim by prim with the original ones set out right in front of her as she did this.
But to then turn around and promote Mercury Couture (her friend’s clothing biz) which is essentially also a Paper Couture rip off is just bizarre and dissengenuous. Tenshi has more than a few things to be ashamed of but hopefully she’ll turn this around.
Observer
Aug 6th, 2007
Her twitter account reads:
Hey, people are jackasses. Like we hadn’t already figured that one out this week.
Re: Jackass: I wasn’t talking about myself. >_>
So apologizing, then going back to calling people jackasses this week. Here we go again.
Tiffany Wilder
Aug 7th, 2007
to Observer,
I am pretty sure she was talking about the anonymous posters such as yourself who were flaming her etc. I know I consider them all jackasses, hiding behind an anon tag simply gives any statement by you or any of the others no credence whatsoever. And the hateful, spiteful, envious statements by these anonymous posters without giving the benefit of the doubt is pathetic. If she proves herself to be unable to change her spots then fine, but wait until she does do that at least, the twitter account does not show any of that
So yes people are jackasses (see my 1st statement) and yes we did figure it out this week yet again. She is 100% right in that statement.
Daniel Smith
Aug 7th, 2007
Tiffany, unless the name you are posting with is your real life name – you too are anonymous, as is tenshi or anyone else using a Second Life name.
Sorry, that’s the reality of the situation. You do not get to complain about an anonymous poster if you’re not using a real name to post.
Observer
Aug 7th, 2007
No credence? No. No trust in her ‘changed ways’. Why leave myself open for attack by her? She clearly attacks people for the wrong reasons. I don’t want to be lumped in there with the rest of the ‘innocents’. Until — she changes her ways, will I name myself. So far, I don’t see that happening.
Morgana Fillion
Aug 7th, 2007
Daniel, that right there is why I don’t even understand the point of “Anonymous” – make up a name, use it consistently. There – you get to retain your anonymity and we can tell you apart from the other ten million (or two – how do we know) anonymous posters.
The only reason I can see for not doing that is to give the impression that there are many many people talking when it’s really only a couple. And that’s a pretty lame reason.
But the excuse offered (“I’m staying anonymous so Tenshi can’t harrass me.”) makes no sense since there are still ways to identify which posts are written by the same person without giving up who that person is in SL or RL.