Second Life: Sex, Hair and Dancing!!!
by Alphaville Herald on 27/07/11 at 1:53 am
by Debbie
So, my friends all like my stories and want me to write about the normal stuff we do. That could get tedious, but I did have an interesting conversation the other day.
I was bitching to my friend about how slow and shitty SL is all the time. People are gray for a very long time and their textures are fuzzy for a long time a lot and sometimes it makes me want to just not log-on sometimes. So then she said she didn’t have any problems like that, except when she goes places with lots of people.
Debbie seeking sex, hair, and dancing -- SL Designer Remix
Now, it could be a lot of my computer, it’s old and shitty. But I was dating a serious nerd when I bought it so I know it has enough gizmos and knickers to handle Second Life. It has for years, so I thought it might be that I do spend my time at a lot of crowded places.
So we got to comparing where we go, and she’s into the artsy, and says she visits all the places in the Destination Guide, and I’m like WTF is the destination guide and she says it’s a thing in the search box that lets you go to places that the Lindens like.
SL Destination Guide - party at the places the Lindens like?
I tend to hang out at nude beaches and dance clubs, and they get pretty full with people. I can’t imagine partying at places the Game Gods like, they must seriously rock!
Well, I had to see, and sure enough there is a destination guide. The first one I tried was a social place called Aphrodisiac, because it was supposed to be a beach and I like beaches. I tried to teleport several times and kept getting “Parcel Not Found”. Not a good start.
I popped to the next place on the list, Wet Willie’s Rock Club, and it was jammed with people. Hooooooooooo~! It was awesome! This Destination Guide must be the best thing ever! http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Star%20Academy%20Island/48/28/22
Wet Willie’s Rock Club
I hopped to a bunch of different places, and my joy balloon popped. First we went to a place called Designers Remix, which is kind of a home show with homes and furniture and stuff. It was pretty cool but it was totally empty. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Designers%20Remix%201/250/134/24
Aho Museum - but is it art?
Then we went to an Art thing called the Aho Museum. Again, it had some cool stuff but no one was there. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/NMC%20Campus%20West/249/127/23
Then we went to some other art thing called the LEA Theatre I didn’t understand at all and that was completely empty as well. I mean all this stuff is great, but who’s looking at it? If Art falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, is it still art? http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/LEA1/218/43/22
Debbie and friend at LEA Theatre - hello girls!
So after three swings and misses I told my friend I was going to take her to three places I go to, show her that there are a lot of places that actually have avatars in them, and how she hangs out in loserville. Yes, fast rezzing graphics are great but it’s a lonely frickin’ world over there in Artville.
Well, she went with me to Wild Coast Naturist Resort but wouldn’t get nekkid and get on the beach, so that was no fun. This place is also so full of people they should hand you a machete at the door to cut through it. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/The%20Wild%20Coast/67/177/21
some avatars skip the clothing layer at the Wild Coast Naturist Resort
Next we went to Truth Hair. I go to a lot of busy shops, but this one is always laggy and full of avies. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Truth%20Hair/113/35/28
truth - or hair?
Finally we went to Bukkake Bliss and once she saw what it was she bailed. I explained that I was going to take pictures of her and me at all these places with the mini map for the Herald and she said no way, so I TP’d another friend in and we re-created the whole thing. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Bukkake%20Bliss%20Island/90/182/27
Bukkake Bliss is a hit or a miss depending on your tastes
So in conclusion, if you want to find people in Second Life go to a good club, or a good hair store, or a good sex place, depending on what sort of mood you’re in.
General Drama
Jul 27th, 2011
HOLY CASABAS! Girl you is growed.
Yep
Jul 27th, 2011
HeHeHe
Orca Flotta
Jul 27th, 2011
Debbie (the article writer) writes on the right level for Debi (the forum troll) to comprehend. That’s good I suppose. And nice the AH found a new writer at last, eventhough her articles are on a super low level. Kinda semi fun read tho.
But the tits are still fugly.
Observer
Jul 27th, 2011
we need avi physics on them boobies.
Senban Babii
Jul 27th, 2011
Tonight’s news.
Pair of Second Life residents are bored and click some random SLurls. Call it an article.
Coming up, a skateboarding dog! Can you believe that? Right after these important messages.
hobo kelly
Jul 27th, 2011
forum trolls calling out others forum trolls, thats funny. anybody with 2 brain cells bashing about within their skull can see that this is a nicely contrived hit piece on SL in general. It sets the tone early on with the take-away line: “I was bitching to my friend about how slow and shitty SL is all the time…” and then continues on to graphically SHOW how vapid Second Life really is, string implants and all. Along the way we are told how everywhere they go there is nobody around or the parcels have gone missing. And then at the end we get the final hit telling us that the only people left in SL are hair and club tards. nicely done and it made me LOL at how sad SL is
Debi Dastardly
Jul 27th, 2011
@Orca Floaty
“Debbie (the article writer) writes on the right level for Debi (the forum troll) to comprehend. That’s good I suppose. And nice the AH found a new writer at last, eventhough her articles are on a super low level. Kinda semi fun read tho.
But the tits are still fugly.”
And I’m the Troll? Really BTW your whole AVie is really Fugly
Senban Babii
Jul 27th, 2011
@Hobo Kelly
” It sets the tone early on with the take-away line: “I was bitching to my friend about how slow and shitty SL is all the time…””
Which the writer goes on to admit is because of their computer being old and slow.
“Along the way we are told how everywhere they go there is nobody around or the parcels have gone missing.”
Really? Don’t the minimaps in each screenshot largely show populated sims? Yes, art sims are less crowded than say club sims but compare any art gallery in meatspace to any club in meatspace. Why should SL be any different?
Only one example was given of a missing parcel and that could have been for any number of reasons.
“And then at the end we get the final hit telling us that the only people left in SL are hair and club tards”.
Okay, time for a serious question I hope you can help me with. I’ve been in SL since July 2007. I don’t know who you really are but I’m going to assume that you’re an old timer. Certainly as far back as July 2007, SL has largely been populated with people just in it for the social experience. So clubs, shopping, just hanging out (and of course the secksies). From my perspective, the SL population is pretty much the same now as it always was. So can you tell us what the SL population spent their time doing pre 2007? Before the mass exodus that saw the intelligentsia flying off in a big space ship and leaving the hair-festooned club tards as the only active population, what did people spend their time doing? I’m genuinely asking here because from what I’ve seen, heard and read, SL is the same now as it has always been. In your opinion, what *should* the population of SL be doing with its time? Like I say, I’m not arguing with you, I’m genuinely asking your opinion.
Orca Flotta
Jul 27th, 2011
@ Debile Bastardly:
And I’m the Troll? Really BTW your whole AVie is really Fugly
Yes, you are the troll since you don’t comment on any contents but only try to bash fellow readers.
And yes, my avie might be ugly for your taste but at least my tits are parts of it and not attached prims.
Yep
Jul 27th, 2011
“In your opinion, what *should* the population of SL be doing with its time?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-uN9EopBDM
Senban Babii
Jul 27th, 2011
@Yep
“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-uN9EopBDM”
Kathryn Sharpesworth
Jul 27th, 2011
Well, people go to interact, buy stuff, and have sex. So dancing, hair shops, and sex is going to be big time busy places. I use to use the Guide when first on but the places were always either dead or stores. I assume you pay to get onto the Guide?
Have you tried the Toy Slave Brothel at Doll Island yet? Dancing and sex. Pretty hair too!
Nelson Jenkins
Jul 27th, 2011
Someone argue to me that I should bother reading the article, I saw the huge prim boobs and skipped it to save time.
fararden
Jul 27th, 2011
Oh hey look, it’s Strawberry short cake with huge tittys and she knows hot to teleport through Second Life. It’s really sad and depressing when New World Notes has better articles then the Harold.
Why does Debbie not have a last name is she a celebrity like Cher or Madonna? I thought writers usually have last names. Oh wait, she really isn’t a writer, never mind.
paul
Jul 27th, 2011
@ Nelson.
Well, one could argue that her wearing of the big boobs is satire to critique the more general tendency of people to wear idealized avatars of various kinds. Perhaps partly, she is laughing at people’s reactions. When people mock her for the big boobs, my first thought about those reactions was… “oh i get it, outrageously fake boobs are bad, but wearing an avatar that makes you look like a cartoon high fashion model, a barbie doll, or an anthropomorphized human are ok?!?” I really don’t know why she wears the big boobs, but I am pretty sure it isn’t because she wants people to be attracted to her large breasts in a conventional sense. Do furries hope that actual dogs and other animals regard them as actual animals???
Soooo, assuming the above, that the author is starting from a position of critique and satire, you can then proceed to read her articles, and discover that they are amusing and insightful critiques and satires of some of the more common SL experiences.
/me shrugs.
Axel Oakleaf
Jul 27th, 2011
God Dammit! Second Life isn’t only about sex. There is combat,roleplaying,skydiving,racing,concerts,and live singers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELRKMh3Cges
Dear SL Herald,start mentioning how it has concerts,live singers and such.
GG3
Jul 27th, 2011
@Axel
Oh, those places were people go to yoddle all the time and the lag-over flows to full capacity (especially with vehicles)? Jolly, if I wanted my ears to break i’d just listen to a chalk-board fiasco. Expect that’s more tolerable.
BTW, second life “combat” is a joke.
Reader
Jul 27th, 2011
“yoddle”
I laughed
Debi Dastardly
Jul 27th, 2011
@Dorca Floaty
“@ Debile Bastardly:
And I’m the Troll? Really BTW your whole AVie is really Fugly
Yes, you are the troll since you don’t comment on any contents but only try to bash fellow readers.
And yes, my avie might be ugly for your taste but at least my tits are parts of it and not attached prims.”
Mine are not prims either. Well at least we can agree prim boobies are stupid, I guess. By the way Check your facts before calling someone names.
I thought you Progressives (Regressives) were supposed to be oh so non judgmental?
Yep
Jul 27th, 2011
Oooh!! Go getem Tiger
Sinead McMillan
Jul 27th, 2011
i’d second paul on the implants and the writing isn’t that boring
Melissa Yeuxdoux
Jul 27th, 2011
@Debi: If you’re really not using prim breasts, I’d love to talk with you about how you do it. Frankly, your breasts look far too good to be avatar breasts. Stock avatar breasts towards the high end of the slider scale have visible corners, showing the defects of the stock avatar shape. They also look to me too large to be stock avatar breasts, and I say this as someone who on my rez day ran the breast size slider up to 100 and left it there until the day I started using prim breasts, and who has photos from that era for comparison.
Unfortunately, the stock avatar comes nowhere near covering the actual range of RL natural breast size, and as attachments, prim breasts carry the connotations of RL breast implants and their users are labeled with the derogatory stereotypes applied to RL women with breast implants. It would be nice if mesh avatars could get around these problems.
Debi Dastardly
Jul 27th, 2011
Hi Melissa:
I am not the Debbie that is in the story. I don’t have prim breast, sorry.
At0m0 Beerbaum
Jul 28th, 2011
Dear SLH,
Please make an article that just says “ham and ham and ham and” over and over again. It will need this about 8,000 times. Thanks in advance!
Yours truly,
At0m0 Beerbaum
lolol
Jul 28th, 2011
@Melissa
Debi is a carpenter’s dream. She is flat as a board.
Orca Flotta
Jul 28th, 2011
Mine are not prims either. Well at least we can agree prim boobies are stupid, I guess. By the way Check your facts before calling someone names.
I thought you Progressives (Regressives) were supposed to be oh so non judgmental?
Check my facts? What did I say? I didn’t claim that’s your brim boobs now, did I?
And how did you get the idea that I’m a progressive? Or non judgemental? I’m very opinionated and often my opinions are right.
And I have to agree with Paul about the slight possibility that Debbie’s article might by a satire.
Ryokashi
Jul 28th, 2011
as terrible as this article is it is better then post 6
DF
Jul 28th, 2011
SL avatars with prim breasts are treated in the same way as RL women with breast implants, notes Melissa.
Gee, I wonder why…?
Debi Dastardly
Jul 28th, 2011
@Orca
“Mine are not prims either. Well at least we can agree prim boobies are stupid, I guess. By the way Check your facts before calling someone names.
I thought you Progressives (Regressives) were supposed to be oh so non judgmental?
Check my facts? What did I say? I didn’t claim that’s your brim boobs now, did I?
And how did you get the idea that I’m a progressive? Or non judgemental? I’m very opinionated and often my opinions are right.
And I have to agree with Paul about the slight possibility that Debbie’s article might by a satire.”
Your political opinions are so off the board. And they would really be something to laugh at if you weren’t such a sadly misinformed person.
Orca Flotta
Jul 28th, 2011
Your political opinions are so off the board. And they would really be something to laugh at if you weren’t such a sadly misinformed person.
Are they? So how come that your country with its backward, oppressive politics stands pretty alone in the world? Your ship is going down, your empire is on the last leg. Even compared to most western capitalist countries the USA is the only country where the gov’ment is fighting against and cheating on its own population. The only country that can only survive because of permanent warfare.
And how do you get the idea that I am misinformed? I claim right here and now that I have a much better political and historical education than you.
Paul
Jul 28th, 2011
@ Debi
Thanks for the support. However, I wouldn’t say “slight possibility” . It IS satire. But seemingly that point is lost on most posters here, who seem hung up on the notion that Deb really thinks ridiculously huge cha cha bingos are attractive.
So if we are trying to judge each others educational systems, let’s have a show of hands: how many Europeans did not realize that this was satire? How many USAians? How many Europeans did not realize that Deb was actually not trying to make a legitimate fashion statement with her big boobs? How many Americans?
See? idiots are found on both the continent and in the states!!!!
Dread Judge
Jul 28th, 2011
I’m with Hobo and Paul. These Debbie articles say more than the words actually say, and the giant ta-tas are a nice touch.
fararden
Jul 28th, 2011
This was a poor attempt at satire, posting pictures and slurls is not writing and therefore, cannot be deemed an article.
Paul
Jul 28th, 2011
LoL you seem to have much higher expectations for things associated with SL then I do, Faraden. But, here is a great solution: Why don’t you write a full ‘article’ on a topic of your choice and show us how it should be done?
fararden
Jul 28th, 2011
Paul:
I could but why would I want to waist my time writing something for the Herald?
Dread Judge
Jul 28th, 2011
I second Paul’s suggestion.
Start typing fararden.
Dread Judge
Jul 28th, 2011
@fararden
Bad start.
it’s “waste” not “waist” in that context.
Paul
Jul 28th, 2011
@faraden:
So let me get this straight. Deb actually takes the time to write a light but amusing article that pokes fun of the silliness of SL. And then, after a bunch of readers get their panties in a bunch because she has grotesquely exaggerated breasts, Faraden offers that her article is also a poor example of writing generally and of satire more specifically. Then, Faraden suggests that the very subject Deb wrote about is not worth any kind of serious effort, and the very forum it is in, the Herald, is not worth reading. If that is all true, why would you criticize Deb for not taking hours and hours to write a serious ‘article’ about a subject you think is not worth the effort?
Also, explain who we should be more critical of: Deb, who actually made an effort to make us laugh and took a chance putting herself out there, or Faraden, who puts effort into taking cheap shots commenting on articles he thinks are not worth writing in a forum that is not worth reading.
Go ahead Faraden, waist my time and explain that to me.
hobo kelly
Jul 28th, 2011
hmm, cannonballs are mostly made from iron so with a simple compass it might be possible to test whether that really is mark twain white after the “accident” or not !
Debi Dastardly
Jul 28th, 2011
Would like to point out to everyone here. I am not the Debbie in the story. Yes this has to be satire.
Senban Babii
Jul 28th, 2011
Can I also point out that this thread can be improved by pressing alt-f4 and we should all do this n
Reader
Jul 28th, 2011
Senban to the rescue. Almost better than Midol.
Melissa Yeuxdoux
Jul 28th, 2011
@DF: perhaps because people bring their stereotypes and prejudices with them into SL?
fararden
Jul 29th, 2011
I don’t have to waste my time explaining or arguing with you Paul. I’m entitled to my opinion just like you are. If you like the article that is fine with me. Have a nice day and enjoy your Second Life.
Yep
Jul 29th, 2011
“hmm, cannonballs are mostly made from iron so with a simple compass it might be possible to test whether that really is mark twain white after the “accident” or not !”
Most likely since everyone knows MTW is a woman trapped in a man’s body.
paul
Jul 29th, 2011
awww don’t pout Faraden, it’s all good. I thought you were attempting to make a sound argument when you lashed out blindly with your indictment of the article, so I thought I would help.
Mark Twain White is a woman? No way! Says who?
fararden
Jul 29th, 2011
Yawn, I don’t have to explain myself to a troll and baiting me doesn’t work.
Falls asleep.
Tommy Rampal
Jul 29th, 2011
“I tend to hang out at nude beaches and dance clubs, and they get pretty full with people.” destroyed all potential critic credibility of this article and author.
paul
Jul 29th, 2011
@ Tommy
Perhaps this was an understatement that was supposed to emphasize the larger point of the article that, in the writers opinion, not much is happening in SL except sex, hair, and dancing.
I could be wrong, but I think, maybe, just maybe, that the author wasn’t serious about having big boobs and hanging out at nude beaches.
Senban, as our resident lecturer you should really offer a course of instruction in reading comprehension with an emphasis on satire. I think we all need it.
Orca Flotta
Jul 29th, 2011
@ Paul:
So if we are trying to judge each others educational systems, let’s have a show of hands: how many Europeans did not realize that this was satire? How many USAians? How many Europeans did not realize that Deb was actually not trying to make a legitimate fashion statement with her big boobs? How many Americans?
If you would learn how to read you’d know that it was me who acknowledged your notion of Debbie’s article being a satire, not Debi. So here’s one european/african able to read between the lines. Although I have to admit that first I did fall for it, since the satirical blanket is very thin and Debbie was sporting her prims in another, totally unrelated article already. So one would think she’s trying to make a fashion statement indeed.
And, yes, MTW, although often acting like a hysterical woman and arguing like an american, is indeed a man. I heard him on voice.
@ Fararden: You’re wrong! Now shush.
@ Fararden: You’re right about explaining and arguing with Paul is a waste of time. He’s a troll, and like Debi, trying to earn brownie points rather than engaging in a uplifting conversation.
@ Senban: As always you’re the voice of reason in this madhouse. OTOH we gotta ask ourselves if it’s not a waste trying to talk sense into these boards.