by Alphaville Herald on 11/05/09 at 10:31 pm
by Lapis Philosophorum
Reading "The Wanderer's" Gor series, there is an overarching concept that truly bothers me. The Wanderer writes that he will not besexually using or abusing the female slaves of Gor because it is morethan likely that there could be some gay guy fapping in the background — an all too common concern for those considering cybersex.
Is the person who you are cybersexing the person you thinkthey are? Are you sure? Really?
You might think s/he's dreamy, but s/he could bereally ugly, a different religion, too old, too young, the wrong race, species, or even a Tory. Despite these frightful possibilities, many people are even more concerned with the gender of the typist behind the avatar, worrying that if the person onthe other side of the screen is not the same gender as presented it makes you something else – either forcedhomosexuality if the typist matches your gender or forcedheterosexuality if the person behind the avatar does not. Horrors!
Of course, this is one ofthose issues that being bisexual solves – but perhaps are not bi — now what?
Take a deep breath and think. For the personconcerned, how does any of this change things? Just because the Master youthink is sexy turns out to be a woman, it doesn't make you lesbian. Women real-life typists role-playing Gorean mastershas happened more frequently on Gor than the other way around. Take a deep breath and remember youwere attracted to the image of a man on your screen. Thata woman was writing his lines doesn't magically change who you are attracted to. This also appliesif you are attracted to someone who you think is a woman, but turns outto be a man — it doesn't make you less gay and magically straightbecause the person you thought you were in love with was a man.
Ihave heard comedians joke about how if they were a female escort andtheir client was a woman running the male avatar, that's the onlyheterosexual sex that they have.
The important point is that for each participant, the sexualexperience is different. If the man on the other side immerses himselfas a woman, then when he has cybersex with a man, its not gay sex, itsheterosexual sex, a woman having sex with a man. That immersed woman,when having sex with a woman, doesn't make it straight, it makes itlesbian.
Of course, if the man on the other side of the screen is justmanipulating the woman to have sex, then he isn't gay, he's a pornwriter/animator — if a man was gay in RL and wanted to havesex with men on SL, he would have sex with men on SL as a man.
This simpleconcept is largely ignored due to the scare of finding outthat your girlfriend is really a guy and that might make you gay –except it doesn't. There would be feelings of betrayal andhurt, but in the end, that person who you had cybersex with is areal as anything else on the Internet. Just because they might notmatch your gender expectations doesn't change you or your identity.