SL Military Yiff ‘N Tell

by Alphaville Herald on 21/10/08 at 10:54 pm

“At least you weren’t recording this or anything”

by Pixeleen Mistral, National Affairs desk & Vegna Fouroux, military correspondent

Christoph Naumova – leader of the Vanguard Militia – has been frantically denying he was involved in a fur phone sex seduction posted to YouTube last week. At stake is Mr. Naumova’s reputation and leadership authority, now threatened by the emo yiffing documented on YouTube — a gay fur scene that might undermine his authority as supreme leader of the Vanguard military.

You want to spend all night with fennecy? Rawr… narf… nahm nahm… are you pawing?

Under the leadership of Mr. Naumova, the Vanguard military has developed a win-at-all-costs reputation which apparently led the Merczateers military to mount a counterattack via the newest weapon of mass reputation destruction – YouTube.

The YouTube video was apparently posted by Uildiar Kuhn – a prominent member the Merczateers. Herald reporter Vegna Fouroux contacted Mr. Kuhn for comment:

Vegna Fouroux: Many members have claimed it was a fake, in all honesty now, was it?
Uildiar Kuhn: no

Unfortunately, Uildiar Kuhn has been reluctant to discuss the video at length in-world, citing concerns about abuse report wielding Vanguard members, and ban-happy Linden GTeam game gods. Members of the Vanguard military who have not left in disgust are more willing to talk, as The Herald found on a visit to their base:

Tyenshinsi Takaaki: We all know its completely fake

Vegna Fouroux: How did the group come to the conclusion that this video was a fake?
Tyenshinsi Takaaki: We know christophs voice better then normal
BigBoss Zabelin: That isn’t his voice
Tyenshinsi Takaaki: ive known christoph since i join sl

Vegna Fouroux: so you remain convinced it was an attempt at defamation?
Tyenshinsi Takaaki: yes and i wouldnt say attempt
Tyenshinsi Takaaki: all it did was to attempt to make vg members to lose respect for him
Tyenshinsi Takaaki: ive been imed numerous times about the video and each time they think that its fake too. even enemy militaries think its fake. it just goes to prove that people out there are just emo’s that have nothing better to do with their lives then make fake videos.

What would motivate either a real fur phone seduction or – as the Vanguard faithful claim – a fake seduction clearly aimed at diminishing Mr. Naumova’s moral authority and leadership abilities?

When asked about motivations, land baron and Merczateer intLibber Bratigan told the Herald, “Christoph’s approach to combat has always been to utterly destroy groups. not just friendly fun combat games, he believes in total war and he’s tried to do that in the past, he got a guy into Armory Island employee group so he could steal copies of Operations’ vendors. He got a Mercz officer to defect and hypnotized him into open sourcing all the weapons he built for Mercz. He’s repeatedly tried to undermine the economic basis of mercz, and led false ageban AR campaigns against other military leaders and he’s also encouraged all the copybotting of military weapons the past 6 months.”

Was the YouTube seduction real – or virtual? In the hall of mirrors that is teh interwebs we may never know the truth.

72 Responses to “SL Military Yiff ‘N Tell”

  1. Madeira

    Oct 29th, 2008

    Best thing ever. That’s all I have to say, completely hilarious.

  2. Salone Runo

    Oct 29th, 2008

    Uh.. Why are all you pussies not putting your full SL names?

    I look through the list of comments and see a bunch of little nicknames.. Has Christoph done something for you or you know one day you would like to join VG? This video is not Christoph and if you have been in Vanguard for a month you would see the leadership passes any other in a military.

    Don’t be such fgts.

  3. mootykips

    Oct 30th, 2008

    >Four past leaders of the PN in succession who all turned out to be closet furfags


  4. Zrazor Rozenstrauch

    Oct 30th, 2008

    “I look through the list of comments and see a bunch of little nicknames.. Has Christoph done something for you or you know one day you would like to join VG?”


  5. A furry named D.

    Nov 2nd, 2008


    I have tried to reply on your comment but for some reason, it wont show up. I dont use any ‘banned’ words, so I think it’s someone who checks the comments before they are posted, doesnt like what I have to say or something.

    I dont feel like typing it all out again either, so I’ll just leave it at this: you use the words ‘you all’ alot. That’s my problem, there is no ‘you all’ when you’re talking about ANY group in SL (or in RL for that matter).

    We’re a bunch of individuals, just like ‘you all’ :)

  6. baaaaw

    Nov 2nd, 2008

    What a bunch of furry baaaaw…

  7. Ethan Schuman

    Nov 2nd, 2008

    Yes it’s official. Christoph is crap. SHUT UP EYE!

  8. anon

    Nov 4th, 2008

    Isnt it about time we had a decent article in this section, come on caine where are you? New AN base may be worth reviewing?

  9. Maks Vendetta

    Nov 4th, 2008

    I don’t know about y’all, but Christoph’s phone adventure is softcore in comparison to the activities of Ordo furries. I’ve come across many Ordo profiles with associations to groups such as “furry impregnation,” “yiff factory,” “watersports,” and other obscene interests. The drive behind this video is plain insecurity.

    Not all Ordo personnel with their unsightly corruptions of an avatar roll with this shit, but there’s a visible demographic. I cannot produce statistics to support my statement, however I strongly suggest others to view for themselves and let those group lists populate. I do warn the group charters are not suitable for sensitive readers.

  10. Loyal Ordo

    Nov 4th, 2008

    Coming from the guy who uses heavily modified old ordo armor……


    Nov 5th, 2008

    Hahaha DamionStJames Webb likes pregnant dudes, Karlhockey Forte is a purple trap with assburgers syndrome, and Sera Otoro is a crazy foot-fetish dragon.

    Snowmew has nothing on that shit.

  12. Maks Vendetta

    Nov 5th, 2008

    “Coming from the guy who uses heavily modified old ordo armor……”

    If the armor I assume you are referring to is the Warfighter gear I never finished, it’s not “heavily modified Ordo armor.” The creator of the Ordo armor, Demo Radio, a friend of mine was present when I assembled such set.

    I assume it’s Katsuhito Tal speaking anyways.

  13. Zrazor Rozenstrauch

    Nov 6th, 2008

    I like how Ordo people never post on here using their actual names.

  14. A furry named D.

    Nov 6th, 2008

    “What a bunch of furry baaaaw…”

    Good boy! you can string words together to a sentence.

    Now, run along and let us grownups talk. It’s not like you have anything intelligent to add.

  15. mootykips

    Nov 6th, 2008


    lollin hard. you’re all a bunch of self-diagnosed aspie manchildren.

  16. Vegna Fouroux

    Nov 7th, 2008

    mootykips, do you ever stop lollin? :D

  17. mootykips

    Nov 8th, 2008

    some may say the lols stop. not me. they are crazy. except for that one time back in 1982 where the lollin briefly stopped due to an electrical grid failure, it will go on forever.

  18. A furry named D.

    Nov 11th, 2008

    “lollin hard. you’re all a bunch of self-diagnosed aspie manchildren.”

    Good boy! you can string words together to a sentence.

    Now, run along and let us grownups talk. It’s not like you have anything intelligent to add.

  19. Zrazor Rozenstrauch

    Nov 13th, 2008

    A furry named D, I think you need to come up with some new jokes.

  20. mootykips

    Nov 13th, 2008


    20 GOTO 10

    oh my god! its the same as PROKOFY.BAT!

  21. mootykips

    Nov 13th, 2008

    Sorry, I just realized I mean .BAS. I haven’t done BASIC programming since I was like 8. My sincerest apologies for that file extension mixup. I take solace in the fact that while my e-reputation is probably forever ruined for that inexcusable mistake, you enjoy fucking animals so much you feel the need to put it in your name field.

  22. A furry named D.

    Nov 13th, 2008

    You thought I was trying to be funny?

    No, I’m just responding to these comments in the way that is most suited for them…

    If someone wants to be treated like a child by obviously acting as childish as possible, then who am I to deny them that?

    However, if someone wants to discuss in a serious manner I’m all for that. Replies like the above “lols you guyse, furreh is teh stoopid” will get the standard copypasta as that is the only trouble they’re worth. (read: nothing)

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