Linden Lab To Print L$ Spacebux For “Linden Prize”
by Alphaville Herald on 12/11/08 at 11:44 pm
Plywood cubes may also be available
by Curious Rousselot
It was November 10th 2008 when Robin Linden realized that there was only one way to make all this grief and protesting over price hikes go away. The Lab would have to offer *Big Prize Money* to some lucky resident for their most excellent contribution to the world as a whole, using Second Life as the tool or medium, or at least related to second life in some way. Because, as we all know, residents of Second Life have the attention span of a gnat and so they will forget all the recent nastiness when they learn about this fantastic competition.
What exactly is happening? Well our beloved game gods are going to bless some lucky avatar with 10,000 US Dollars in Linden dollars. And what, do you have to do to win that? Well basically use Second life in some world altering way before January 15, 2009 and document it in obnoxious detail. Oh ya, you will also have to sell your soul to the Lab so they can experiment on it. Or, as it was put in the contest details:
* In order make the results of the competition accessible to our worldwide audience, Linden Lab may engage in a public relations campaign aimed at particular media outlets (press, radio, TV and Internet).
* Finalists and the winner may be asked to participate in Linden Lab marketing events, including press releases, award ceremonies, and media interviews, as appropriate.
Over on SLUniverse, on of the most influential and innovative residents of Second Life, Trout Recreant, has already submitted his registration and receive the typical Linden response. As he said in his own words,
just got this in the mail (I’m lying – no such thing happened)
I have no idea where it came from (still lying).
I certainly didn’t write it (yes, I did)
At any rate I’m crushed that I won’t be winning the Linden Prize this year (no, I’m not. I didn’t nominate myself either). This letter pretty much destroys that dream (complete fabrication)
And of course, the letter itself…
Dear Mr. Recreant (if that is in fact your real name):
Hi. It’s us again. The Lindens. We want to thank you for taking the time to nominate yourself for the Linden Prize, our first ever $10,000 prize for the person who has done the most to do stuff for some undefined group of people who may or may not have benefitted from whatever he or she did. We are both honored and proud to inform you that you have absolutely no chance whatsoever of winning this award. In fact, we aren’t even considering your nomination.
In your nomination, you mentioned the following activities that you feel have enhanced the lives of our residents: “Slut ratings, Bollywood videos, free biplane rides for orphaned prim babies, and something you refer to as “Letters from the Lindens” which we have referred to our legal department. To be perfectly frank, these sorts of degenerate activities were not what we had in mind. In fact, Robin is still quite cross with you following your posting of an unsolicited slut rating where you a) declined to call her a slut, and b) alleged at least one act of debauchery that did not ever occur. She wasn’t thrilled that you asked her to restock the toilet paper in the Linden men’s room either.
More importantly than the fact that you traumatized a senior staff member is the fact that the activities listed in your self-nomination have done nothing to increase the value of our stock. You have yet to try to impress our business accounts by directing one of these “Letters from the Lindens” to a major corporate sponsor, such as IBM, Sun Microstuff, or Mouseworld (don’t even think about it – remember: LAWYERS). Additionally, although you claim to have stimulated the economy of Second Life in a significant way, the only example you gave of doing so was “tipping strippers”.
Finally, when we talk about charitable contributions to Second Life, we mean donating time, effort, and funds to organizations like Medicins Sans Frontiers, Relay for Life, Heifer International, and other organizations. We cannot consider “Free Biplane Rides for Orphaned Prim Babies”, “Dancing with Noob Chicks”, and “The Trout Recreant Prim Penis Fund” to be legitimate charitable endeavors.
While we acknowledge that your contribution to Second Life, while decidedly odd, has resulted in what you colloquially refer to as “lulz with a z”. We can hardly consider it worthy of an actual reward, unless that reward comes in the form of an IP ban. We’ll make you a deal, however. If you knock that shit off, and we mean it, we’ll give you a trophy that you can proudly display in your Second Life home. That will be great for you, because we are placing you on house arrest. The next time you log in, you will notice ban lines around your property facing in.
xxxooo,
Brokendreams Linden.
Sinden Lucks
Nov 13th, 2008
“Well our beloved game gods are going to bless some lucky avatar with 10,000 US Dollars in Linden dollars.”
SL isn’t a game, but I understand your point.
Doesn’t sound lucky to me. Sounds like Linden wants to use people and pay them a garbage wage like they always do. Why not 10K in USD period? All this does is allow the winner to purchase over priced simulators or cash out over time at a substantially lower amount as advertised.
Sounds like they need Bernanke on their team. They would get along just fine. Both think they can print their way out of their shambles and misdeeds.
WAT?!
Nov 13th, 2008
YOU ARE SAYING THE TROUT RECREANT PRIM PENIS FUND ISN’T A LEGITIMATE CHARITABLE ENDEAVOR?!??!?!?!?!?!
I AM SHOCKED AND APPALLED,SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trout
Nov 13th, 2008
I was as dismayed and disappointed as everyone. I poured my heart and soul into looking at racy pictures, carefully placing fake subtitles on clips of Bollywood movies, fabricating letters from fictitious Lindens and all sorts of general debauchery. It’s not like I put on that ape suit and strafed Ahern in a freebie biplane because I wanted to. I did it for the little people. Why? Because I care, that’s why. They never said the contribution to Second Life had to be “legitimate” or “positive”.
(on a serious note, thank you! This article made my day!)
true entertainment
Nov 13th, 2008
now I have to admit, that linden response letter is some Masterful stuff!
fuck the 10 grand!
you win something priceless and more valuable
RESPECT
for thoughtful writing
Witty too
; )
Salone Runo
Nov 13th, 2008
Lol at them paying lindens instead of real money.
Theres going to be a lot of people doing fantastic things to help SL and only one or a few of them will get this reward? Retarded.
Pappy Enoch
Nov 16th, 2008
Tippin’ knotty gals fo’ takin’ they clothes off am mo’ of a corntribution tu the economy than them Lindens been a-makin’ by running folks off’n there home-places in the fake wirld.
Still, 10,000 am sum LONG (fake) green! I wood settul fo’ Wal-Mart coopons. I needs mee nex’ year’s sooply o’ tawlet papur fo’ the outhouse.
Kum to think on it, why don’t them Linden go-rillas jus’ print up them 10,000 AS tawlet papur! By Jingo, that am sum’fin a po’ boy KIN actumerlly USE.
Johney Giano
Dec 8th, 2011
Real $(USD) is better. Bolster SL and its economy. I agree with Salone.