New Torley Linden Documentary Features Mitch Kapor

by Alphaville Herald on 09/07/08 at 9:36 pm

An all too accurate picture of the state of SL

by Pixeleen Mistral, National Affairs desk

Mitch Kapor promises less novelty, less freedom, uneasy transitionas Torley Linden signals disapproval with bad sound, gray textures, low framerates

Noted virtual filmmaker Torley Linden’s latest production is a documentary of the closing keynote address from the SL5B 5th “birthday” celebration. The largely nipple free PG celebration ended on a downbeat note monday, as mighty Mitch Kapor went out of his way to insult current metaverse residents by implying they are socially inept outsiders soon to be swept away in a flood of “pragmatic” business, education, and non-profit players — though impartial observers wonder how this will happen, given the dismal peak concurrent user growth rate, unstable platform, and general lack of professionalism on the part of Linden Lab.

opening credits – Torley is nearly as important as Mitch

Given the difficult subject matter Torley Linden chose for his latest epic, the film works surprisingly well, as Torley pulls out all the stops in a largely successful effort to provide a ironic counterpoint to a corporate message Torley clearly disagrees with.

We applaud this brave young filmmaker and hope to see more of his creative use of up-the-nose camera angles, over-modulated voice, hyperkinetic pans, and subtle use of un- rezed gray textures – all groundbreaking SL filmmaking techniques that point out the obvious limits of Second Life. Hopefully, as Torley continues to perfect his subversive artform he will be able to retain his position as lab mascot and court videographer for the Linden empire.

Torley points out LL’s corporate ambitions – no hawaiian shirts for Mitch today, this is serious business!

a subtle reminder that very few avatars can participate in this “event”

Torley shows how Mitch suddenly won’t rez – and his best Brooks Brothers suit is gone, gone, gone!
Another asset server problem or client crash?

Mitch is starting to rez, but Robin Linden’s hair has gone gray – so much for that trip to the Juut Salon Spa in Palo Alto last weekend

emergency visit from the Juut colorist

layering and working from the top down

now if the clothes will just rez…

Torley throws down a classic “look how busy SL is” shot…

…then undercuts the viewer’s assumptions by showing the visible avatars — subversive genius!

…blah blah blah…virtual worlds have pragmatic value especially in the business sector …blah blah blah value proposition being established… …blah blah blah…some things Linden lab has to do… …blah blah blah…I continue as a board member …blah blah blah… to advocate…strongly to allow …blah blah blah…the potential of the platform to unfold… improving robustnesss of the platform… decentralized in a …blah blah blah… kind of way… announcements in days and weeks and months to come…

LL is going to print 2.65M L$ spacebux ($10,000 USD) for our bestest friend evah — and it really doesn’t cost the Lab anything – residents could feel a bit of inflation but who cares? most of them are role players, furries, or robots

“We are not taking questions”
…and Robin has got my back…

20 Responses to “New Torley Linden Documentary Features Mitch Kapor”

  1. Eye Korobase

    Jul 9th, 2008

    love how they adress things and say they are going to do this and this, yet they do not fix a damn thing

  2. Razrcut Brooks

    Jul 9th, 2008

    Ahh, Torley…God love him, he craves attention doesn’t he? In all fairness, I was at that meeting and even though it was held at the intersection of 4 sims, it was a lag fest. That overhead shot by Torley must have been recorded before the speech started because it was very packed..

    Funniest part of the speech was in the beginning! Go back to the blog (link below ) and listen in at 1:43. Kapor: “Robin can you……tee hee hee hee!”

  3. Nahasa Singh

    Jul 10th, 2008

    You got to be shitting me.

    Are you telling me that Kapor gave a keynote speech in Second Life using fucking PowerPoint slides ? He’s standing on the podium in a world where (most of the time) you can rez things out of thin air, and he opts for the 1997 visual aid of choice ??

    Something is seriously screwed here, ladies, gentlement and misc avis.

  4. Marc Woebegone

    Jul 10th, 2008

    Why would anybody bother going to the birthday of a five year old tantrum oriented brat?

  5. Charles Xavier

    Jul 10th, 2008

    More to the point, Torley is a self-diagnosed aspie (asspie?) and a glorified manchild that pretends to be a woman on the internet.

    Sorry kid, business matters and most other adult matters are out of your league. You don’t understand how to run a company, but I’m sure Linden Labs has a nice babysitting center. Just don’t stand so close to Plexus, I hear he bites and tends to defecate all over himself.

  6. Jumpman Lane

    Jul 10th, 2008

    Hell, if Second Life’s trained monkey has to make a crap movie, as his only means of dissent, he’ a bigger flunky than I thought he was! (Just mention Torley to any other Linden and marvel at the unserious, switch-up, tone change in the "Oh! TORLEY!" u elicit). That fool is kept around as joke. They pay him cash monies for comic effect! He claim he’s refflicted or some such shit. Got something, can’t do something, or something. He took that test online! NOBODY diagnosed him with shit! (I know ALL about this fool). NOW HE GOT A WIFE! (Have ya seen her? Tell meh have ya seen her?). Torley is currently tryin to publish a manifesto on how he put his foot in my crack (an internet troll) & Prokofy’s crack (a LL critic) and made himself less soft & less squishy. Lurk over to his watermelon-fruit site & see! Towley NEED 2 come up with some new vid ideas b 4 they fire his simple simon ass. P.S. Watermelon sux hairy nut sax just like
    Aya Pelous, Ohhh! I remain as ever Jumpman Lane

  7. Ann Otoole

    Jul 10th, 2008

    “Let them eat cake!”

  8. Anonymous

    Jul 10th, 2008

    When the one-world-government is realised, all the world’s economy shall serve only to benefit the few in power, with every person on the planet born an unwitting slave to generating more tax revenue for the government bigwigs.

    The free-floating economy will be a myth and a lie, and the value of all currency shall be set in a way that guarantees an endless stream of money flows to the few at the top.

    SL is effectively a one-world government, and a global economy whereby all funds funnel to a single point.

    Think about that for a moment.

  9. Razrcut Brooks

    Jul 10th, 2008

    @ anonymous : Hmm.. ok I have thought about that for a moment . SL is not a government but a for-profit business. Yes, we generate income for Linden Lab owners and employees. I see no problem with that. These are not “government big-wigs” , elected by us residents. These are business owners that offer a virtual platform we residents voluntarily subscribe to. I do not provide an “endless stream” of income to them “unwittingly”. I choose to buy and sell as I please. Think about that for a moment.

  10. parrhesian

    Jul 11th, 2008

    Anne, STFU with your Prokofy wannabee act.

    I thought I would never say it about anyone — but prok is ten times the mind you are. All you do is attempt to emulate her, and poorly. Really poorly. You’re like the stand-ups who emulate better, more established stand-ups.

    You’re naught but an hanger-on dingleberry who is trying desperately to sound like an important dissident.

    Quit trying so hard FREAK.

    P.S. I hate you.

  11. Anonymous

    Jul 11th, 2008

    @Razrcut Brooks:

    SL is a test platform. Guess what they’re testing.

    Think about that for a moment.

  12. Jumpman Lane

    Jul 11th, 2008

    @ parrhesian DID YA SEE HER COMMENT ON M LIN’S LETTER TO THE SUCKERS LMAO. Vintage suck up. we call that butt cheek riding. like ann is a lil man (WO man) with he feet bouncin up and down when prok walks (for example) likke boink ba boink ba boink ba boink. Ann quit butt cheek ridin

  13. parrhesian

    Jul 11th, 2008

    LOL Jumpy, yes I did.

  14. Alrogger

    Jul 13th, 2008

    Why is the SLH so anti-Second Life? is the point of this rag to be a drama-bomb?

  15. Prokofy Neva

    Jul 13th, 2008

    This story was kinda funny. Is Uri maybe really Pixeleen?

  16. Porky Neva

    Jul 13th, 2008

    This story was kinda funny. Maybe I want to fuck Uri?

  17. Sigmund Leominster

    Jul 13th, 2008

    Alrogger, that’s unfair. Why, there are many examples of where SLH supports Second Life(R). I can’t think of one specifically at the moment, but I’m sure there are lots… some… a few… one…

    When I was a newbie, I discovered that the word “troll” wasn’t just a reference to an ugly creature that wanted to know “who’s that trip-trapping over my rickety, rackety bridge,” but also a term to describe “one who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument.”

    Maybe SLH is merely a rickety, rackety bridge.

  18. Forelle Broek

    Jul 13th, 2008

    @Alroger: “is the point of this rag to be a drama-bomb?”


    This has been another installment of “Simple Answers to Simple Questions.”

  19. Ric Mollor

    Jul 14th, 2008

    The very fact that the video was released is an indicator of the incredible unprofessionalism that seems to pervade Linden Lab. This is the new CEO giving the closing keynote for the 5 year anniversary. An event to be taken seriously. An event that was planned far in advance. An event that certainly *should* of been rehearsed until until it was assured that it would be perfect.

    Instead, interested parties are given this slapped together, pathetic and obviously unscripted video. A video which is memorable only for its complete failure to properly document the event. A production that would be deemed as unsuitable for submission for even a middle schoolers project.

    Are things really that bad at Linden Lab? Do the powers that be consider this acceptable? Can they possibly consider this to present Second Life favorably to potential customers?

    Or does LL as a whole consider its userbase disenfranchised misfits and socially unacceptable losers as Philip has implied in the past?

  20. Spankubux

    Jul 16th, 2008

    Why would anybody bother going to the birthday of a five year old tantrum oriented brat?

    Posted by: Marc Woebegone | July 10, 2008 at 10:11 AM


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