The Return of Jumpman Lane

by Alphaville Herald on 25/01/09 at 6:45 pm

Suspended over the summer by LL – the coolest guy in SL plans to resurrect SlutMag

by Alessandra Narayan


Some call him controversial, others say he’s just nuts, hated, loved, worshiped, Jumpman Lane, owner of the pornographic/erotic Slut Magazine, calls himself King of Second Life, the coolest man on SL, does what he wants, respects no rules, insults everyone when he wants to and points women and sex as the best thing SL has to offer. After being banned by LL, Jumpman Lane, the ‘enfant terrible’ is back, willing to bring back to life his magazine preferably keeping himself away from problems with the Lab.

Alessandra Narayan (AN) – What have you been up to recently?
Jumpman Lane (JL) – Recently I’ve sobered up RL since the holidays and once again have set about to resurrect Slut Magazine.

AN – Do you think it’s possible to be suspended from SL again?
JL – Sure but now that I have Zara Linden on my friends list (I’m a social climber) it’s harder for the average SL tard user to get me in trouble because they don’t know how to write ars for one and my points have gone down. Each year the Gteam lets you start with a clean slate, they don’t care what you did the previous year.

AN – The Gteam?
JL – Governance team. Your readers know them (lol).

AN – Would you enjoy being suspended again?
JL – Oh hell no! See, I’m doing business with a RL porn photographer and I really need to be online in order to help develop his sims.

AN – But you seem to have quite fun to be suspended… bugging LL… Love to piss them off?
JL – Noooo! I put my foot in Torley Linden’s crack because he started it all with me. I got in a little trouble with Amber Linden because I went to be a mentor when she ran that and somebody got a little snotty. Everybody knows Torley vandalized my SL wiki page.

AN – And then you said Torley Linden was a man playing an SL female AV?
JL – Apparently everybody knew that but no one knew why (lol). It’s because he wanted to be like the LADY who owns this house. They were pals way back in the beginning of SL and she booted him off her list, because he was creepy. And if you google him you can find an old interview on some long dead blog here he gushed about her. But I ain’t messing’ with Torley anymore. He likes to abuse his power for revenge.

AN – What do you enjoy the most on SL?
JL – Sex of course. And stirring up trouble. And getting a rise out of retards and turd buckets, land manager flunkies, retards that got tricked into working as mall cop on some turd turdy club who bans you just to use the ban eject. They are the worst. I personally don’t go to clubs unless I’m friends with the owner.

AN – You seem to have been born to be suspended, booted, etc. It happens to you lots?
JL – I get banned a lot from dumps because I do what I want to do. I got booted once for t’pin to gorean dump and just asking "hey why are you sliding all across the floor?’ to some chick. Nobody said nothing, just sent me flying.

AN – So, what things do you respect?
JL – Respect? Ya lost me… see, I’m Jumpman Lane. I do what I want to do.

AN – For example: you land in a place of RP, where there are rules, you just do what you want anywhere?
JL – Oh geeze! I discard that crap without even reading the stuff. Screw rules! Rules are for the weak. I got balls like bowling balls.

AN – And when you get kicked you think it’s unfair?
JL – Well, no. One time I told this sim owner’s wife the last time I saw her she had a dick in her mouth, a dick in her ass, a dick in her pussy and a dick in each hand. I got booted and banned that time. I figure I deserved it.

AN – So, the majority of SL players suck?
JL – Noooooooooo! Take for example the average girl player over say a year old. She’s shopped till she dropped and made her AV super hot.

AN – So basically, besides hot chicks… you’re one of the few cool characters in SL, right?
JL – I’m king of Second life. That’s in my profile.

AN – Why?
JL – I’m one of the coolest guys if not the coolest.

AN – Why?
JL – Because the average SL male player is some nerdy white guy or somebody’s grandpappy. They don’t get enough flavor. It’s why they don’t understand the things I say at times like in the SL forums. They didn’t get half the crap said there.

62 Responses to “The Return of Jumpman Lane”

  1. Jumpman Lane

    Feb 1st, 2009

    @ professor c bitch! suck a dick and get the balls too!hehehehe you stink bitch! dont nobody care about all that shit u typed! did ya really expect meh to read it!

    @ we i read urs though we! (who aint meh!) I AM the coolest motherfucker onthe grid and alla the grid knows it. i mean who the fuckare u. TROLL is an internet meme! in theend you remain a chump and i remain Jumpman Lane so it dunsna matter what u turd buckets type. I’m still THE MAN in your second life!

  2. Professor C

    Feb 2nd, 2009

    @ Jumpman

    Evidently you tried but just couldn’t understand a word of it. I suppose that you just need to go back to school and get a better education.

  3. Jumpman Lane

    Feb 2nd, 2009

    if ya aint gone talk no shit
    dawg who ya talkin to
    7:30 in the kitchen Nay Nay bout to go to school (Nay! Nay!)
    saturday I’m cookin chickens mama bout to go to work
    sunday Jumpy cookin chigkens granny bout to go to work

  4. The Real SL KING

    Jul 15th, 2009

    @ DumpMan Lame the

    …. ___//___?____\________


    ..\…………….. /……..\………………/

  5. IntLibber Brautigan

    Mar 8th, 2010

    WB Jumpman,
    LOL I called it didn’t I, over a year ago? Teen grid getting merged into the main grid, everybody denied it would happen. Hope your mag doesn’t get wiped out by the morality police.

  6. isoz

    Mar 8th, 2010

    “White nerdy?”
    that sounded black

  7. Jumpman Lane

    Mar 8th, 2010

    nice new herald look, i reckon im the herald poster boy or somthing now hehehehehehe.

    @int shit i hope not too we’re havin a barrel of laffs

  8. Deadlycodec

    Mar 10th, 2010

    Haha! This guy’s slogan is “some porn for your ass”. Classy.

  9. Muziekfreak1980 miles

    Apr 9th, 2010

    Bwhahaha….i hope the ban him soon like the did with his slut employee. Shame that LL did not permban him..i got time.

    Go on P diddy HUMPMAN, fake ganstah lool…go on make remarks abut the dutch. Live up to your name as a typical american! LOLZ

  10. Miss J

    Apr 9th, 2010

    He tries to hard. She was a raging slut retard. They both should be banned in my opinion.

  11. Jumpman Lane

    May 6th, 2010

    Deadly u aint dead yet? Muzicfreak u live in a mf’s nut hairs DONT ya! hehehehe

  12. Jumpman Lane

    May 6th, 2010

    Fall dead Ms J! U dont run nothin round no where! Veronica2vixen Devoix was a noted SL journalist (Avastar reporter and Slut Mag Exec) who discovered Cheergirl Allen was a closet sub who learnt to like it ruff gettin gangbanged in the Israeli army. AND TOLD ME! Oh Well…

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