Photo Essay: Homeless /b/tards Construct New Base in Eon

by Urizenus Sklar on 11/08/07 at 7:08 pm

by Urizenus Sklar

Never Forget. /b/tards pay respects to the permabanned.

Forlorn and despondent and more than a little suicidal after being cast to the street when the Lindens shut down Woodbury University, the never-say-die /b/tards of 4chan’s /b/ board (not to be confused with 7chan’s /b/ board /b/tards) have fashioned a new home in the sky over Eon (249, 102, 630), bending pixels with their bare little virtual hands and fashioning a place that’s one part Elvis on acid and two parts post-apocalypse New Jersey.

Yet it is not all ripple wine, jug handle U-turns, and plastic roses, as even during my visit the /b/tards were forced to fight off terrorist furries, annoying wannabees (which they directed to eBaum’s World), and the stigma of alleged associations with 7chan, the Patriotic Nigras (or PN), and 4chans that lose it and do things like make dirty bomb threats against football stadiums and crank call the greatest entertainer of our era: Tom Green. Pen Philbin, Ralewyn Gray, Jeeves Lazarno and several other members of the crew were kind enough to give me a tour of their new digs. They assure us,(i) it will not be a griefer base, that (ii) they don’t overlap much with the PN, (iii) the PN is dead anyway, and (iv) the PN also never existed, and that (v) 7chan is fail fail fail. So there.

Are they Eddie-Haskelling us? Well…

[fotos that would be B& at the Blingsider /b/-low the phold]

A terrorist furry harasses an ageplaying /b/tard.

The furry is removed, and Uri befriends the little fat kid.

The 4chan party van!

Never far from their gamer roots, the /b/tards clock a lot of hours in the fabulous game room.

Always clean and well groomed, /b/tard social live revolves around the laundry room.

Bringing with them the artistic sensibilities of 4chan, art is very important to SL /b/tards.

Elvis. The patron saint of Herald readers everywhere.

/b/tards pay homage to the ever popular Lee Linden.

Pen preaches about the furry menace.

The SL /b/tard Brain Trust tries to figure out what happened to all the lulz.

Like all of us, /b/tards LUV SL!

66 Responses to “Photo Essay: Homeless /b/tards Construct New Base in Eon”

  1. Prokofy Neva

    Aug 12th, 2007

    I already have a blog, Uri, and I post on other blogs. It’s all good.

    I’m glad you have your priorities straight with no. 3. That makes me feel so much better about the Herald, and I sleep better, too.

    Tell you what. If I ever see some really important story of national interest, you know, like the Lindens banning escorts or something, I’ll post it into my cramped DRAFT space here and see if it can fight its way to the top past the bukakke, mkay?

    That way, you can leave me on the masthead, and not have to fire me which would be an embarassment before your book comes out.

    You’re also welcome to put EXCOMMUNICATED as a new category and put my name on, so I can be on the masthead, but not on the masthead, you know? I think even the Holy Mother Church would allow the excommunicated into the Cathedral if it were a national disaster.

  2. Witness X

    Aug 12th, 2007

    “And why do I get the feeling that you are just Prok’s sockpuppet?”

    Oh wow, this coming from a sockpuppet himself. Intlibber’s sockpuppet. You’re just upset because I put Prok and you in the same leaky boat Jim.

  3. urizenus

    Aug 12th, 2007

    Excommunicated? Prok, you’ll always be an Old Testament prophet in my book. Which is not to say a saint.

  4. Dire Allen

    Aug 13th, 2007

    My Plastic Duck Reference was joke.. kthxbye

  5. lolwut

    Aug 13th, 2007

    “the never-say-die /b/tards of 4chan’s /b/chan (not to be confused with 7chan’s /b/chan)”

    No. A /b/tard is a /b/tard no matter the origin. They’re all the same and they all pass between the various /b/ boards on the Chans. A Channer is a Channer, they all claim brotherhood under Anonymous. This mumbo jumbo that one isn’t the other is misleading. Anonymous is Anonymous no matter what.

    I’m starting believe, Uri, you’re simply putting these stories up on the Herald because they get more hits and comments then any of the other stories. You’re giving these Anonymous types the attention they love and crave and fueling your own pagehits using them.

    PN, the Woodbury/b/tards, /b/tards, Channers, Anonymous,/i/, are ALL linked in one way or form.

    Bull, 4chan’s /b/ an’ 7chan’s /b/ have been at it for a long time, only a while ago did their hostility come uproaring for a while, now its kinda chilled.

  6. S. G.

    Aug 13th, 2007

    think of decomposing monstre, if i assume correctly was a major griefer threat at one time who went timid.

    Actually, he was never even a minor “griefer threat”. He’s always been a content creator, and has recently moved into machinima as well.

    Ability to undercut Prokofy’s hard-hitting reporting on the economy, griefers, the FIC, etc. by enabling the stories to be queued up indefinitely as Pixeleen pastes in the griefers’ propaganda

    hint: it’s not “hard hitting” if it doesn’t actually apply to reality outside the Catladysphere

  7. O.O

    Aug 13th, 2007

    The picture of ‘Lee Linden’ is in reality a portrait of one of the PN’s favourite targets, Hal Turner.

    PN is not involved AT ALL you said?

    besides, one /B/tard saying they don’t ‘play’with other /b/tards cause they fail… *eyerolls*

  8. Loloz Oh

    Aug 13th, 2007

    “Please get back to real news topics rather than this base and reactionary journalism.”

    That would involve NOT writing about SL.


    Sounds like somebody is missing the Herald.


    Don’t feel bad, I got the boot from Prok’s blog too. She didn’t like the fact that I was able to clearly articulate my arguments to her BS.

  9. Artemis Fate

    Aug 13th, 2007

    “4. Ability to undercut Prokofy’s hard-hitting reporting on the economy, griefers, the FIC, etc. by enabling the stories to be queued up indefinitely as Pixeleen pastes in the griefers’ propaganda”

    Where were all these hard-hitting reporting stories? All I saw were long crazy paranoia-fueled rants based on no circumstantial evidence derived entirely off of tinfoil conspiracies in between ad-hominem attacks and doused with a strong covering of libel.

    And somehow, you’re surprised that you’re a target for griefers, and get attacked in the comments of your stories.

  10. DaveOner

    Aug 13th, 2007

    You know what, I take everything I said about Prok back. I want her to be on the Herald as much as possible! She’s hilarious!! She’s so convincing with her material! It’s like she ACTUALLY believes her own bullshit!!

    “4. Ability to undercut Prokofy’s hard-hitting reporting on the economy, griefers, the FIC, etc. by enabling the stories to be queued up indefinitely as Pixeleen pastes in the griefers’ propaganda”?

    You can’t get anything better out of Carrot Top!! Who’s your writer, Prok?

    But seriously, I think Prok’s feelings were hurt when you called her “Junior” editor…when she hasn’t been junior anything since JFK was shot! Note how she turned a policy change that effected multiple people into a personal attack on her?

    Prok, if you don’t need the Herald, then why do you keep coming back to cry and throw a fit about being silenced? Junior?

  11. Loloz Oh

    Aug 13th, 2007

    Just like any griefer, Prokofy feeds off a constant stream of attention. My guess is her blog doesn’t generate high enough levels to sustain her. I knew she’d be back, I just didn’t realize it would be this quickly.

  12. XD

    Aug 14th, 2007

    “/B/ tards wouldn’t be caught dead surfing other chan’s boards”

    LOL WUT???!?

    BIGGEST BS ever.

    Seriously, look at Hal Turners pic, and look his name up on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Then look up Longcat, then look up all the other little memes.

    4chan tards may not all be PN… But heck, some of them are. And they’re on this little sim here. without 4chan, there wouldnt’be a 7 chan or PN.

    They claim not to allow griefers… But if everyone is anonymous how will you know who’s a ‘good guy’ and a ‘bad guy’?

    Especially if they both share their furry haet and love for nazi propaganda?

    And when you tell people to lurk more to find the truth behind the chans and their culture… I have been. and I know the truth, that you cannot trust one /b/tard if he explains what 4chan is about, as it’s somethng different for each /b/tard. For some it’s kitten captions, for others it’s furry hate, for more of them it’s all about anime child pornography.

    Guess it’s the internets scaled down. With a weeaboo in charge.

  13. anonymous

    Aug 14th, 2007

    i tried to be friends with these guys but they just called me a fagg*t and returned home. buncha jerks. i hope 7chan wins this never ending battle.

  14. Anonymous

    Aug 14th, 2007

    which battle? the one for the title of lamest group of losers on the interweb?

  15. Malfunction

    Aug 19th, 2007

    I want to bury a dear departed friend. Where can I place a gravestone for a banned /b/rother?

  16. [...] high altitude in Sandvich: a recreation of Fort Longcat – a virtual museum of PN, Soviet Woodbury, 4Chan /b/tard memes. Shock!!! [...]

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