First In-World Sighting of M Linden
by Alphaville Herald on 26/04/08 at 7:56 am
Exhausted emperor favors the simple look
by Pixeleen Mistral, National Affairs desk
ex-digital marketing agency CEO shows the metaverse how it is done – afk in t-shirt and jeans
Melanie Kidd took what is likely to be the paparazzi photo of the year – a candid shot of the new emperor/CEO of Linden Lab demonstrating his nearly total mastery of e-marketing with the new media.
While a few readers may mistake emperor M as a potential griefer given his understated appearance, most agree Linden Lab’s new CEO is actually taking the “opportunity to connect with customers in new and meaningful ways” – an area of expertise claimed by his former e-advertizing agency’s web site Organic.com. Going AFK in a noobie outfit is generally seen as a fast way to get a certain form of in-world street cred.
Clearly, the new emperor has a deep and nuanced understanding of Second Life, and the potential to “create digital experiences that bring consumers closer to brands, generate sales, and increase profitability”. Even better, M Linden’s bio at Organic.com tells us that he is a “frequent industry spokesman on trends in digital marketing, customer relationship management, social networking, and consumer empathy”.
After the emperor has spent a bit more time in Second Life, perhaps he will enhance his image by securing a sequined codpiece than will put even Philip Linden to shame – what better way could there be to make the leadership hierarchy in the advertisland empire clear? But for now, the Herald suggests landowners take a go-slow approach in banning avatars in noobie clothes — you wouldn’t want to eject the emperor by mistake.
Alyx Stoklitsky
Apr 26th, 2008
Maybe he has more important things to do than play videogames while at work.
umm
Apr 26th, 2008
Wait. So this guy is put in charge of LL and he has to be shown around? Not even a current resident?
Oh, this is going swimmingly already.
NO idea what SL is about. But yet he’ll “save” it.
I do hope he’s got some good ideas, but from what I see, it’s already a shitty start that gives me zero hope.
oh oh
Apr 26th, 2008
So we have a MARKETER coming in to tell the Lindens how to “maximize their investments” and “further capitalize” Second Life?
“opportunity to connect with customers in new and meaningful ways” = meaningless marketing bullshit.
“create digital experiences that bring consumers closer to brands, generate sales, and increase profitability” = more marketing bullshit.
So his expertise is selling shit to people? Great. Just what we need.
Kanomi
Apr 26th, 2008
Yeah, you’re right Alyx. He doesn’t have time for that. He’s busy applying his solid network engineering background to bringing stability and order to the Grid.
Hiro Pendragon
Apr 26th, 2008
@umm I’m assuming that’s his first *Linden* account. That doesn’t mean he needs to be shown around.
Plexus Linden
Apr 26th, 2008
I usually dont coment on 3rd party sites but give him a break guys. yes thats his first linden account, were all given one. after we become an employee. he did have another account but i am not allowed to discuss that.
Nacon
Apr 26th, 2008
“the Herald suggests landowners take a go-slow approach in banning avatars in noobie clothes — you wouldn’t want to eject the emperor by mistake.”
….what make you think you can ban a linden anyway? I’m sorry that you’re still in the mist of retardation plague.
homer
Apr 26th, 2008
Can we get Melanie as a Post 6 girl? She’s a cutie.
Razrcut Brooks
Apr 26th, 2008
Pix, dispatch a fashionista quick to help the ole boy out..take him shopping etc.. then invite him to do a photo-shoot so he can redemm himself…no nudity please.
Lemon Pledge
Apr 26th, 2008
I like how she’s standing over him like a scientologist’s watcher. Katie Holmes wasn’t allowed to be in public without one.
Razrcut Brooks
Apr 26th, 2008
@ Plexus Linden, M Linden should know that he will be under a microscope by other residents when he is in-world. First impressions are still important-even in a virtual world. Assuming you are correct in that M Linden is not a noob, then he could have easily bought a skin or avatar on the SLX and worn it without being seen by the public. The “puppet without a puppeteer” pose when AFK makes it even funnier- and you know it.
Winter
Apr 26th, 2008
Oh dear – let me see what couture I own that is transfer and pass it on to the poor boy. Or perhaps a donation box to buy him a Redgrave store card?
So many thoughts abound regarding the Emperor’s New Clothes…
That being said – I kinda like it! It does make him look just that little bit more stalkabl – ermmm… approachable.
fashion cop
Apr 26th, 2008
He needs some dressing pointers from Jimbo Quality.
/Jimbo for President! Write-in campaign!
Prokofy Neva
Apr 27th, 2008
I think it’s great that the guy had the balls to come inworld and eat the dogfood. A lot of them don’t.
there goes the neighbourhood
Apr 27th, 2008
So our new ‘emperor’ is a marketeer, huh?
There goes the neighbourhood…
Yes, a marketer’s profession is just that which ‘oh oh’ described: selling goldplated shit to people. That’s the whole thing.
I have worked with marketers for years, and that’s the ONLY thing they can do: making people believe they *need* stuff they dont.
Gaius Goodliffe
Apr 27th, 2008
lol. That is a cute pic. Isn’t RaC a place that sells skins and such? Looks like he was on his way to upgrade his appearance when he had to leave his desk for some FL reason. “Under the microscope”? Perhaps, but if he’s been in SL long enough, he knows “deserted sim syndrome” is more par for the course. He probably didn’t expect anyone to catch a glimpse of him between his login and his purchase of some decent skin/clothes/etc.
Alyx Stoklitsky
Apr 27th, 2008
“Yeah, you’re right Alyx. He doesn’t have time for that. He’s busy applying his solid network engineering background to bringing stability and order to the Grid.”
I was thinking more along the lines of trying to please the investors that have poured big bucks into the LL money pit and have yet to see the big returns they hoped for. The board of directors must be getting butthurt with all the big income and low profit.
Alyx Stoklitsky
Apr 27th, 2008
“Assuming you are correct in that M Linden is not a noob, then he could have easily bought a skin or avatar on the SLX and worn it without being seen by the public.”
… Are you really that vein?
“Eek! I can’t let anyone see my avatar looking like DEFAULT!”
Christ. I think the new CEO has bigger concerns than what texture is wrapped around his model.
Just Me
Apr 27th, 2008
@Alyx Stoklitsky
Vein = blood vessel
Vain = conceited:obseesed with your appearance
DinkyHockerShootsSmack!
Apr 28th, 2008
Pix, contact me about my entrails and tea leave reading skills.
First session is free.
Guaranteed to be more accurate than your own prognostications.
Anyone ever heard of a little word called “agenda”?
Not that it’s AT ALL obvious.
Lord Kamina
Apr 28th, 2008
lol, slfaggots bitching about how LL has a marketeer as a CEO.
You guys clearly know absolutely nothing about how economics work, because you’ve all been too busy playing with digital monopoly money and spacebux.
In a REAL economy, if you don’t get your message out there and if you don’t please the investors, you are doomed as a company.
Philip leaving was the result of his team’s incompetence at keeping even the most basic functions active within the game. The Havok 4 upgrade turned out to be a complete waste of time, as the load of the heavy physics calculations made sim crashes happen easier and more often, and even happen to people who are not trying to crash at all.
The Lindens themselves have shifted their focus from actual coding and working on game stability issues to going on mass ban sprees and doing our trolling job for us.
You’ve got furfags having e-sex all over the grid and on the Teen Grid, (where it’s supposed to be illegal but LL doesn’t care about exploitation of children when all furfags are pedophiles, ALL OF THEM, PROVE ME WRONG,) Goreans running around with their srs bsns roleplay faggotry, you’ve got DiSSENTI0N and other groups tearing the grid a new goatse-sized asshole, and the number of paid accounts crashing downward.
Granted, I’d love to see SL fail and go dark forever, but the Board of Directors at LL do not, and that is why Philip had to go, and someone with actual corporate experience had to be put in his place. If he truly wants to make SL a market competitor, first thing he needs to do is outlaw furfaggotry.
Alyx Stoklitsky
Apr 28th, 2008
“@Alyx Stoklitsky
Vein = blood vessel
Vain = conceited:obseesed with your appearance”
You are quite right <3
whisper2u
Apr 28th, 2008
Wow, there was a real Linden who posted in this thread. I got all excited at first but then I looked him up and found out some stuff that he had said about having buttsecks in jail so now I think he must be Epic Fail, to wit:
http://wiki.patrioticnigras.org/wiki/Plexus_Linden
After reading the transcript on that webpage I get the impression that the Plexus guy must be some kind of butthurt wannabe little terrorist or something. I think that this new incoming M Linden should wake up, straighten up, and look into his situation and take appropirate action. He doesn’t make the Lindens look very good thats for sure…
(yeah, they put the PN site back online. good info there)
Pedobear's home is /b/
Apr 28th, 2008
“all furfags are pedophiles, ALL OF THEM, PROVE ME WRONG”
If this were true, then why arent there any people under the age of 18 allowed at most furrycons? if all furfags are pedophiles, then they would very much welcome underaged people at every single con.
But oh well, guess logic isnt really your forte, right, chanfag Kamia?
Also, it’s on the chans where there’s loli boards, not on the furry boards. Particulalry 7chan, home of among others the fine people of PN and other /b/tards.
Little example…
(FAT ASS WARNING! NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR HOME VIEUWING!!!!)
http://mud.7chan.org/cake/src/120887998139.jpg
http://mud.7chan.org/cake/src/120503252352.jpg
http://mud.7chan.org/cake/src/120407885931.jpg
Psychologists will refer to this behaviour as ‘projecting’….
Jumpman Lane
Apr 28th, 2008
To hell with that tard linden. Who is the soxy bish beside him with the fire in her eyes! I wanna see er neekid! (as i’m sure you do to!) gimme a name and i’ll make it happen! We bringout hoes!
Cockhoenut Koala
Apr 28th, 2008
“I have worked with marketers for years, and that’s the ONLY thing they can do: making people believe they *need* stuff they dont.”
You are saying Second Life isn’t already something we don’t just want… You ‘need’ secondlife?
there goes the neighbourhood
Apr 28th, 2008
“”I have worked with marketers for years, and that’s the ONLY thing they can do: making people believe they *need* stuff they dont.”
You are saying Second Life isn’t already something we don’t just want… You ‘need’ secondlife?”
No, I’m saying that theres things in SL we dont need, like for example voicechat, and the new vieuwer look where you can hardly see new IMs being highlighted; as opposed to things in SL we do need to keep it entertaining, like bugfixes, and stability. Also, commercials and adverts during loading etc, not really looking forward to it. Of course these details can be discussed about untill the end of time, but I think you can agree that a little more stability at least, is something desireable.
Not that that will be anything different from the direction of LL sofar tho, it’s always been more about adding chrome first and remove bugs later.
I’ve seen marketers completely destroy a product (and with it half of the company) because of simply doing their job and selling it while it was still full of bugs and hardly finished in development. They’re like politicians, promises, promises which the working people having to do it sometimes just cannot make true.
Lord Kamina
Apr 29th, 2008
@ Pedobear’s home is /b/
Ironic that a furqueer talks about ‘projecting’. You’re one of the faggots always saying “LOL /b/ IS FURRY HURRRRRR DERP DERP” as we curbstomp your threads back into the stone age.
As for the entire pedo argument, or counter-argument as it were, you neglect the fact that furfags would obviously not want to get caught by the feds, which is why they hide as much sick shit as they can online. Hell, I’ll even cite you some examples.
Yiffy Yaffle, aka wolfeedarkfang, aka Will Rigsby, tried to solicit a minor on YouTube and we’ve got the logs to prove it. LucaShoal Kanto, aka Luca Shoal, aka Brent Puet, has done the same through other websites and has pretended to be underage to try and “meet up” with younger children. There’s also a bunch of furfaggots on the Teen Grid that have no business being there. We’ve got screenshots from an angry mother that found furfag porn and furfags having sex on the Teen Grid. There’s an amazing correlation between diaperfags/babyfurqueers and pedophilia.
At least the chans take loli and Pedobear in a joking manner, you faggots actually try to pick up little kids.
Let’s not even get started with the fact that all furfags are zooaphiles.
Rape-Ape
Apr 30th, 2008
@Lord Kamina
“Let’s not even get started with the fact that all furfags are zooaphiles.”
I believe I will.
zo·o·phil·i·a (z-fl-) also zo·oph·i·lism (z-f-lzm)
n.
1. Affection or affinity for animals.
2. Erotic attraction to or sexual contact with animals.
Notice there is nothing that excludes this term from those who get hard for cartoon animals.
Official definitions of zoophilia acknowledge that those with an unhealthy obsession for pretending to be an animal go hand-in-hand with zoophiles.
Pedobear's home is /b/
May 1st, 2008
tehee ^.^
BIGJOHN BYRON
Jan 21st, 2010
god damn melanie’s screen is tiny. she must make like 4 figures a year
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