Estonia Annexed As Soviet Woodbury Expands !!!

by Pixeleen Mistral on 09/04/10 at 12:10 pm

Over the last 24 hours, Soviet Woodbury annexed both the Estonia and Animation sims to double the land under Soviet control – a grim confirmation of the worst fears of Kalel Venkman’s Justice League Unlimited vigilantes and their allies in Second Life.

Estonia Annexed - LindenWorld blocked from connecting to Glorious Future sim
Estonia Annexed – LindenWorld blocked from connecting to Glorious Future sim

Is this only the beginning of a nightmarish MMO griefer-collectivist attack on the serious business of Second Life? Why won’t M Linden curb the hyper-aggressive tendentious techno-communist running-dog expansionist impulses of the Woodbury faction’s politburo? Will the Lindens provide virtual land to almost anyone willing to pay? Who will drive the role play anime communists out of the woodpile?

I visited Soviet Woodbury earlier today seeking answers to these vexing questions.

As I arrived, a flying communist shark was circling overhead – something like the fully armed flying moose of the Jessie sim wars. It was immediately clear that the Woodbury faction is on a war footing — and modeling new uniforms. Could this be part of a recruiting drive?

girls and rodents in uniforms after communist flying shark lands
girls and rodent in uniforms after communist flying shark lands

Woodbury Commissar Tizzy Teardrop told me, “by the time Woodbury’s phase 2 rollout is complete, we will have most of the SSR territories”. We may be witnessing the beginning stages of a balkanized virtual world – but how will the Soviet Woodbury faction control the expanding empire?

low-lag LOLcube minigun
low-lag LOLcube minigun

One clue came from weapons maker Epacsten Subagja who demonstrated an improved version of the ES163 Minigun which features LOLcube color strobe animations and fires randomly shaped projectiles which inflict 100 damage in damage-enabled land — not the sort of thing that the current Linden marketing team has in mind, but less creepy than raising pretend virtual children in Second Life as the most recent Linden e-mail seems to suggest.

The Lab hopes you will spend time in your Linden home raising virtual children
The Lab hopes you will spend time in your Linden home raising virtual children

The contrast between the Lab’s promotion of virtual life in suburban tract housing and the more nuanced stories the player communities create for themselves points to the real battle in Second Life – a struggle for narrative control of the experience. Is mass adoption of Second Life more likely from recapitulating real life in the virtual realm or the sort of ironic magical realism the Soviet Woodbury group pursues?

The popularity of World of Warcraft despite it’s lack of suburban homes implies M Linden may have pointed the Lab in the wrong direction – perhaps it is time to hire the Woodbury group to help promote the product. Even a rough cut of the Soviet Woodbury video trailer looks more interesting than what the Linden leadership is peddling


ironic magical realism – Soviet Woodbury trailer

33 Responses to “Estonia Annexed As Soviet Woodbury Expands !!!”

  1. OneSong Solo

    Apr 9th, 2010

    I am
    I LIVE
    I am Here.

  2. Gaara Sandalwood

    Apr 9th, 2010

    Yay. It finally happened. Been waiting for this.

  3. TrinityDejavu

    Apr 9th, 2010

    Yeah, The happy pretend family image coming from the lab made me double take. Isn’t SL about escapism, about not recreating your dull boring 2 up 2 down life in all its detail on screen, unless you already live in a magical soviet insane asylum ….

    M Linden needs to take that gun he has been shooting all the talented Lab staff with and turn it on himself.

  4. Wordfromthe Wise

    Apr 9th, 2010

    remember do not google ” pretend virtual children ”
    .. and where is Prok ? i lol`d

  5. Darien Caldwell

    Apr 9th, 2010

    For their next Ad, LL can show a tired, Overworked guy with his sleeves rolled up, working away at a problem in his Cubicle. Working in Virtual Worlds?

    I just realized SL must be an office planner’s dream. laying out row after row of unimaginative cubes is incredibly easy.

  6. Gaara Sandalwood

    Apr 9th, 2010

    I love how not only does it block the connection of LindenWorld, the system of the four sims connecting forms an L.

  7. Tux Winkler

    Apr 9th, 2010

    When I got this image in an email from the lab I thought two things:

    1. Either LL plan to drop the connection age and allow the youth in, or
    2. They have got rid of enough good staff they have a majority rule on the vote for allowing age play.

    Personally I don’t like child AV’s – any of them. It turns my stomach to think of a ‘grown up’ acting out a child fantasy.

    Anyways, I am glad Woodbury grows. Although, I am almost certain those suffering from Kalel Syndrome will be monitoring the ‘porch lights’ and (pa)trolling in their ‘heightened sense’. Hahaha, try AR partying someone for shooting you with LOL cubes in a private sim that allows it!

    Please, Oh please make superhero targets for messing with – XD.

  8. Edna

    Apr 9th, 2010

    We should have bombed the Russians when we had the chance. 99.9% of spammers on my sites and junk in my email comes from the Russians. Kiddie porn sites are run by Russians. The Russian Mob is very active here in the USA. Half of the hacking attempts on my sites come from Russian/former USSR countries. The Russians are giving Obama a hard time and starting up cold war era threats again. Now they are griefing Second Life. Can some please tell me a postive thing Russia is doing?

  9. corona anatine

    Apr 9th, 2010

    Personally I don’t like child AV’s – any of them. It turns my stomach to think of a ‘grown up’ acting out a child fantasy.

    ??
    Why
    it is their world their imagination
    if you find that the things done in SL make you naseous
    then perhaps you should quit

    EVERYTHING in SL will offend at least one person somewhere in the world.

    it is noticeable though that the linden lab picture of the ‘nuclear family’ conforms to California state’s homophobic marriage laws

  10. corona anatine

    Apr 9th, 2010

    or maybe the pic shows a nasty pedophile male atempting to abduct the little girl as the mother rushes out to try and prevent him

  11. corona anatine

    Apr 9th, 2010

    We should have bombed the Americans when we had the chance. 99.9% of spammers on my sites and junk in my email comes from the Americans. Kiddie porn sites are run by Americans. The American Mob is very active here in the USA. Half of the hacking attempts on my sites come from America/former US satellite countries. The Americans are giving Obama a hard time and starting up cold war era threats again. Now they are griefing Second Life. Can some please tell me a positive thing America is doing?

  12. run little kid run

    Apr 9th, 2010

    Da comrade little kid. Run like russian woodpecker. Neva let creepy linden zombies get you. Da comrade little kid, leave Second Life and Neva look back…

  13. Judge Joker

    Apr 9th, 2010

    Who owns LindenWorld T, P & P2 and is it actually Linden run and if so why is it next to Woodbury? are they keeping an eye on you?

    Or you keeping an eye on them? or is it just some Wannabe Lindens sim?

  14. Jumpman Lane

    Apr 9th, 2010

    That LL ad is small time creepy while ya bullshittin…is that Marianne Manne lol

  15. Gaara Sandalwood

    Apr 9th, 2010

    Woodbury should get a sim near Justice Island, if only for the fun reaction of it. ‘Cause I can sure bet that even if the JLU patrols places, they’d piss themselves and throw a fit if any WU related sim was erected near their watchtower.

  16. Darien Caldwell

    Apr 9th, 2010

    “Who owns LindenWorld T, P & P2 and is it actually Linden run and if so why is it next to Woodbury? are they keeping an eye on you?”

    Those are owned by Linden Lab. It’s where they hold their in-world meetings. When you buy a sim you can place it on any free space on the map. So likely Woodbury chose to put theirs next LL’s sims.

  17. Tux Winkler

    Apr 9th, 2010

    @ corona

    “Why
    it is their world their imagination”
    - Sure, but it still does not dispell the illness I feel when I see or hear a grown adult pretending to be a child.

    “if you find that the things done in SL make you naseous
    then perhaps you should quit”
    - It would seem LL have a force quit system in place under the guise of an administration error for just such a belief. Mysteriously I am locked out without any reason (and not banned). XD

  18. Meif Ling

    Apr 9th, 2010

    I object to the crappy picture you used. I was totally talking when you snapped it! >:|

  19. Sylauxe

    Apr 9th, 2010

    “I object to the crappy picture you used. I was totally yiffing when you snapped it! >:|” -Meif Ling

    Fixed that for you.

  20. Techno-communists of world, rejoice! Happy Woodbury cadre marches in lockstep to bring benighted virtual-Baltic state back into fold of global utopian vision of worker’s paradise! Virtual Latvia and Lithuania will be next in unstoppable triumph of the masses!

    Revanchist Linden plan for suburban-bourgeoisie plywood pablum to distract disgruntled blingtard lumpenproletariat will fail…Lindens will supply their own grave-diggers and smiling workers will sweep remnants into dustbin of prim-history!

    Comrade Break-Dancing Stalin is so overcome with proletarian solidarity that he erupts into spontaneous high-stepping folkloric dance, yes!

  21. Dark Angel

    Apr 10th, 2010

    I Love Soviet Woodburry, We do not support any type of illegal TOS violations, and violations should be reported to Mc Fizgig. We are a general simulator where users are allowed to express themself. The only biggest rule we have is Crashing the estate, or on purposely griefing everyone.

    We are Halfway skilled Designers, and Know more than what the general community of what SL Does, like Photoshop, Scripting, LSL, Programming ect. We are Considered Geeks and outcasts, so what.

    People hate us, mistake us all for griefers, We are not, Although some people who visit, may be caught Griefing a sandbox, or something, it is recomended you file an abuse report on that individual, NUFF Said.

    As for JLU they can back off, They are not welcome, NOR are JLU hiring INF Life Trolls to stalk us, Which just make copybotting worse.

  22. GothicAngel

    Apr 10th, 2010

    The reason I personally like Soviet Woodburry, is because they are mainly a bunch of geeks, creators, and nerds who enjoy doing funny stuff. Although some griefers may get into the group, or be part of Woodburry, or come from woodburry and crash other simulators, those people should be properly abuse reported and banned, but from everything I have witnessed Myself, SovietWoodburry is a great place.

    We have to respect the people who are there for who they are, and what they like to do, just becuase they have four simulators now does not mean they are going to do grid attacks, Its called being paranoid, and for one I trust Woodburry personal, and I Love them for who they are, You know why?

    Because they are geeks and stuff just like me, except they are more less into the Technical aspects of it, and Im more less the hardware kind of person.

    So yeah Being that CDS is ruining our community, and JLU, ect. I fully support them, and If I caught them violating TOS, I would abuse report it as the TOS states.

    However as for their Differences I sugguest that people respect their estates and what they do, and they will do the same I am sure.

  23. Gaara Sandalwood

    Apr 10th, 2010

    I love the place honestly. I mean, the way the JLU talks about WU they make it look/sound like a bunch of ner-do-wells constantly up to no good.

    Every time I’m in the sims I usually see the exact opposite. Scripting, building, etc.

    Epac even worked on a way to modify a gun so that it didn’t lag the immediate area.

    I’ve been trying to talk to GLE and others about this(trying to get back into interviewing them)but every time I’m online I almost never see him on.

    I can’t wait for whatever may coem next as well.

  24. woodbury revisited

    Apr 10th, 2010

    Watch this video in the high def mode full screen and you get an idea of some of the creativity coming out of Woodbury despite anything that excelsiorvenk might blather. An incredible amount of work must have gone into this FURRY PARODY set to ICP:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POod5hqmCgA

  25. GothGirl

    Apr 10th, 2010

    Thanks for the video, I myself was wondering what was up with the FIC, and Woodburry personal with all the new simulators…. I dont really get a lot of time active on sl anymore, or anything either.

    I Loved the Video, and I love you guys, and what you do, I think there is a good Future behind Woodbury, and Would Love to see the Epicness, and JLU’S WOWOMG Woodburry attack on the entire Grid, Because they Grew Bigger than US, and really I wonder why, all the conspiracies, the Slander about Woodbury, Come on guys, seriously I knew nothing about even a woodbury in SL, until I heard all the rumors then Decided to check it out myself, and saw how Great it was. OF Course I was trolled too at one point by Woodbury Haters spreading Rumors to all personal at Woodbury.

    As for JLU, I dont like them, I hate them, and I am glad you guys exposed them when you all did, I talked to Khael myself way back, and he supports systems like CDS & Banlinks which gives me even more reason for personal dislike of JLU.

  26. IntLibber Brautigan

    Apr 11th, 2010

    hahaha… LOL, love seeing the Peoples Soviet of Woodbury expanding. Eggzellent, the plan is proceeding perfectly…

    IntLibber Brautigan,
    Woodbury’s Jew Banker
    Member,
    Council on FICish Relations
    Trilulziness Commission
    The IntLibbergers

  27. Neo Citizen

    Apr 20th, 2010

    Apparently the Woodburyites WERE a bunch of ne’er-do-wells, considering what just happened.

  28. wut?

    Apr 21st, 2010

    Venkman, your cheshire cat grin is puking everyone out. Why don’t you just come out and tell everybody how you got all the Woodbury sims cancelled instead of acting like a faggot?

  29. [...] The website is intermittently down at the moment, so I can’t confirm these links to the many, many loving interviews that Ludlow and ‘Pixeleen Mistal’, his editor (and Internet [...]

  30. [...] guilt or otherwise of the WU; it’s easy to find stories of their alleged crimes, as well as more positive accounts of their activities. The bigger point is that a virtual world that purports to respect the values of bourgeois society [...]

  31. Dave Bell

    May 11th, 2010

    Suburban or Soviet?

    I know which looks more creative. It’s a pity the Suburban faction seem to be in control. Ah, well, they don’t have the good songs.

    Stand up, all victims of oppression
    For the tyrants fear your might
    Don’t cling so hard to your possessions
    For you have nothing, if you have no rights
    Let racist ignorance be ended
    For respect makes the empires fall
    Freedom is merely privilege extended
    Unless enjoyed by one and all

  32. [...] situation at high altitude in Sandvich: a recreation of Fort Longcat – a virtual museum of PN, Soviet Woodbury, 4Chan /b/tard memes. Shock!!! [...]

  33. Hvithalen

    Mar 4th, 2014

    This is probably about the time some respectable German-WWII enthusiasts should show up and kick some Bolshevik ass.

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