Second Life: Sex, Hair and Dancing!!!

by Alphaville Herald on 27/07/11 at 1:53 am

by Debbie

So, my friends all like my stories and want me to write about the normal stuff we do. That could get tedious, but I did have an interesting conversation the other day.

I was bitching to my friend about how slow and shitty SL is all the time. People are gray for a very long time and their textures are fuzzy for a long time a lot and sometimes it makes me want to just not log-on sometimes. So then she said she didn’t have any problems like that, except when she goes places with lots of people.

sexhairdancing1
Debbie seeking sex, hair, and dancing -- SL Designer Remix

Now, it could be a lot of my computer, it’s old and shitty. But I was dating a serious nerd when I bought it so I know it has enough gizmos and knickers to handle Second Life. It has for years, so I thought it might be that I do spend my time at a lot of crowded places.

So we got to comparing where we go, and she’s into the artsy, and says she visits all the places in the Destination Guide, and I’m like WTF is the destination guide and she says it’s a thing in the search box that lets you go to places that the Lindens like.

SLDestinationGuide
SL Destination Guide - party at the places the Lindens like?

I tend to hang out at nude beaches and dance clubs, and they get pretty full with people. I can’t imagine partying at places the Game Gods like, they must seriously rock!

Well, I had to see, and sure enough there is a destination guide. The first one I tried was a social place called Aphrodisiac, because it was supposed to be a beach and I like beaches. I tried to teleport several times and kept getting “Parcel Not Found”. Not a good start.

I popped to the next place on the list, Wet Willie’s Rock Club, and it was jammed with people. Hooooooooooo~! It was awesome! This Destination Guide must be the best thing ever! http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Star%20Academy%20Island/48/28/22

slwillies
Wet Willie’s Rock Club

I hopped to a bunch of different places, and my joy balloon popped. First we went to a place called Designers Remix, which is kind of a home show with homes and furniture and stuff. It was pretty cool but it was totally empty. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Designers%20Remix%201/250/134/24

slartinstallation
Aho Museum - but is it art?

Then we went to an Art thing called the Aho Museum. Again, it had some cool stuff but no one was there. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/NMC%20Campus%20West/249/127/23

Then we went to some other art thing called the LEA Theatre I didn’t understand at all and that was completely empty as well. I mean all this stuff is great, but who’s looking at it? If Art falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, is it still art? http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/LEA1/218/43/22

slleatheatre
Debbie and friend at LEA Theatre - hello girls!

So after three swings and misses I told my friend I was going to take her to three places I go to, show her that there are a lot of places that actually have avatars in them, and how she hangs out in loserville. Yes, fast rezzing graphics are great but it’s a lonely frickin’ world over there in Artville.

Well, she went with me to Wild Coast Naturist Resort but wouldn’t get nekkid and get on the beach, so that was no fun. This place is also so full of people they should hand you a machete at the door to cut through it. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/The%20Wild%20Coast/67/177/21

slwildcoast
some avatars skip the clothing layer at the Wild Coast Naturist Resort

Next we went to Truth Hair. I go to a lot of busy shops, but this one is always laggy and full of avies. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Truth%20Hair/113/35/28

sltruth 1
truth - or hair?

Finally we went to Bukkake Bliss and once she saw what it was she bailed. I explained that I was going to take pictures of her and me at all these places with the mini map for the Herald and she said no way, so I TP’d another friend in and we re-created the whole thing. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Bukkake%20Bliss%20Island/90/182/27

slbukkakkebliss
Bukkake Bliss is a hit or a miss depending on your tastes

So in conclusion, if you want to find people in Second Life go to a good club, or a good hair store, or a good sex place, depending on what sort of mood you’re in.

80 Responses to “Second Life: Sex, Hair and Dancing!!!”

  1. paul

    Jul 29th, 2011

    Oh Orca, Orca, Orca, you make it so easy!

    I always see, in your posts in here and in the sailing forums, you saying things like “arguing like an American” or “typical of an american man” and you mean it in an insulting way. I always wonder what that means, so I assume the way you debate, reason, or make an argument is supposed to be a good example of exemplary European Female logic.

    Ok, let’s see: You started your comment to me by saying “If you would learn how to read…”, which is just an insult, not a rational argument. It has no more substance then Faraden, when he screeched that the article was not satire with no argument or evidence at all. Of course I know how to read. You just assumed that I meant that you when I asked if any Europeans didn’t realize that this article was satire. That is interesting itself!

    So, is “screaming an insult at someone” the way a woman with a European education has a rational debate with someone? Is that what they teach in European schools? Or, European or female or not, are you just very poor at debate? Instead you have to resort to emotional histrionics and hurling insults because you have nothing else to work with?

  2. Senban Babii

    Jul 29th, 2011

    @Orca
    “As always you’re the voice of reason in this madhouse.”

    LMAO! If I’m the voice of reason, you might as well all lie on the floor with brown paper bags over your heads and await the end.

    @Paul
    “Senban, as our resident lecturer you should really offer a course of instruction in reading comprehension with an emphasis on satire. I think we all need it.”

    Nah, it’s the Herald. RAGE MOAR :3

    Seriously, it’s the Herald. Occasionally it’s home to a serious debate but mostly it’s a place for those with diseases of the mind to scream at the wall whilst urinating down each other’s legs.

    It’s why we love it <3

  3. FFS

    Jul 29th, 2011

    Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted at all.

    Senban… marry me! Its rare to find a woman who’s read the hitchhikers guide.

    Unless you only saw the movie, in that case I want a divorce!

  4. FFS

    Jul 29th, 2011

    Maybe, after reading Paul’s last comment, I should make a long bawwwwwpost about how sick and tired I am of all the Eurohate everywhere, complete with outrageous claims about how Europeans invented everything from sunshine to the mirochip and cars, complete with spelling errors. *trollface*

  5. Senban Babii

    Jul 29th, 2011

    @FFS
    “Senban… marry me! Its rare to find a woman who’s read the hitchhikers guide.

    Unless you only saw the movie, in that case I want a divorce!”

    There was no movie. It didn’t happen. Someone get me my therapist. I’m seeing the blue flashes again!

    /me hugs knees and rocks back and forth whimpering

    Second Life. Don’t talk to me about Second Life. Here I am with this terrible pain in all the prims down my left side and they want me to talk about Second Life. Hateful isn’t it.

    Hah! I’ve just realised something. Linden Lab is actually just the latest name for the marketing division of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, defined as “a bunch of mindless jerks who’ll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes”.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADrpS2aMLUM

  6. FFS

    Jul 29th, 2011

    I LOVE YOU SENBAN BE MY WAIFU!

    I promise you wont regret it. I’m a feminist (but hate feminazis), I’m totally in space sim games too and imho the only thing that can make a cute girl cuter is catears.

    And I have a sense of humor and most importantly I live on the good side of the atlantic.

  7. Senban Babii

    Jul 29th, 2011

    FFS comes to deliver the milk.

    A wild Senban appears!

    The ending, as always.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9YL0yHohts

    It could only end badly FFS, probably wrapped around a tree at 70mph on a lonely stretch of road in the third verse-type badly. You deserve better than to end up in a Shangri-Las song over some neko from the wrong side of the tracks just because she flies a cool internet spaceship :)

  8. FFS

    Jul 29th, 2011

    Butbutbut…. ;.;

    Bawwwwwwwwwwwwww. I iz sad nao.

  9. Debi Dastardly

    Jul 29th, 2011

    @Senban
    “Seriously, it’s the Herald. Occasionally it’s home to a serious debate but mostly it’s a place for those with diseases of the mind to scream at the wall whilst urinating down each other’s legs.

    It’s why we love it <3"

    I totally agree :)

  10. Dread Judge

    Jul 29th, 2011

    @Senban

    The Milkman Sketch!

    Well played.

  11. Orca Flotta

    Jul 29th, 2011

    Oh Orca, Orca, Orca, you make it so easy!
    I aim to please :)

    I always see, in your posts in here and in the sailing forums, you saying things like “arguing like an American” or “typical of an american man” and you mean it in an insulting way.
    Well, if you analyze al the posts it’s easy to find a pattern in american debating style. And pointing it out is in no way meant as an insult. How do you get to such a ridiculous conclusion? And btw, I left the friggin forum a while ago, in case you didn’t notice. And as it so happens it’s more or less dead now since Béa, Slanty and me took our hats and left in disgust.

    Ok, let’s see: You started your comment to me by saying “If you would learn how to read…”, which is just an insult, not a rational argument.
    Grrr, what I meant was “learn to read between the lines, see the context rather than the plain text. So again no insult, just a hint.

    You just assumed that I meant that you when I asked if any Europeans didn’t realize that this article was satire. That is interesting itself!
    Sorry, even after carefully reading that sentence for 3 or 4 times I stil fail to grasp its logic.

    So, is “screaming an insult at someone” the way a woman with a European education has a rational debate with someone? Is that what they teach in European schools? Or, European or female or not, are you just very poor at debate? Instead you have to resort to emotional histrionics and hurling insults because you have nothing else to work with?
    See, now that was interesting: A whole paragraph of text wasted on a false assumption and following with a false conclusion.
    Neither did I insult anyone, nor did I learn debating in a school, nor am I emotional in any way. In fact I’m sitting here mildly amused about all your combined efforts to bring me down. A guy too cowardísh to even post with his inworld name and protected by anonymity. You think you won any brownie points?
    I seriously recommend you back off now. I’m untouchable. At least untouchable by your mudslinging trollism.

  12. Paul

    Jul 29th, 2011

    Orca:
    If the pattern of the American debating style is easy to see, can you describe it without resorting to name-calling, insults, or emotional rants?

    You said:
    “See, now that was interesting: A whole paragraph of text wasted on a false assumption and following with a false conclusion. Neither did I insult anyone…”

    So, according to you, your statement “If you would learn how to read you’d know that it was me who acknowledged your notion of Debbie’s article being a satire, not Debi” was not an insult and was thus a ‘false assumption.’ I beg to differ.

    The statement says:

    “You do not know how to read” therefore “you were wrong about something”

    I may very well have been wrong about something, but it is not because I do not know how to read. Your argument could thus be characterized as

    “You are stupid” therefore “you were wrong about something”
    or
    “you are a DooDoo head” therefore “you were wrong about something”

    So I choose to characterize your statement as an “insult” because it attacks my intelligence and character rather then offering a rational argument. Obviously I know how to read.

    Let me help you out: Why don’t you rewrite your post to say, “Paul, I believe you failed to read between the lines and missed the point that I always recognized the article as satire.”

    See? Much more rational! However, it would still be wrong. Nowhere did I ever suggest that you did not recognize the article as satire, rather I asked a general question: “which Americans and Europeans failed to recognize the article as satire?” You then decided that I MUST have been talking about you!

    And finally, I have to ask, if you are “untouchable” why is it necessary that I “back off”. If you are “untouchable” shouldn’t it not matter at all what I say?

  13. Orca Flotta

    Jul 29th, 2011

    shouldn’t it not matter at all what I say?
    Oh. Yes, you’re right. Nothing of what you said does matter.
    And it’s not necessary to attack your intelligence and lack of character, you’re perfectly capable of doing it all by yourself.

  14. Paul

    Jul 29th, 2011

    Orca,
    you said “Oh. Yes, you’re right. Nothing of what you said does matter”

    did you write this before or after you asked me a bunch of questions on the other thread?

  15. Yep

    Jul 30th, 2011

    Paul seems to be a big fat meanie!

  16. Dread Judge

    Jul 30th, 2011

    It appears that Orca is fighting a two-thread war.

    That tended not to work well for the Germans in the world wars….

  17. Pappy Enoch

    Jul 30th, 2011

    Them-there things git any bigger, they am a-gonna fall off.

    Git pictures!

  18. Debi Dastardly

    Jul 30th, 2011

    @Dread Judge
    “It appears that Orca is fighting a two-thread war.

    That tended not to work well for the Germans in the world wars….”

    Socialist AKA communist only think their plan of slaughtering over 30 million people didn’t catch on because the evil Americans wouldn’t give it a chance.
    I think it is safe to say no one could accuse Orca of being a mental giant.

  19. GreenLantern Excelsior

    Jul 30th, 2011

    Protip: Debi Dastardly is cool.

  20. Yep

    Jul 30th, 2011

    And green is the color of mold.

  21. hobo kelly

    Jul 30th, 2011

    and mildew

  22. Orca Flotta

    Jul 30th, 2011

    Protip: Debi Dastardly is cool.

    No, she only plays cool. But in reality she, same as Paul …

    seems to be a big fat meanie!

    They both love to come up with some non-fitting, badly researched funfacts from 60 – 80 years ago to drive home their point about Orca’s being stupid today. So in fact they are not cool but whistling a cool tune in the dark cellar so nobody can hear them shiver and tremble.

    Even if they win this stupid internet discussion, they are losing badly. Guys, we don’t love you any more, just because you show what unlikeable people you are.

  23. paul

    Jul 30th, 2011

    *sob!*

  24. Obvious Schism

    Jul 30th, 2011

    Constructive debate. Incredible insights. Keeping on topic.

    This thread has everything!

  25. Debi Dastardly

    Jul 30th, 2011

    @Obvious Schism
    “Constructive debate. Incredible insights. Keeping on topic.

    This thread has everything!”

    LOL

  26. Debi Dastardly

    Jul 30th, 2011

    OMG I’m a meanie, oh my what will I do?

  27. archie

    Aug 1st, 2011

    Don’t forget the two elephants in the room that no-ones mentioned.

    Those tits must give you curvature of the spine, what’s your secret?

  28. fararden

    Aug 1st, 2011

    @Archie:

    Strawberry short cake needs a prim boob reduction.

    I think if you use a pin you might be able to pop those things.

  29. LOL

    Aug 16th, 2011

    “…I was bitching to my friend about how slow and shitty SL is all the time…”

    This is News?

  30. hobo kelly

    Sep 23rd, 2011

    It would sure be neat if Hot Mess Debbie and Bitey Barky Smokinhot could get together and team up with Ace reporter Pappy Enoch and his sister Jezebelle for some kind of wild gonzo journalistic ride around the grid somewhere, on the road in the Hearld Party Van so to speak. Swinging wide and wild. I could just see them in one of those auto-driving ann marie otoole cars that dont stop for anybody, chugging along just looking for fun. Or maybe two of those auto-driving cars because the more hardware you have involved in a crash the funnier it gets. You never know what might happen along the way:

    Debbie: “Look out Smokinhot !”

    Smokinhot: “Huh?”

    Debbie: “I said Look out…”

    Smokinhot: “I have something in my ear”

    Debbie: “Look out for that banana peel in the road !”

    (rrrrr, screeeeech, bang, biff, pow, whammo)

    Smokinhot: “uh oh…”

    Debbie: “Oh my, it wasn’t a banana peel after all. It was a pork rind.”

    Smokinhot: “That pork rind sure is hollerin now”

    Pappy: “Iffn ya’all back this thing up, I’ll scrape it up after it done quits twitchin’ ”

    Jezebelle: “I can make my famous Road Kill Stew back at the Squat tonight Pappy!”

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