Kicking Second Life Addiction – A Life Outside The Grid
by Alphaville Herald on 24/11/11 at 9:58 pm
by Tenshi Vielle - founder & former publisher of Shopping Cart Disco
I joined Second Life in 2006, and it wasn't long before I was meeting folks on the grid and making a digital name for myself, something I never had when I was growing up. As a child, I was far too smart and far too shy to be bothered with any social aspects of life. Second Life, strangely, was my foray into a niche-type fame (or infamy as many of you may be apt to categorize me) from running a 2,000 to 3,000 and sometimes 5,000 hit-a-day website that operated solely on the gossip on the grid and attempting to fight the good fight -- and making enemies in the process.
Tenshi Vielle in Second Life (file photo)
My time spent on the Second Life grid was an entire escape from reality. In late 2005, I was pregnant, going to school, and working 3 part time jobs. By 2006, I had my baby and had joined Second Life after seeing an article in Wired magazine - and joining simply to laugh at the ridiculous hype this virtual world was getting.
I began making friends in-world, and logging in was a daily thing after my morning cup of coffee. When I wasn't out with my family, my newborn slept on my lap or in a seat near my feet. The burdens of my real life built up, so I threw myself into building something I could actually manage in Second Life - a small, stong website, a reputation, a cause to log in. I spent a lot of time supporting the artists of SL, large and small. They became my close friends.
When I found myself with one part time job and the baby, I found employment in the virtual world with a real-life company on a short term basis. It became more of an excuse to log in, because they were sending me actual checks with official pay stubs. My newborn was growing, I couldn't shake the baby weight between caring for him, my so-called depression, and attempting to care for my injured baby-daddy who had also moved in with myself and my family.
The burdens grew. Folks who didn't like me in the virtual world stalked me, called me all kinds of names, harassed me, blamed me for ruining their birthdays, even their anniversaries. It got ridiculous.
Shortly afterwards I was also moving in real life to find a job. The economy in my home state was tanking hard, and I was sorely affected. I worked a job as a janitor - yes, any port in a storm - and not only caught scabies that year, but pinkeye, two cases of the flu, and god knows what else. It was not a job I wanted to continue.
Logging in became more and more of a chore, and I had lost my desktop computer in favor of a laptop. In desperation, I elected co-administrators on my website and began dealing with social issues and helping with stories for the site via text message while at my new job. It was just too much.
I never realized I was so deep into Second Life until a tiff over administrative rights on the website caused me to dump my virtual best friend, which pulled a domino affect into other online friendships and caused me a lot of personal pain. I'd never cried over anything in the virtual world before - not the digital riff raff, griefers, nothing - but this was different and I realized I was far too invested with people I didn't even really know anything about.
My virtual life fed my ego in a way my real life couldn't - my word was important to other SL users. I could assist making a virtual artist, or help bring them down - something I attempted to avoid doing until I felt just cause for it. The group I fell in was small, cliquish and petty, sniping at each other and then being the world's greatest frenemies scripted by a bad episode of Desperate Housewives. Ostracization was a favorite technique of theirs.
I had more virtual shoes and clothing than I did in my real life - and I had, at one time, owned a lot of shoes and clothing in my real life. I had more hair styles in my virtual life.
After being homeless in real life for about a month, after getting kicked out of my "midway" place after moving (but thankfully keeping my newly aquired job) I attempted to continue work on the site as I had before, but couldn't.
My life was still a mess. In the course of three years, we rented an apartment; we bought a house; then my relationship went so far south that I thought I was at the cusp of hell. I sold my web site for $200 and used some of the money to pay for an apartment for a month so that I could escape my dissolved relationship and move on.
I kept my virtual friends up on what was going on in my real life and why I was absent, but my own life narration began to sound absolutely ridiculous even to me, despite the fact that I was living it. How could anyone go through so many horrible things and be able to talk about it online and believe it? There are so many sociopaths in Second Life who make up horrible stories (including medical diseases and traumas) for attention, but I wasn't one of them. I was simply logging what was actually happening to me, which was as hard for me to believe as the one living it as anyone reading it.
My virtual life is in shambles now. I rarely ever log in - I think I was last online about two weeks ago, for a half an hour. I couldn't find anything I wanted to do, and everyone who was online on my friends list seemed completely foreign to me.
Those friends I had in Second Life that I truly loved, I took with me to my first life. They are on my personal Plurk account, they are on my Facebook. I stayed at one SL friend's for a week after I left my relationship and my home. She allowed my son and I to shack up over there until other arrangements could be made, and even drove with me a good 100 miles to make sure everything was going to be alright.
Although my virtual life no longer exists, I prefer my real life. Second Life has become secondary, although I am not completely sure whether it's due to my real life becoming so busy (work and a small child) or if it's because Second Life, in general, seems vacant save for my old friends that still hang around. I now have a low profile and the virtual stalkers have moved on to other prey. I have no idea what is going on with the artists I used to help protect - I believe many of them have moved on from Second Life as well.
I firmly believe the worst and best thing about Second Life was how heavily it was propelled by its users - and how often it was held back by its developers.
As for Second Life in my real life, I spoke about it often while I was still involved heavily. Now it's like a dirty secret. My friend asked me how I knew one of my Second Life friends last night, and I hemmed and hawwed and avoided answering all I could until I could avoid no longer, and gave a very vague answer. It's not the friends in Second Life I'm trying to keep hidden; it's the fact that I was once so deeply involved in something that revolved so heavily around basic social psychology, and that I so easily handled it, that becomes embarrassing.
Those of you still hanging around Second Life more than 2 hours a day, I would advise you to please consider logging out for a while and doing something else. Go out, talk to a stranger, ask them about the weather. Keep your virtual life, but learn how to keep it proportionate. Video games only temporarily assist in making a person feel better. The secondary benefit is that Second Life, as a platform, appears to be tanking. Unless there's a sudden resurgence of popularity due to the open development available (with no support from the developers themselves) you are, so to speak, putting your money in a hole.
Lysana
Nov 24th, 2011
Physical life is also temporary, prone to cause problems, and filled with addictive scenarios that also only temporarily patch a problem. But you would ask people to act as if SL is the only source of such things? The fact you say “so-called depression” instead of clinical depression says a few things, too. Such as how you don’t understand the way many who are depressed or physically disabled have a better life thanks to SL. Telling people like them or me to get out of their apartment and talk to a stranger is ableist. Keep the fact your life is not the same as everyone else’s proportionate in your mind when you try to give advice.
Also keep in mind you fed off of people’s snarkiness, cattiness, and darker instincts in SL while you ran SCD. You may have “protected” a few artists, but you also encouraged the worst in many people, even if only passively. I for one stopped reading SCD when I realized I was turning into that sort of person to a degree I could not accept. It made my SL a lot better when I stopped worrying about whether I was fashionable and putting down the right people and started just being myself more.
Good luck to you in your life. But do examine yourself a bit more. You’re not speaking from a pristine position.
GG3
Nov 24th, 2011
This is the most realistic article i’ve come across concerning SL and the down-sides that are basically “kept under wraps”.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and keeping things real
RIP Tux
Nov 25th, 2011
Thanks Tenshi for being so open in your mistakes. Yes I said mistakes.
Your piece is good, but why bring RL into the game? It is nothing more than fuel for the fire. Honestly.
Please don’t think I am being cold hearted, I am not. I truly feel for you. I just don’t think any of it has any place in a game.
I wouldn’t bring any RL stuff in game. I have once, I was away from SL for a few months due to a car accident, when I returned I explained it to my closest friends. I too have seen the bullshit virtual sick, IDC, they are well enough to play a game. Their character is no different to anyone else. Sure I would sympathise IRL, but not a game.
In world I am friends with a deaf girl (IRL) but in game she plays just like anyone else. Better in fact, she is very good at scripting. I know a lot of people with genuine illnesses but they, nor I, would share that sort of thing in world.
I just think a game should be played as a method of escape from RL stuff. Stress relief as opposed to making shit worse.
Me
Nov 25th, 2011
I am thankful today for all my friends and family who want me safe adn happy!!!
I read this crazy (NOT flaming, more like terrifying) pastebin. It scared me a lot.
http://pastebin.com/HPuzQhN6
I never believe people who try to tell me or others what other people are thinking or “trying to do.”
I never think people deserve to be insulted for expressing themselves dramatically – it is what people do, not what they say.
T-Bone
Nov 25th, 2011
SL isn’t the only thing tanking; it seems to be having a knock on effect with the Herald, too. Whilst not a bad article, it is not a good one, either. The Lindens are such bungling incompetents that any RL journalist reporting on a similar RL company would hang them out to dry
If this is ‘beware of SL addiction’ article, it is prob a few years too late. SL under the dynamic Rod ‘Bumble’ is in a nose-dive a Stuka would envy. Once popular sims I visit are empty, empty, empty…..
Observer
Nov 25th, 2011
SL is great. As long as you have a decent RL job and limit SL to a game hobby. I wonder how many people’s real lives have been utterly destroyed because LL presented a promise/dream and then shit all over their customers. I honestly wish ill will on Corey and the rest of the useless Linden Lab puss that defected to Facebook, google, etc. They ruined SL. Then arrogantly stalked off with a stalk of celery sticking out of their butts because they did not get their useless waste of skin way. They would not even visit their dying children in the hospital. That is how fucked up they are.
hobo kelly
Nov 25th, 2011
yay Tenshi is back !
I agree, Second Life has turned into a big crap sandwich and people should wake up from that nightmare and escape while the escaping is good. A lot of people are waking up and getting the hell out. Builds that have been rezzed out and undulating in SL for like 6 years, malls, airports, whole regions etc etc are just dissappearing overnight. “Hey I was just here yesterday and this was a big mall, now its a swamp! Look the mall still shows on the world map so it must have just been cleared yesterday” … stuff like that is going on everywhere. People are getting out. LL should shut SL down sooner rather than later. People probably shouldn’t put any more money into it at this point.
yay, Tenshi is back !
hobo kelly
Nov 25th, 2011
Mischief Makers, lets blow off the mould and play some gold! All the way back to 2009 we go for this Shopping Cart Disco commercial starring Tenshi Vielle, lets watch !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7TIBpwdHls
Senban Babii
Nov 25th, 2011
@Tenshi
Interesting piece Tenshi! Even if it doesn’t match the experiences of others, it’s an interesting insight into *your* experiences.
“Keep your virtual life, but learn how to keep it proportionate.”
I think this is really the key point that people need to take away from your piece. Yes SL can be escapist, yes SL can be therapeutic, yes SL can be a way to explore your own thoughts and identity, yes SL can be good old fashioned fun but the trick is to not let it become a replacement mechanism. It should enable, not replace. The same is true for anything of course, not just SL. Botgirl did something recently that reminds me of this.
http://botgirl.blogspot.com/2011/11/day-in-life-of-pervasively-connected.html
“Video games only temporarily assist in making a person feel better.”
This is true but there’s an extra layer of problem to consider. Let’s say I log into some online FPS game like Modern Warfare 2. I run around, I play for half an hour against people I’ve never seen before and maybe never will again. And the world resets with the end of every round. But SL is persistent. The world continues, the people continue and when we log out we’re being left behind. A lot of people become so involved that they fear being left behind so they constantly log in, which goes back to Botgirl’s strip of course. As you said yourself, your old friends become like strangers if you fall too far behind, I’ve seen this myself.
What it boils down to is balance and keeping things in perspective. I think that part of the problem has always been with the way SL was marketed as “Second Life”. It’s not just SL that does this of course, we could talk about The Sims for example. A better name would have been something like “Life Plus” but then we get into the augmentist debate (and I’m firmly an immersionist but that’s a different story).
Good article anyway, lots to think about
James Doe
Nov 25th, 2011
@Tenshi
Seems to me you had many issues in your real life. Which helped add to the problems you had in your secondlife.
Your article is your view.
How many people have a good Second Life and a good Real Life.
Lets see an article describing the opposing view of this person.
Sounds to me you brought some of your own problems with your website when you were overworked overstressed and so forth.
Sounds to me that it was you trying to make people in Second Life feel how your Real Life was.
I agree with the Lysana in a lot of what she posted.
Second Life has issues just like ones Real Life. It is in part because people view Second Life differently some view it as an extension of themselves, Some view it as a Game, others view it as a Social Network. You have all this clashing together.
But just like ones Real Life their will be that Drama.
FredIsDead
Nov 25th, 2011
@James Doe You sure do like to diss on other people. Why don’t you get a grammar checker and improve your own spew? Your amateur analysis reaks of Eau de Narcissist. Edit yourself.
And all the rest of you lot whinging about stories. Go write some. Pixeleen pays if it is worth publishing. The Herald is always looking for writers. Go for it. Snark out and get paid. I’ll wager you haven’t the stuffing for it. @Nelson did one and ran mewling into the night.
Edna
Nov 25th, 2011
It makes for a much better life to fall in love, get married for life, and then, and only then, have a baby. An abundance of long-term studies have shown that two parent households and their children are more stable, better off financially, better off financially, and the kids do better in school.
As far as encouraging people to leave Second Life, this is a Second Life fan site. Second Life is struggling as it is, Second Life doesn’t need cheerleaders for leaving Second Life. If you don’t want to use Second Life, that is your own business and it is inappropriate to promote here.
Orca Flotta
Nov 25th, 2011
I found Tenshi’s article neither good nor informative. It was honest, at least between the lines, and reading about how Tenshi fucked up her RL made me sad. Just sad.
She joined for the wrong reason, to compensate for a bad RL (eventhough she doesn’t see it that way or admits it) and now she left for a not-better reason.
And now she tells us to get out of SL as well. And why? Because the rest of us made as many bad decisions as she, because we’re all social inept, because we all got babies on impulse, because we’re not able to hold down a good job, because we’re hobos, because we can’t finance a decent lifestyle?
Uh, no, forget it, hun.
I’m a regular SL addict, a full immersionist. Still RL comes always first! That’s one of the most important rules in SL, no way around it. And if it comes to the decision which life is more important to you, the answer is clear for 99.999? of SLers.
I guess Tenshi just missed the boat … again
Orca Flotta
Nov 25th, 2011
replace the 99.999? with 99.9999999 %
LOL
Me
Nov 25th, 2011
I don’t really agree with any viewpoint, it all sounds like people really don’t seem to understand what kind of friends they have in SL.
People who believe they are anonymous or have no authority to prevent them from harming others basically go crazy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment
In SL I have seen horror stories about people stalking others, putting viruses on their computers, harassing them and basically mining their personal computers with no permission to seek to hurt people irl over a videogame.
RL over SL there is no prioritization, if a person cannot be human in SL then don’t trust them in RL.
I really see this article not as trying to persuade people to do anything – giving information isn’t an attempt to control. I see it is an attempt to illustrate an opinion.
Overall, it really doesn’t matter, all that really looks important to me is whether people like TBD (see http://pastebin.com/HPuzQhN6) are really out there, looking to find people like Tenshi, find out RL information and try to kill them like they seem to like threatening so much.
Doesn’t matter if you like SL or not if people are out looking to kill people!
Axel Oakleaf
Nov 25th, 2011
@ Hobo Kelly:
We should tell all our friends about Second Life,i don’t want SL to die.
I’ve been to Inworldz and there is nothing there for me right now.
hobo kelly
Nov 25th, 2011
This whole thing may go back to “The Crazy Cat Lady Talking Hand Puppet” which may be cursed. If you have ever put the CCLTHP onto your hand and felt it come to life and start jerking around almost pulling your arm out of the socket as it trys to take off after percieved technocommunists, then you may be cursed too. I know Tenshi has put it on:
http://alphavilleherald.com/2009/05/a-herald-fashionistas-advice-for-new-media-journalists.html
I have worn it too, and it tried to pull my arm right out of the socket too, but wear it I did. Until time and space itself began to bend. So go ahead you cursed Cat Lady, just try to throw your curses at me. Strip me down to the lowest plank on the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs and then crashe me even lower and I will still persist, ney, I will persist and thrive as I claw my way back along your cursed strings of curse where I will find you and nullify you and and break the curse and make the Crazy Cat Lady Talking Hand Puppet once again safe to wear.
as GOD is my wittness
Bunjie
Nov 25th, 2011
@FredIsDead
A: why is Fred Dead and or is that a threat to “Fred” the you know who Fred, and B: do you know where Nelson is I miss him. <3
@RIP Tux
With people comes baggage and with baggage comes drama, you can't expect someone to not bring this stuff with them into SL as it's a platform built out of their perspectives on RL life or what was advertised as a "dream", a chance to build their ideal RL inSL or too engage in something they can't achieve through RL due to outside putting too many obstacles upon them, either due to financial constrains or perhaps race, age, disability or country issues.
Prokofy has a "dream" she also claims to be in a less fortunate position inRL as she can't get a RL job? due to her age or other factors, but not just because she's intolerable around others.
(For one who claims to not be able to get a RL job it's a bit stupid to be using that as a taunt towards others she has a beef with on the platform, but then Prokofy Neva looks in the mirror)
She seems to be constantly pushing her perspective, bullying and silencing those who are against her so they get upfront air time with Linden Lab, and because of her attitude and the social etiquette others have built around her claiming shes a "troll" few are willing to risk challenging these ideas or if it's even the right course for Linden Lab or for us who spend money to have an enjoyable experience, not least she might know things about them they'd rather keep secret so won't stand up against bad policy's.
Look at her vs Marx Dudek where she constantly fires back with the whole your mum called you a name line, granted Marx built some of her rep on that but how far would Prokofy go if she found out something about Marx and her RL family? would she fire back with it to score a point and silence her? or would she be an adult and stay tight lipped?
She seemed ready and willing to push the boundaries to save someone from killing themselves which is admirable if she did it for the right reasons but also shows shes not the best person to be promoting SL and ideas that are technology based as she can't even remember to check the whois for a "name" and address even after shes "whois" me to collect my RL data.
You can see directly with me she was very willing and active in collecting my RL information (16 tries with whois tools? and then you forget and someone has to remind you?) the stuff she should not need but "might need for later" just like the JLU do on residents they come across and not just ones they don't like.
Residents who are collecting your RL baggage to use against you are the sort of residents that are so deeply involved they need to be forcibly "legally" removed by Linden Lab for their safety and for ours, these people don't just login for coffee, chat, a short experience or to run a business or engage in the platform in a healthy way, they login to out live everyone elses SL experience by forcing their perspectives and rules on others until there's no one left to speak out and they've achieved that power status they lack inRL.
Not to forget if you're fortunate enough to end up in front of them they bring out the "evidence and faux abuse reports" as leverage to silence your voice and in world or RL experience.
Judging by her bullying Linden Lab for none encroach trees and the disaster it became on the Teen grid I'd say don't let that woman speak out on our behalf not now, not ever as she now want's some other "TOS law" aka further reach for breaking the TOS aka RL punishment for those shes baited into attacking her inSL, it's just another little Hitler bullying others out of the picture and then promoting blind short sited ideas that will give her more reach and power over others real life's from the comfort of her keyboard, while claiming it's for the benefit of others who are suffering with a poor TOS and DMCA / Content Theft.
SL is going to be a failure because of people like her and the JLU who can't separate themselves from their inSL, and who can't shorten the experience towards getting something out of it that doesn't effect others, because that's what drives them blind power and a sense of being right regardless of consequences towards others.
Given time SL will cross too far over into RL and will eventually end up with someone dead due to this constant need to collect data on each other and too remove them from their "experience" and as the "experience" is now mySL the social network tools which will spread ideas and lies far and wide you'll find as residents can't escape those who Linden Lab fails to enforce on due to them holding the land keys to a get out of jail card" they'll take things into their own hands outside of SL.
Also look at voice it's a thing I detest being active when I just randomly go places as you get to hear all that stuff I sure as hell don't want to know.
It ruins my perspective on the experience that I'm currently engaging in with or around other "personage avatars" either in the environment or directly via a shared experience, like with what Senban says you login another "game" and you get a random fun experience but with SL it's constant and the more you socialize with so called friends and neighbours the more it builds up towards you knowing stuff that really ruins the experience for you.
A side note I always say is if Kalel has spent so long inadvertently getting to know people by documenting and spying on them, why does he see them as less of a human? and something that he claims he has a need to remove them from our "experience" and for our benefit?
no, no, no, Kalel is too far gone for us too stand back and let him and his deluded cult be Judge, Jury and Abuse Report executioner over our Second and Real life's regardless of who they or you think we are it's unacceptable, because left unabated and unchallenged the next target will become you through Phantom Zone and how ever little data they say it collects it's still tracking who goes where even if your only marked out as a "troll" or "personage".
Back to my point the more you unhealthily engage in the platform the more you loose sight of why you joined in the first place, trying to keep up with whos who and what's popular to stay ahead of enemy's or rivals is not a good use of this platform. But some of these fashionistas are just as bad going to war with each other over what pair of pants are this seasons must make and sadly that will never change as people are people, in the end it really doesn't matter as all that matters is an experience that's enjoyable and short enough to catch up with friends and not long enough to ruin yours and other residents real lives.
Moderation is the key, don't Overdose on Virtual Reality to a point you have "augmented goggles" that don't differentiate between RL and SL, how ever good augmented reality is and will be don't loose sight of what's real and the wider damage it causes just because someone inSL told you it was such and so.
It's an semi-open ended platform but I feel the point of it is to get something out of it via an experience that is a beneficial reward for the time or money you put in or that can augment your RL in a good way towards a wider goal, and not just draining away your time and money towards a failed idea or dream that pushes you into a wider goal that harms and ruins your or other residents RL.
If you can't differentiate between the two and whats acceptable socially because your SL fantasies, and delusions of grandeur on the ability to be a "life" executioner over what you deem to be unsuitable conduct wont let you escape the un-reality of it, you shouldn't be here because you're going to get addicted to pursuit of a goal you can't reach and doing it at all costs and at the expense of those also taking alternate paths on the platform is a grossly unrealistic path that will end in everyone turning against you.
I should know as I believe I speak from my own experience of this perspective in a small way and I do feel I'm becoming that which I hate, so I'd appreciate more people telling Linden Lab when things like this are not acceptable so I can salvage whats left of my mental health, and not just watching anyone speaking out being branded as a griefer and mentally unstable like @Me does without caring for the wider aspects and impact of the core issue if left to run wild.
You see @Me you're short sighted and lack experience as if you're not close to an issue and recognize you might become that which you hate you should not be Judging others as mentally insane or just unstable as you're no where near their frame of mind.
Unless of course you're a certified greifer and it's the entirely opposite.
Axel Oakleaf
Nov 25th, 2011
@ Hobo Kelly:
wanna yiff?
Xpontaneus
Nov 25th, 2011
I think that the main problem of SL addiction is not SL itself, it is the person who plays on it. There is nothing wrong to just play a little bit in the game but if you stay like 12 hours on the game or more then that is not sane. I mean it is nice to play and even also it can help you to forgot the bad things of the real life.
I am satisfied just playing (sometimes) and if there is something possitive of SL it is about building and scripting, one of the nicest things is that you can awake your creativity and do a little more.
I have met some Residents in world that cannot have a normal RL, just because they have some kind of problem or defect and even on SL they have a better experience.
SL Addiction is not different than any other, it is just the person who plays to make their own decision to continue or to stop. If it a good experience or a bad one depend on us and not on the game.
LOL
Nov 25th, 2011
Often I ponder what will happen to the many who are completely addicted to SL like Tenshi describes in her story when Second Life is shut down.
When there is no more fake land to buy, or pixel clothing to dress up with what will the humans do then?
Xpontaneus
Nov 25th, 2011
Well if SL just shut down then go to one of the OpenSim or Osgrid and get some stuff for free or may be even you can develop your own fake land installing your own OpenSim server in your own computer and who knows ? may be you can get some pixel clothes or anything else!.
Tizzers Foxchase
Nov 26th, 2011
“Often I ponder what will happen to the many who are completely addicted to SL like Tenshi describes in her story when Second Life is shut down.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHZ8CaaqtSc
Azure Twine
Nov 26th, 2011
Very nice, “sky is falling” piece.
Second Life has been dying since the day I first logged in. Guess what, so is your RL.
All things in moderation or you run the risk of being consumed. I have met people in SL I would love to meet someday. i did that when i was playing Ultima Online as well. Some of them I did meet.
SL affords me the opportunity to express myself, to be who I really am on the inside. Yes there are bad people in SL. There are bad people in RL too.
I can meet people who I would not normally have the opportunity to meet. People with similar interests and wonderful stories. I can listen to music from all over the world. Have discussions that i would never dream of having with family and co workers.
This type of thing has existed for hundreds of years, this is just the latest iteration of it. My mother had a pen pal. Someone she never met. They exchanged stories and feelings and generally were a part of each other’s lives. They never did meet face to face.
Having pen pals was socially acceptable and encouraged. It was a project in her school. she and her pen pal just kept it up longer. We just live in a more instant gratification and accelerated society. I still believe very strongly that are are good aspects to SL. And i will never call it a game. It isn’t a game to me.
Orca Flotta
Nov 26th, 2011
Of course our very own Botgirl has gotten wind about this latest affair as well:
http://botgirl.blogspot.com/2011/11/new-slconspiracy-addiction-to-rl-claims.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BotgirlsSecondLifeDiary+%28Botgirl%27s+Second+Life%C2%AE+Diary%29
lolol
Nov 26th, 2011
“I could assist making a virtual artist, or help bring them down – something I attempted to avoid doing until I felt just cause for it.”
Gee, this twit wonders why people stalked her in SL. Tenshi brought it all on herself.Had Tenshi’s writers for the drama rag( aka the shopping cart disco) had not stalked and harassed other builders, she would not have had any problems.
Tenshi is as bad as the other drama- fags at the SLU.The weirdos on the SLU forum are so bored in SL, that their idea of entertainment is to go on witch hunts and cause problems with other builders.
http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/general-sl-discussion/63903-mesh-police-nicked-content-watch.html
I use forums like this one to determine if I am going to buy from a particular builder or not. If the builder is on this forum is causing drama for other people and is unable to mind their own business, I take my shopping elsewhere.
I am glad you got a taste of your own medicine Tenshi.
Persephone Bolero
Nov 27th, 2011
I spend a lot of time on SL and have, at times, averaged 20 hours a week or more since I first logged on five years ago. I’ve found it to be a wonderful compliment to my RL. I have not found it has any negative impact on my career or my RL relationships.
I have encountered far more people from far more diverse backgrounds, experiences, and locations than I ever could have in RL, especially after living in some rural areas for many years. So, my circle of friends is larger than it ever would have been without it.
Some people do use SL in a way that negatively affects their own real lives. But this is true of drugs, sex, food, and television, among other things. I’ve engaged in all those activities without any significant consequences that exceeded the benefits I gained from them. This would not be true of alcohol, which most people don’t seem to have any problem with.
In other words, addictions are not caused by things. They’re caused by people’s choice to engage in an activity seeking benefits that no longer exceed costs. I’ve been there. I’m sure most people have. But whatever our “drug of choice,” the problem is not caused by the object of our obsessions. We are the cause.
It seems that in the end, the author of this article made different choices that produced different results in her life, and she’s more happier for it. Good for her. But this article says little about the nature of SL and much more about the author’s individual choices related to her use of SL.
Lordy
Nov 27th, 2011
Yeah Tenshi. I knew you back in your glory days and yes, you could be a great girl. Very smart and friendly-at least to me-who took no crap from anyone. But you also could be a parasite who fed on the misery of others (through your countless alt blogs like http://theragsl.blogspot.com. You trashed some so called friends that took up for you out of sympathy of your family situation and you stabbed them in the back. You reap what you sow.
At any rate, I wish you well and wish for you the best in life. RL.
Trapper
Nov 27th, 2011
This is the same Tenshi who slandered my friend Minnu Palen in 2008.
Tenshi accused Minnu of stealing skin textures from Renderosity and ended up being very wrong.
Tenshi is gone? Good Riddence
Debi Dastardly
Nov 27th, 2011
Nice story Tenshi, many points to think about. Myself and many others joined SL to play laugh and have fun. Despite having a well adjusted fairly normal RL. It is good sometimes to wallow in the mud with the pigs so you feel better about how much of a loser you are not.
For the most part I have moved away from SL. Though it is still a lot of fun to log in and play every now and then, or come on here and read some of these comments.
To me SL isn’t real. Most people are very different on SL than they are in RL. Some imagine they are serious business people, with acres of virtual land. And than there are the power hungry that lead such low real lives they feel the need to try and rule some or all of the virtual world.
In many ways I have seen the best of human nature, and the worst of human nature on SL. The bad outweighs the good by far, but I have always enjoyed poking at these people and laughing my ass off in the process.
And for my final point.
@Orca
YOU MISS THE BOAT EVERY TIME YOU WAKE UP DORKA FLOATER
Deb out
Orca Flotta
Nov 28th, 2011
Debi wrote:
And for my final point.
@Orca
YOU MISS THE BOAT EVERY TIME YOU WAKE UP DORKA FLOATER
Deb out
Care to elaborate on that “point”?
You see, by definition, without any arguments given of proof of why I miss the boat, this one-sentence slander doesn’t qualify as a point.
It is just that: slander.
And it proves nothing except maybe the fact that you are a mean and stupid person.
The rest of your comment I liked. Particularly the part about poking at bad people, for that is what I usually do as well. Oh sorry, did I poke on you at an earlier occasion?
Orcs out
hobo kelly
Nov 28th, 2011
anybody that hangs out with the Maritime Tactical Weevels is automatically suspect in my book
Orca Flotta
Nov 28th, 2011
Hobo wrote:
“Maritime Tactical Weevels”
Sorry, couldn’t find that term in my dictionary.
Jumpman Lane
Nov 28th, 2011
sap!
Yep
Nov 28th, 2011
For Orca,
Have you tried this game?
http://www.burningsea.com/page/home
hobo kelly
Nov 28th, 2011
God, the Crazy Cat Lady Talking Hand Puppet is flipping and flopping around while laying on the table and nobody is even wearing it right now. It wants to talk real bad. My right rotator cuff was just just starting to heal from the last time I wore it. Putting it on to let it talk has become something you really have to weigh the tradeoffs on now. I thought it would be really cool to have one of the damned things at one time. For a long time I thought it would be cool. Then I got one at the AH party and my life has gone into the shitter ever since. Its gonna break the damned table if I don’t put it on. Here goes, putting it on… Whats that Cat Lady? “blah blah blah Maritime Tacticle Weevels (MTW) blah blah…”
CCLTHP:
“After all, that’s the kind of hardball MarkTwain White said, telling the Lindens after the openspace sim debacle that he would pick up his Hollywood and Nantucket continents and high-tail to OpenSim unless the Lindens gave them a break on free sailing sims. That’s how they roll there. And that’s what the Lindens understand: force. MTW got on sim TV everywhere and on the blogs and said, basically, “I’m outta here with my peeps unless you play ball with me” — and they did. He got free sims. He got Linden free advertising for his rentals. He got support for sailing. He will be getting the infohub for his continent that helps his business and his activities. All to the good…except it’s as if each one of these capers is being set up like a principality or a city-state with a personal fiefdom of whatever land baron gets to swagger around the hardest — and of course buy a lot of sims. It’s not a civil society.”
http://secondthoughts.typepad.com/second_thoughts/2009/08/lindens-secretly-planning-zoning-with-big-sl-land-barons.html
Shut it all down…
Chelsea_Malibu
Nov 28th, 2011
I fully understand where you are on this. it’s not so much as Second Life creates the addiction as much as it allows us to live much better with our addictions. Productivity and worth is gauged by false criteria that often causes us to go on thinking we are someone doing something worthwhile when the reality is that is it’s a worthless pursuit or just a hobby.
I myself have been drawn in such a way and actually made pretty good money in SL for a while. However the cost was immense. I left a very good job to pursue the virtual frontier which was no doubt the best job I had ever had and eventually, the money dried up and left me with nothing to show for my years of work.
Today, I find little time to play in SL but I would much rather create than watch TV so, I treat it as my TV downtime and no more than a casual hobby. However, now that I have not been there as much, I have found so many more things I enjoy in RL, the most of which is making a real income again.
Debi Dastardly
Nov 28th, 2011
@Orca
“Care to elaborate on that “point”?”
Sure since you asked. Someone as misinformed as you are about almost everything misses the boat anytime you are conscious.
“You see, by definition, without any arguments given of proof of why I miss the boat, this one-sentence slander doesn’t qualify as a point.
It is just that: slander.”
See above.
“The rest of your comment I liked. Particularly the part about poking at bad people, for that is what I usually do as well. Oh sorry, did I poke on you at an earlier occasion?”
If you did you missed, but thanks for the compliment anyway.
“Orcs out”
Please try to be original for Fs sake. Don’t mimic me to try and look cool or smart.
Later Bitches
Orca Flotta
Nov 29th, 2011
@ Yep, Hobo:
Sorry, but are you accusing me of hanging out with MTW? I rented a 1/4 from him for a few weeks until I was broke, apart from that the only thing we have in common is a deepsitting distrust and disgust for another. He fired me from his blog, he and his fanbois started a bitch hunt after me and some other independent thinkers in the old SLSA forums. I’m not a member in any of his groups neither and you won’t see me in Blake Sea very often.
@ Debi:
You are hopeless. Your response wasn’t an explanation of any kind, just a repeat of the first untrue accusation.
1) how could I be misinformed about Tenshi’s “article”? I read her dribble and got to the opinion that she is nothing but a self-centered, self-promoting, self-important loser. Maybe you’re her alt?
2) yes, I mimicked you. Guess why? Because it doesn’t fulfill any need and is just downright annoying. As you have just proven, thankyouverymuch.
Now go home, torture your cats or try to trroll someone else. Maybe you find a willing viction in your own local kiddie league.
Orca Flotta
Nov 29th, 2011
Instead of boring us with the same old, if sad tho, story about MTWs deals with LL, here is a link to the same blog, but a much more actual story … and it’s even in parts about Tenshi.
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451cfe069e201543787b459970c
Orca Flotta
Nov 29th, 2011
Sorry that link didn’t work. Try this:
http://secondthoughts.typepad.com/second_thoughts/2011/11/the-misogyny-of-trashing-second-life.html
James Doe
Nov 29th, 2011
I do find it amusing that so many people posting they don’t play sl anymore or that this “web paper” has become basically a lets trash Second Life blog.
We have an article written by a woman or man not that it matters who gives a sob story about how mean people are in sl and how they were addicted to Second Life. How terrible their RL was. Yes it all could be true.
But then you find out this person had made other peoples Second Lives miserable.
Many people have enjoyable Second Lives. They don’t let people like this Tenshi Vielle ruin their enjoyment.
I don’t believe the addiction was to Second Life it was the addiction to the hate they were able to create that they felt they could ruin peoples business or sl lives.
One could read books as much as they play second life does that make them addicted to books? I guess so.
@Orca, Yes reading Second Thoughts I think that write up is a bit more accurate to Tenshi’s issue than Tenshi wrote. I am still trying to understand for someone who said they left SL for such a time has decided to come back and write a post for this blog?
Some one wanting attention?
Honestly people you don’t like Second Life then just walk away stop trying to comment like you care anymore. Its not going to change,
Emperor Norton
Nov 29th, 2011
So we get this article about rage quitting second life because everyone hates the author for the drama they created RIGHT at the same time the Wrong Hands is declaring the JLU Wik,i leaks drama over just because it’s time move on with life (insert noble thumping of chests here)
AGAIN, the Herald delivers on the irony.
Alice
Nov 29th, 2011
This article certainly explains a lot of your behaviour when you were still active in SL. I know many designers back then feared you for the drama you caused and it seems like it was all done to compensate for a crumbling real life.
And still you seem to draw the wrong conclusions. You fled into SL from an unhappy RL, and being in SL only made your problems worse – but you can’t seem to realize that many of us don’t connect to SL for the sake of having power over people or having strangers hang onto our every word, but to just have fun. You completely leave out WHY so many people seemed to hate you (I too, remember your anon blogs and alts) and still are unwilling or unable to properly reflect on why you bounce from ruined first life to ruined second life and back (hint: it’s not the fault of those mean friends of yours).
I sincerely hope that you will get back up on your feet and build a good life for you and your kid, but I think it will be very hard indeed without some long, hard introspection. The great draw of SL is that you can reinvent yourself and be someone else, as you correctly pointed out. But the end the real you always shines through and the pattern repeats.
Bunjie
Nov 29th, 2011
@James Doe
First off not wanting to be a grammar Nazi of sorts but could you please press return? as the lack of line breaks under sentences makes it increasingly harder to read and follow as you drone on, I under normal circumstances “none Jumpy” don’t mind spelling mistakes, but posting this way it just seems you can’t be arsed when you’re this unable to press return, or is it now broken from this on going effort to keep spiting out incomprehensible narrow minded garbage?
Many older residents have “come back” and there’s many reasons why that could be but for some reason you seem to fail to understand other possibilities could be at play than just accusing them of wanting attention, I guess it’s news to you but not everyone who posts on the herald wants attention as you’d have to be a little insane to put everything out there and hope to reap a reward other than a few L$ that pix will pay you for an article.
And if she did want attention there’s good reasons in some cases to seek it depending on the issue, anyway I’ll just name a few reasons why ex-residents might come back around SL:
Closure? Improved confidence in Linden Labs direction? = Rodvik? or Improved Service Tools? = Mesh? I’m sure you can name a few “Mr I use SL but won’t tell you who I am” can you? No? OK I’ll name a big one.
Real world economic climate = “fucked” so as SL is an easy way to make coffee money, would you “Mr James I can’t be arsed pressing return Doe” begrudge someone coming back? just because they had some bad water with other residents? shes not perma-banned? so why can’t she come back and talk about her past James? why the shit attitude when she wants to cough up an excuse for how shes acted?
Perhaps in her case she might want to put all this water under the bridge and move on in-world?, but would you begrudge her that because your own prejudices wont let someone find closure by outing their RL issues?
You and others seem to feel a need to belittle her courage, have no doubt it takes great courage to come back and say what shes said and yet you and others still hang on here as cowards hiding every inch of yourself away from any scrutiny what so ever.
Tizzers was right when she posted that film clip ending for Surrogates, I just watched it today and I have to say I find it improved my perspective with ongoing situations.
Though it makes sense to me that if those shes wronged can hear what she has to express through here, one of the few places left that has wide reach then maybe just maybe they can better understand and forgive her based on this new evidence of perspective? or maybe the message here is that when people get desperate and too involved they loose a little morality? and perhaps shes been around “the block” and wanted to share with us her experience of how getting too involved inSL or virtual reality can be dangerous if you have on going RL concerns.
You must know shes likely muted by many residents that shes blogged about, just like Prokofy is and she can’t do it personally one to one unless they IM her or she’d be wasting her time shouting into their echo chambers? so it makes sense to share it here.
Other than that is it too hard to understand older “ex-residents” might find themselves out of work and or in between work? As you should know James being the secret resident you claim you are, most of Linden Labs customers aren’t located in the United States and their economy’s are a mess. This might be why you’ll see even older residents checking out Second Life again as they’ll be looking for old ways to make some cash, to keep making those ends meet or something to do in winter during their long term efforts in job hunting or because they want to avoid the old folks.
http://youtu.be/ov98nl1mfCQ
Yep
Nov 29th, 2011
“@ Yep, Hobo:
Sorry, but are you accusing me of hanging out with MTW? ”
No orca I said nothing about hanging out with that asshat MTW.
I met you on another grid and you were asking about sailing and mentioned pirate battles. A friend sent me that link and I was passing it on to see if this game was something you might like.
Bunjie
Nov 29th, 2011
@James Doe
One more thing, coming back here (AH) does not = coming back inSL although there’s nothing stopping her after shes said this if she want’s to restart SL under another name.
Regardless of the title of this article being “kicking an addition”, she can still use SL in moderation and I don’t think because it’s aimed at how she got out or how and why she had to leave it that it should in anyway lock her into not re-entering SL.
Even if she doesn’t like it now she might like it’s path in the future and shouldn’t feel because she posted this that she can’t come back, and don’t think for a minute that anyone expelled from SL is not active in world under another name and staying away regardless of what they say or have said or done.
Therefor that’s her choice James, not yours or mine but her brand “name” sure has taken a hit regardless of this article and no one likes to look like a hypocrite and turn tail or flip flop, but because of the economy people might have to swallow their pride and do things they thought they’d never do, but as long as they’re acting in a legal fashion I think everyone can take it on the chin and leave them be.
Yep
Nov 29th, 2011
The SCD,JLU and the SLU are all in the same boat. All of these groups stalk and bother people under a flag of self righteous beliefs.
Each one of these groups has tried to “SAVE THE GRID” .
So two down and one to go.
Yordie Sands
Nov 29th, 2011
Hi Tenshi…
I found your story disheartening. It sounds like you made the right choice for you, especially in your situation, but I always find it upsetting for the people who’ve left SL to demean those of us who find it fun. I mean, you say you consider SL your “dirty secret.” That’s says, I’m better than you because I’m trying to hide the fact that I was involved with people like _you_.
OTOH, yes, there are peeps who are addicted in the way you suggest and I know of several people who should do what you did and leave. But your comments really say, if you are inworld for more thant two hours a day, you are messed up. Well, that’s me. I’m inworld on average 4 or 5 hours a day.
Yes, I’ve had bad times in SL. This place is not all fun and games. I’ve found myself wasting time and meeting some really bad people. But the thing is, I find SL a place for creativity and exploration. And if you are careful you find friendships and even romance.
Yes, things don’t seem to be going well for SL atm, but I look to Rod Humble with great expectations.
Second Life is a platform for a second life, and your second life is really a point of view, your own perspective.
I suspect your comments are going to be helpful to some people in situations like yours was, but I am offended by former SL residents who look back with scorn at those of us who carry on.
Ntl, kind wishes to you in your real life, but buh-bye.
Orca Flotta
Nov 30th, 2011
Yep wrote:
“I met you on another grid and you were asking about sailing and mentioned pirate battles. A friend sent me that link and I was passing it on to see if this game was something you might like.”
Oh yes, sory, it was just Hobo, I thought your post would aim in the same direction by mentioning a game about burned oceans or sumsuch. And, yes, you met me in … was it OSG, InworldZ or so? I was asking about sailing because I heard they haven’t incorporated a physics engine there. WTF? How can they call it a virtual world with some of the most basic functionalities missing? Apart from that I surely didn’t mention pirates or battles since I detest both. And I never play games neither.